Unknown Recluse

I am lonely but for the candle which burns before me.

My eyes tortured by the sight I drank of her this day.

Sweet & young & faithful,

Crimson flirt & thoughtful words.

 

I am sick for needing her.

For urging fate to somehow twist & bring her forth to my world of darkness this long & lonely night.

 

I am empty.

Numb.

Alone.

 

Her golden smile shatters worlds of desperate pain & feeds the world with love & joy & abandoned giddy smiles.

My angel!

My perfect, pretty smiling friend!

 

I am dying for the love of you!

That I could hold & dance & swirl with you!

That I could seek your lips upon these forgotten keepers of my words.

These gates which do imprison me.

 

I love you…

There! I nearly said your name!

& the world would know!

 

But I love you & my hands will hold you secret love,

Tomorrow in the kindness of the day.

& words will I stutter & speak & jestfully declare

That no girl makes the world so fair.

 

Or breaks my heart through longing for you!

 

For you!

 

& tears shed in wanton, frustrated fashion from these tired eyes.

 

I love you…

& I scream your name in calling you!

In wanting you!

In loving you!

 

– anguish.

© ed simkins 2016

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Love which Smiles

An hour I’ve sat here.
Stuck. Numbed by happiness. Frozen in time by the smiles you left upon my heart.
Can I call you back?
I knew you’d run with open arms and hold yourself so closely against all I contain for you.

I’m beaming.
I’m frightened.
I’m in love & it bleeds.
I cannot move for fear that this moment is edging ever forwards into darkness.

Oh my angel I long for you & you have only just left!
That I could fall for such a girl. For such a woman.
For such an angel who loves me too.

I hurt.

I hurt for you.
I hurt for every second you let me caress.
I hurt for every cherished smile you send my way.

& I play back the movie I make of you.
These eyes repeat their offence & enjoy.

I breathe you in and warming fires began to flame across this frozen heart.
How can it be that love exists in such times that always end?
That happiness flits across my universe and that you, you are the beautiful radiating cause of it all!

I love you.

A simple declaration of every thought I hold for you.
I smile and long and want and dream and kiss the silent air when you are gone.

Your joy is mine.
You let me in.
You stand so close. You let me play and tease and stroke and hold
And breathe.

And you enjoy me for it.
For the happiness I give you.
& I love you.

Girl, I love you.

– each experience with you fills my heart with such abundance of dreams.
© ed simkins 2016

Fantasy Which Smiles.

I wish I could resist.
I wish I could just hold her back.
I wish I could tell her no. to go away.
But I’m me. Or human. Or weak.

& she lets me love her.

I see her & I’m desperate,
Desperate to own her.
To have her. To hold her. To caress her naked flesh.

& she smiles
& I shudder
& I follow like a chained demon.

She’s there
& I am hers til she say’s goodbye.

Yes, I’m out of control.
I cringe at my weakness.

But such beauty.
Such lips.
Such divine happiness.
How am I supposed to resist this avalanche of desire?

Oh, this world is cruel & uncaring in its jest & spiteful rules.
How can time erase all things good and banish the loved?

So in shades of darkness I plan my addiction.
In the mid-day star I will hold her close & love her well.

My Sweet angel, know that I love you for who you are.
For the smiles, the beauty and your perfect innocence.

As my wishes increase, so my longing does too.

Time brought us close.
& Time will destroy us.

– addicted to her completely.
© ed simkins 2016

Girl in Red Pleasure.

Blanket red wraps around her naked body.
She is sleeping now.

Entrapped within her female grip
I loved her well.

She smiled throughout.
She smiled & sighed & scratched my skin.

Her blood so red entwined with mine.
Her gentle breathing now soothes my sin.

Stillness of the midnight air pervades.
I wrap my body, now spent, around her tight.

She’s warm to me, she holds me close.
Her features delicate and perfect please my soul.

her hair a final midnight kiss, I love this girl.
Her happiness ensnares my ageing dreams.

& we sleep tonight.

ed simkins (c) 2016

Smiles which Smile

Look at her. Just look at her.
See how she makes me smile in every second I look at her.
She’s adorable.
She’s beautiful.
she’s a grin machine!

In my mind I’m laughing
& loving
& slowly caressing the soft cheeks of her face.
I can’t get enough.

& then she revealed her neck & lord I ravished her skin with teeth of desire.
I combed her silken hair and brushed it softly to the side.
Her delightful fringe begs my finger’s touch
A gliding fall of the softest dream.

Oh love that I could speak the truth to you
My lips ache to taste the freshness of your skin
I want to hold you
I’m desperate for you.

I love you.

– ed simkins © 2016

My girl

There she is.
My sweet heart,
My dear sweet, blissful seducer of my heart.

I am vanquished.
& I have hardly begun.
I love her.
& once again I hold the thought behind these sealed lips.

I held her today.
I held her dear and close and felt her beating heart.
& she smiled.
& she teased me something rotten & I laughed.

Her warm soothing laugh floated through the air.
Her eyes entrap me. I cannot break away.
But I write no poems of joy.
Just the truth of a broken man.

She touched me with her innocence.
& led me through the garden of want.
I have but kissed her a thousand times
& torn my heart out in self control.

There she is my stolen love.
My sweet, sweet fragrant rose, my dream.
My dear sweet, blissful smiling seducer of my heart.

– ed simkins © 2016

Perfection.

These stupid smiles of man are brought about my love.
Or fancy.
Or joyous rebirth.
Or the dreams of futility which reach around her naked skin.

She smiles.
Oh god she smiles & I bow upon the floor of hope to her & pray.
Pray that days will never end & moments shared in bliss will forever stay.
I seek her.
I love her.

The fool has tripped and plunged deep into hopeless desire of whimsy and earnest want.
He cries in smiles.
Cries in jest upon the mirror which speaks of loss and future death.
Of endings.

But in present circumstance & desperate passion, this red lust for her burns & flames.
Behind this eyes she is naked and close and speaking in the words of love.
She pleases me. Her eyes entrap and I am her hers.
Completely.

A story has begin which ends but yet in gloom & sorrow.
But yet today will light the world in glee and bliss and sought wonder.
She teases me.
She smiles and I die.

This angel stands before and dreams caress her perfect pale skin.
I am lost to the beauty of her face.
Those happy lips.
I am trapped.
& I love her.

– The fool © 2016

Perpetual Dreams Of You

You weren’t there beside me last night.
My bed of creeping thoughts was happy but devoid.
I was dreaming of you as I slunk into sleep
Dreaming that I held you, caressing your soft skin.

God, that I could kiss you!
& make everything so perfect!
I would hold you so closely
& love you so deeply & true

It’s not fair that I can’t & that’s something that bugs me
That dreams are created in the factory of my mind
& then here in the realities of my dull pained existence
You are but an illusion which cries here before me.

You climb into my arms and tell me to love well
You want my arms tight around you, protection from the nightmares
Wanting me to kiss you, look in your eyes & smile
& then safely, let you slumber through the stars which take you far from me.

I wish I didn’t love you sometimes
For the pain that you throw me
Scars this heart & this mind which betrays me
With tears of the blood which cuts with your tongue

You never need me for me
Never see me for someone separate
I’m just a ghost which you talk to or need
When you’re alone in the dark.

I’m a fool for you, my child,
I’m a guy who seeks your desire
I’m succumbed by biology
To make love & protect you.

& then when you smile & the sun fires high in the sky
God, I’m a loser, lost to your whim.
I crawl on my knees
To betray my own mind to please you.

Addicted to love, or the kiss of your lips
I’ll sit here for hours, just biding my time
Waiting for you to come over
& snuggle up besides me for warmth

Life would be easier if dreams didn’t exist
To tease & to hate me, to jest or disturb
But like the male which I am
I’m seduced by the dream

But for now, I will escape to a place where illusions can’t follow me
The gym or the garden, or some foreign land of war
& try hard to forget you, until a silent thought crawls through my mind
& the fantasies of You, begin once again.

~ summer sun in the morning sets me off dreaming about You.
© ed simkins