Pictures and photos and bodies remain. the love of a life has gone.
the blood is dried and the knives are down. the fighting’s over.
I love you.
but you killed yourself.
& it never made sense to me.
I see you lying there. unclothed and perfect. smiling. laughing. giggling and teasing.
my tears fall.
for no longer are you there. but memory falls. & memory cries.
no comfort. no ease. no joyous victory.
just death. & silence. & the unforgiving anger you left me with.
You’re a girl who lost herself & died.
& i ask you. who was it easier for?
Not i who remains to lay the petals down each night. Not i who sees the ghosts you leave behind.
I love you. I love you!!!!!
But silent hand has taken you. Your own life ended. & another day. no pain.
at least for you. at least for you.
& i look deeply, longingly into your vanished eyes & god i wish you were here!
i miss you!
…i miss you…
& my heart is heavy with the pain and the foolishness and the stupidity of someone who survives. of someone who dreams and longs and wants and breathes. & would i take your place?
How do I exist without you? Now that you lie within a bed of stone.
& i am sick of this!
& unlike you….it just wont go away.
my tears roll & the full moon stares back.
& it cares nothing for the end of love.