In Love with a friend (a letter to Her).

I need now to stop you. I need your attention.
I have the ears of the world but it’s yours that I seek.
I have something to say & it burns me right through.
I love you.
Seriously. I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you.  & it’s killing me so!

From the moment you walked in when your smile lit my heart
I cried & I knew, My face danced in joy!
These are the things that you set upon me
& I want to tell you but I know that I can’t.
So here to the world, & I scream through my heart…I love you.
…I love you!

You dolled up your face & you shook up my heart, a sexed up Lolita with a razor sharp tongue.
You laughed & you smiled & my knees they were weak, but I kept it together & I set your life free.
You came & we spoke & I sang with my passion, you held on my arm & we danced & we spun,
We giggled & we chatted & we conquered the night, & the success that you brought I owe in such honour.
So I love you my girl. I love you so much!

Your lipstick of scarlet seduced my young heart, as your hair in a plait softened my fear
Your perfect pink cheeks, alive like a fire, sparkling with warmth & the radiance naïve
& your Cleopatra eyes, which entrance, pull me in, I can’t tell you the secrets that stand behind mine,
These smiles you induce & the passion inside. Your clothes left unripped & your smile not yet kissed
You tell me of others & I stand there a friend, but I’m your slave don’t you see, & I’ve fallen for you!
& I’d scream your sweet name if only to attract, & I’d hold you beside for a second too long
For your dreams I desire, you love is my goal, but friendship averts such knowledge of these thoughts
& these smiles that you share or your eyes when we meet, In golden moments alone when the rest they don’t think
& In these seclusions I undress you, in these seconds that we kiss,
& in our asides i pretend that your flirting or more, I pretend you’re seducing & I’m begging, encore
Cause I need you, I want you & I’m screaming out loud, I love you desire, Its love that I’ve found.

The moments we share are bliss for my heart, you’re the drug that I’d kill for, The fuel for these words
When will you see that you’re the goddess I request, the girl of my dreams, I love you the best,
I love you my friend & I wish that you knew. I wish that you’re beauty could stay in my life
& smile for me more & never will regret, These moments together, & these days that we get.

Girl…
I love you. With all of your beauty, I love you.

~ written for the sweetest, prettiest, most fun, most desirable girl that I know. I adore you so, so much & so completely. I’m a fool but I love.
© ed simkins

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A World Without Her.

No lips to kiss.
No dream to hold.
No sleeping beauty.
Nor child told.

No basking glory.
No woman who calls.
No allusion to fall for.
Nor romance which stalls.

No changing of rooms.
No crazy nights.
No broken cups.
Nor raucous fights.

No cars collide.
No bed to care.
No long haired carpets.
Nor breakfast shared.

No adventures together.
No feeling like shit.
No put downs or tears
Nor reason for it.

No one to say ‘No.’
No being in the way.
No reason to eat out.
Nor reason to stay.

Life in the fast lane.
The minutes are your own.
Freedom in the slow.
Thoughts kept alone.

Half the world sits silent
The other complains & loves.
But who is the happiest?
& Will I ever know?

~ Contentment is being alone. But excitement?

© Ed Simkins

Dreams Upon A Wall

would you say yes if love smiled wide? if it approached your door and knocked?

would you give it all the time of day? or politely turn it far away?

would you?

for on a wet wall outside your house, i sit and ponder. a dream fulfills my mind but flutters scared.

i recall the days, the girls, the doors which closed. i know my fate before the deed is called.

i see you walking through your warm rooms at night. i see you think and act and dream alone.

do you know i exist? do you care that i seek? that a human kind exists for you?

But a dark shadow freezes here. filled with fear, his nerves a mess.

i seek you temptress. but how, how i’m scared!

that passion sought is not the paine, but humiliation is, defeat.  the dreaded answer no.

a stupid boy.

one that’s stuck to distant wall.

i watch you dream & whispers call. repeat.

a cup of tea, a simple chat. a laugh and knowing smile.

a pleasant thought, a happy silence, the space between where no paine grows.

we’d talk and look, our eyes would flirt, and bitten lips would tease & lead.

our happy hearts would bounce and dance with loving joy that friendship brings.

& how we’d sing in silly games that children play in youthful times.

& roses wait upon your door.

for i’m scared to say, to let you know. so i walk off home & mix my tears with the pouring rain.

leave you there, through watered wooden window frames, & let you watch a wall where stranger sat.

as dark clouds journey through their twilight path, & bid farewell to dreams undone,

& slowly kiss with slight rejection, the man of truth upon your wall.

~ dreams are the things I have inside. reality i know, is unfathomable, without control.

(c) Ed Simkins

To you, most beautiful girl.

Tonight you lie in silk & a whisper I hereby send to you.

Dear ……,
Alight those pillows, release my love
In pleasant dreams & let me pleasure you.
Let my soft kisses address your perfect lips
& allow these feelings sent to warm your fragile heart.

For I love you.

I see your pretty face & it kills me so.
Your porcelain skin, embarrassed red.
Another worried sign & my heart will break.
Your frightened face so sweet, so becoming, so adorable.
So very cute.

& I adore you.
But I cannot tell.
& with that I die a million hidden deaths!
For I would love to hold your hand!
To have you rest your beautiful weary head against me.
& I would hold you until you smiled. Til peace overcame you. Til sleep took over.
& I would leave a single precious kiss pressed gently against your temple.
Framed.
By your immaculate hair.
Plaited. Long. Delicious.
Flowing locks of fantasies,
Silken strands which tease my mind.

But I cannot touch.
Though your striking eyes lure me in,
When raised from nervous escape.
& then & when, oh flirtatious eyes collide & you smile…
Starburst!
& A thousand million longing dreams!
But lady when I see you cry. If but just a single tear.
My god, I reach for you! Though I dare not show & break your trust.
Or cusp so delicately your reddened cheeks so perfectly formed.
But drown alone within your gentle voice, which sighs & hopes & joys.
.
Lord & Friends & distant Family, such a girl was never made by human hands!
So tender. Timid. & oh so sweet.
Divine.

& yes, Dear …… you make my world shine.
Though you cannot see. Or care.
But could anyone appreciate or love you more than I?
& so, how cruel that fate will never set
These loyal lips against your warm & girlish innocent skin.

Oh I wish you could love me.

Such as I love you.

~ I write about a dream I cannot hold. A beautiful, charming, endearing dream.
© Ed Simkins

one day in seven

from plus to minus i let the words roll out, an uninhibited politician who cannot lie.

i joke around & fear controls.

it is not the falsehoods i hide but truth & honesty. for you would kill me if you knew.

i look to her for integrity, a generous lady with wealth & love

i look to him, my friend, for support & sanity.

my sister laughs & rolls her eyes

my friends they shoot the breeze & tear themselves away, my mind its free in select & chosen groups.

but this secret i cannot, will not tell. vote for me i’ll say & i will burn you alive.

cause yes, i’m the top notch MP. but fuck that you’d say!

my girl stands before & my eyes reveal the embarrassment of it all

of how i want & how i need. of all desires to hold you there.

you should see me when we talk, & i wonder if she knows, i want to ask,

do you see me worshiping lips that i’ll never touch,

your skin that i cannot enjoy or stroke

or my gaze that roams across your fine female body,

do you know i ache for you & that i am scared? that i’m afraid to tell!

can you see how i fail to control myself, that i stutter in your very presence?

but maybe i am the devil’s son & these lies i tell for you.

to hide, to protect you from the truth.

that this man before you worships you.

that i cannot stand the distance that you run.

but that i cannot stand not losing you at all.

if only a god would help.

~ when desire is not allowed to love

(c) Ed Simkins

i just need & want to say your name

a beauty queen that teases me, her belt inducing, seducing me,

she’s standing there and looking fine, i’m dying to kiss and make her mine

her smile perfection, my temple of peace, this is where my search does cease

she sways a rhythm and her hips do tease, if god existed, i’d aim to please

i’d undress that girl and stand her tall, and worship her from head to floor

she’s killing me with naked looks, her fine young body and all those nooks

she stands so close & i taste her breath, sweet attraction and her skin so fresh

my teeth to bite & hands to claw,  i lay her down on furnished floor

to caress her curves like waves on shore, with her my love i’m needing more

she smiles, we kiss, and heavens rain, with gratitude for the end of pain

we lie like that for the end of time, and i’m grinning baby, cause now you’re mine

oh dreams that come and nights that go, we bask in silence, and we feel the flow

the ecstasy sustains, then drives us on, until the basking of the morning sun

romeo and juliet in naked clothes, her body warm in silken rose

my hands enclose and love once more, cause my heart is fixed, no longer torn.

if only i could say my dreams, then i would call & say believe!

i just need & want to say your name, i adore so much, i’m quite insane!

~ a beautiful dream about a beautiful girl 🙂

(c) ed simkins

nine minutes alone

one last attempt & i shake my head.

my hand transfixed by the beauty of her neck.

it would not move.

her neck was warm, her lips moist and red and brightly shone.

i wished to kiss.

the pause before i escape will be long for i cannot get past her beauty.

But shall I kill or let her sleep?

*I love her*

but then I’ve written that on her walls.

Yet beats of blood splash through her veins. a tear upon her eye.

She sleeps but i guess she knows. She has been here many times before.

i long for her. but i cannot. I must not.

A brightly lit room.

but key in downstairs hall makes me scared. SHE is home & a dream must die.

Or i.

…Or i.

her flaxen hair swirls across the pillows white and her naked body escapes under crumpled clothes.

do you suppose that death should take the virgin fire and encapsulate it in my memory?

With walls of red and a loin that hurts, i know this girl will sleep and gently talk.

for i am God and god does well.

He covets and spies and seeks his pleasure, but yet, see him leave!

& know that angel rests in weary sleep, with weary dreams and weary thoughts.

i leave a kiss. planted on her soft pristine forehead. & I must run.

I must act unwell. I must act the role! the one that says that I am ghost.

& i let her sleep.

& i know that you cannot speak.

(c) Ed Simkins

~ I have no idea! I closed my eyes & this is what I saw!

Death in The Snow

I was scared that time would drive her away, this ghost i met on snow filled day

a challenge drawn between two friends, a distant smile that seemed to end

i called her name, reply not made, seems death had brought it’s famous grave

to bury any stint of love, by destruction, pull and fatal shove

when others entered & spread their lies, i knew that person’s friendship ties

were stronger and deeper than any fact; a web of hatred across my tract

for when approach was lonely done, no sight revealed the golden sun,

and so that girl with dreams and fears, retracted footsteps and stalked with spears

her eyes did burn and her mouth turned sour, alone i was in that mortal hour

the final pain began to flow, when laughing witch did cackle so

she saw her power, she knew the scent, of a fear induced where love was meant

she pointed at wondered beast that roared, and smiled in solemn victory of course

that fake princess, her silken whip, her deceit revealed from bum to lip

my fault of course, i turned to see, those salacious curves of destiny

but fate is cruel, my death was known & God’s fixed hatred a long time sown

& so i lie in falling white, a bitter end in frozen night

i cry no more for my end is here, the perk of this no final tear

a huddled lump, i lie in snow, a buried fool for you to know.

(c) Ed Simkins

God & I Beside the Sea

Blue day talks and asks of ship & beckons man to enter it.

to set afloat and sail the seas and take a challenge from defeat

but as boat sails and storms occur, the old man whispers, with God confers,

“What do i do? How do i survive? How the hell do i escape this hardship alive?”

& God replied and laughed and thought, considered this & then he taught

“Life’s storms are many, each day you’ll die, but life’s adventure is the reason why

you’ll find yourself in oceans blue, freezing, crying & quite scared too.”

Man looked up from shoreline rocks and shivered twice, as coldness knocked

“God, you gave me peace, you gave me land, throughout today you lent a hand,

so why when fear engulfed me whole, did you destroy my strength and soul?

You made me break, my ship collapsed, i cried out in horror & pained relapse.

Why send me back to hated times, that i repose in horrid rhymes?

Dear God, your ocean waves crashed down & wrecked my face in frightened frowns

Why I ask? Why despise? What purpose broken with blackened skies?”

“You see,” said God, who sat beside, “the reason that i made you cry

was just to check your progress made, to see you fight outside your cave,

to see that you have grown somewhat, & that sea or Black Dog leads you not

into fatal flight or hidden fright, and make you know that of tonight

a new year starts and adventures begin, that you will suffer, but that you will win

I’ll throw wolves and cliffs and biting kids, just to make you know that you should live

a life unknown, but not of fear, that you should enjoy the darkness

& the clear.”

(c) Ed Simkins

Tears into the Blood

Frightened sweat drips down. Her beautiful face smiles. Our Blood surrounds.

It’s a simple late night story. One of hate, of love, of you.

we sit in pools of red. our love spent. the fury gone. the knives retired. i love. you love you.

your kiss is sacred. smooth. gentle. soft. a delicate petal which shocks my lips. i need you!

we sit. arched backs redundant. filled with fear, spent with lust. desire burns you see. it screams!

can you see the tear i have from you? can i kiss the cheek you turn away?

how can i ache from the love that you give? or hate from the passion which you deny?

i don’t understand! & the blood runs thin.  droplets slow; the perfect form. pain.

the last kiss is beautiful. slow, moist lips, tenderly press. a smile forms. a sigh begins. our hands hold on. press against the naked flesh. deep breath attracts & the world stands back and looks.

the curve of your breasts, so sweet and firm. the shoulder you cry on, worn and true.

but you broke first. your tears told lies.

please let me kiss you again. i want to retake that dream. rebuild it and stand up!

god, please let us love. let us hold on.

let us!

LET US!.

but we sit there. our shame and our decay. our hopes broken. the walls deaf to our pleas. our home silent to the pain that flows through our blood to the floor. & we are stuck.

let me kiss you.

let me taste your tears.

please, come closer and hold me! & see that our strength is still here..

but just let me kiss you!

& place your hand in mine.

Please.

I love you.

(c) Ed Simkins