17:42

Trapped.
Bored.
Her face, her voice, her fine young body lodged firmly within my mind.
I’m plagued by want.

Now what?
What can I do to alleviate this pain?
All I do is mope & long & want & dream
& hunger fills my thoughts with such strong desire.

Yet there’s nothing I can do.

Time without her kills.
It burns.
It cuts.
It hurts.

She drifts away on a daily tide & each weekend she sails the world by ocean light
& here I wait…
An empty vessel
My harbour quiet
Still
Lifeless.

I ache with excitement when she’s around
& I smile & gallop & climb a thousand trees for fun.
& then she’s gone.
& I’m left to rot.
A futile jester all alone.

I love her my friends.
I love her more than I can ever know myself.

& I’m scared.

I’m scared by death & the end which comes.
I’m scared by the daily goodbye.
I’m scared by the moments I know in which she’s not there.
& I’m scared that I own no control.

I have never felt so in love my friends
So excited & joyful & happy & free
& torn by doubt & pain & want
What can I do my friends?

But die in love & loneliness.

– Life is cruel in its complexity.
© ed simkins

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