from plus to minus i let the words roll out, an uninhibited politician who cannot lie.
i joke around & fear controls.
it is not the falsehoods i hide but truth & honesty. for you would kill me if you knew.
i look to her for integrity, a generous lady with wealth & love
i look to him, my friend, for support & sanity.
my sister laughs & rolls her eyes
my friends they shoot the breeze & tear themselves away, my mind its free in select & chosen groups.
but this secret i cannot, will not tell. vote for me i’ll say & i will burn you alive.
cause yes, i’m the top notch MP. but fuck that you’d say!
my girl stands before & my eyes reveal the embarrassment of it all
of how i want & how i need. of all desires to hold you there.
you should see me when we talk, & i wonder if she knows, i want to ask,
do you see me worshiping lips that i’ll never touch,
your skin that i cannot enjoy or stroke
or my gaze that roams across your fine female body,
do you know i ache for you & that i am scared? that i’m afraid to tell!
can you see how i fail to control myself, that i stutter in your very presence?
but maybe i am the devil’s son & these lies i tell for you.
to hide, to protect you from the truth.
that this man before you worships you.
that i cannot stand the distance that you run.
but that i cannot stand not losing you at all.
if only a god would help.
~ when desire is not allowed to love
(c) Ed Simkins