A Request to You.

Hey! I want to ask you something!
A connection made through time.
Though words of deepness made this evening
Elude me through this rhyme.
I wish that we, both you & I,
Could sit and speak & talk,
Or meet one day on earth’s fair land
& converse upon a walk.
My Questions collate & my knowledge seeks
A fertile train of thought
So I approach you friend, in human peace
For a friend is what is sought.
I’m 59 & 23
& all the age between
With kingdoms made & battles won
Romance is but a dream
If naked ladies ruled my world
Or beauty cast its vote
Then soul of mine, in hidden world,
Would ride outside and gloat!
But broken thoughts & failed remorse
Are curses sent to me
Which entrap & bind & tear deep wounds
– Relate no sympathy.
But here I ask & answers please!
I seek your fertile mind!
Suggest a life best led my friends
Of one that I may find.
You think I’m nuts but here I write
As evening sun departs
as pleasing forms of love & youth
Relinquish from my heart.
I wish, I hope, nay I do plead
That beauty could find it’s way
& embellish in sweet perfume & scent
An angel for this day.
But more than this I seek new worlds,
Adventure is my key!
So tell me friends, my dear read,
What direction must I be?
Give hope I ask, or bright advice,
Send ideas o’wonderment,
I need your clever thoughts, your dreams
I need them heaven sent.
with last repose, my last request
– Seriously I ask of thee!
What new adventure could I take
My friends, suggest to me!

~ yes, an actual real life request from me to YOU READER for ideas for a new adventure! I hope you’ll send a few! PLEASE!
© Ed Simkins

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Dreams Upon A Wall

would you say yes if love smiled wide? if it approached your door and knocked?

would you give it all the time of day? or politely turn it far away?

would you?

for on a wet wall outside your house, i sit and ponder. a dream fulfills my mind but flutters scared.

i recall the days, the girls, the doors which closed. i know my fate before the deed is called.

i see you walking through your warm rooms at night. i see you think and act and dream alone.

do you know i exist? do you care that i seek? that a human kind exists for you?

But a dark shadow freezes here. filled with fear, his nerves a mess.

i seek you temptress. but how, how i’m scared!

that passion sought is not the paine, but humiliation is, defeat.  the dreaded answer no.

a stupid boy.

one that’s stuck to distant wall.

i watch you dream & whispers call. repeat.

a cup of tea, a simple chat. a laugh and knowing smile.

a pleasant thought, a happy silence, the space between where no paine grows.

we’d talk and look, our eyes would flirt, and bitten lips would tease & lead.

our happy hearts would bounce and dance with loving joy that friendship brings.

& how we’d sing in silly games that children play in youthful times.

& roses wait upon your door.

for i’m scared to say, to let you know. so i walk off home & mix my tears with the pouring rain.

leave you there, through watered wooden window frames, & let you watch a wall where stranger sat.

as dark clouds journey through their twilight path, & bid farewell to dreams undone,

& slowly kiss with slight rejection, the man of truth upon your wall.

~ dreams are the things I have inside. reality i know, is unfathomable, without control.

(c) Ed Simkins

Breakup

tonight death stalks me;

a bride in red.

flaxen hair. her perfect face.

i spit blood & cry.

for dreams end in a lonely night.

destruction rife. a broken home.

she stands there .

clothed and beautiful. crying. in paine.

& my heart sinks as the water of the waves takes over.

i kneel & fall.

i love her & i cannot breathe.

she hates. she trembles. & none of the words i want to say comes forth or helps.

she shivers. shrieks. i cannot stop the pain. i cannot stop her.

her hair is wired and makeup bludgeoned all over her face.

my bruises ache. heart torn.

my efforts long surrendered.

i want to save the world. to make it alright. but where is God? where is help?

Where is anyone to tell her to stay? to explain. to show her the way.

& so i touch her.

god,  i touch her. i hold her hand and feel the smoothness of her skin.

our eyes connect. we pause the fight.

i’m trembling. she’s furious. but she’s still a child.

& i broke her.

& my regret is chained.

i feel the weight & the burden of her love.

she reaches for me with her lips and our tears merge.

she whispers soft apologies and slowly, frustratedly walks away.

& i feel the vessels in my heart tear themselves apart.

& i see her leave.

~ too long indoors makes the memories play

(c) Ed Simkins

Evening’s Surrender

Weakness is a crime.

Such is the cruel edict of life.

I love you.

– – –

A hideous angst of hate.

Of spoken lies.

The body fights & you sit there; say be strong – 1st World Antics.

My mind tightens & cries for it cannot escape.

Heavy waves attack & the ocean swamps & drowns & evening’s surrender calls.

That’s what you miss.

Laughing at this.

At me.

I AM weak – Secret truth revealed.

I long – ‘Weak’ sign written.

I cannot care for what resides within, for what resides within is shattered.

Worn out & broke.

An empty shell.

But this is weakness, that’s what you say. So i reserve no human sympathy.

These walls around me mask the light & for tonight all avenues are closed & the world outside is empty of helping hands.

Man cares for only oneself.

& Who cares for the weak?

& Yes, I tried to win! I tried to grab that fleeting chance! but defeat still arrived in hidden guise & sits, lolls, heavy on this chair which writes.

I breathe.  At least I try!

& though the world is dark & the lights are dim, death has yet to come.

Silence.

Silence is the final end. A quiet evening subdued in thoughtful reproach & Life continues.

The front door closes & watches it go.

Curtains drawn, candles lit.

Child capitulates & thoughts are writ.

(c) Ed Simkins

Death in The Snow

I was scared that time would drive her away, this ghost i met on snow filled day

a challenge drawn between two friends, a distant smile that seemed to end

i called her name, reply not made, seems death had brought it’s famous grave

to bury any stint of love, by destruction, pull and fatal shove

when others entered & spread their lies, i knew that person’s friendship ties

were stronger and deeper than any fact; a web of hatred across my tract

for when approach was lonely done, no sight revealed the golden sun,

and so that girl with dreams and fears, retracted footsteps and stalked with spears

her eyes did burn and her mouth turned sour, alone i was in that mortal hour

the final pain began to flow, when laughing witch did cackle so

she saw her power, she knew the scent, of a fear induced where love was meant

she pointed at wondered beast that roared, and smiled in solemn victory of course

that fake princess, her silken whip, her deceit revealed from bum to lip

my fault of course, i turned to see, those salacious curves of destiny

but fate is cruel, my death was known & God’s fixed hatred a long time sown

& so i lie in falling white, a bitter end in frozen night

i cry no more for my end is here, the perk of this no final tear

a huddled lump, i lie in snow, a buried fool for you to know.

(c) Ed Simkins

God & I Beside the Sea

Blue day talks and asks of ship & beckons man to enter it.

to set afloat and sail the seas and take a challenge from defeat

but as boat sails and storms occur, the old man whispers, with God confers,

“What do i do? How do i survive? How the hell do i escape this hardship alive?”

& God replied and laughed and thought, considered this & then he taught

“Life’s storms are many, each day you’ll die, but life’s adventure is the reason why

you’ll find yourself in oceans blue, freezing, crying & quite scared too.”

Man looked up from shoreline rocks and shivered twice, as coldness knocked

“God, you gave me peace, you gave me land, throughout today you lent a hand,

so why when fear engulfed me whole, did you destroy my strength and soul?

You made me break, my ship collapsed, i cried out in horror & pained relapse.

Why send me back to hated times, that i repose in horrid rhymes?

Dear God, your ocean waves crashed down & wrecked my face in frightened frowns

Why I ask? Why despise? What purpose broken with blackened skies?”

“You see,” said God, who sat beside, “the reason that i made you cry

was just to check your progress made, to see you fight outside your cave,

to see that you have grown somewhat, & that sea or Black Dog leads you not

into fatal flight or hidden fright, and make you know that of tonight

a new year starts and adventures begin, that you will suffer, but that you will win

I’ll throw wolves and cliffs and biting kids, just to make you know that you should live

a life unknown, but not of fear, that you should enjoy the darkness

& the clear.”

(c) Ed Simkins