Escape From Understandable Stupidity

i lie.

i cheat.

i hate. & i kill.

but these things that i do, are but dreams in my head.

it’s a simple device.

i speak my mind. but often i sit here, cross-legged in my cave.

& i’m jealous & i loathe, i despise & i fear.

these things i now share with you.

& i dream of death & i love to hate. I bitch & i whinge and i spread no joy.

but these things are kept within a splendid realm. a frenzied sense of sensibility.

& then i look down.

& i see the flowers on my floor. pictures of beautiful girls who smile. bodies that lust & ideals that i trust.

& i’d love to share a smile!

i worship no god, my taxes are paid & my days are filled with children and chaos.

i seek to engage. i seek to create. i seek a new wife. i seek my own god. i seek & i learn.

my mistakes are my own. my hate is my own.

but all these things balance. the hate. the love.

& i have yet to kill.

i hate stupid ideas. i hate bureaucracy. i hate people in power who limit my life.

& so with a daily smile i complain. i complain to you. & i would kiss you. i might hate you!

but i have yet to kill.

i live within my cave.  i live within my means. i am my own god & i am my own mistakes.

but i do not kill.

the world is full of the likes of me; simple, innocent fools. people who dream.

& we do not kill.

we share our hate & argue our points. we spit our venom and sulk in papers.

but we let each other grow old.

so let me throw these petals of beauty at you & tell you that i want change. that i trust no-one with power. no man of guns, no man of money, no man of support.

let me throw my words at you & see how you cope!

resist me with intellect & respect I will give. love i will grow. & with slow frustrated acceptance will i begrudgingly grant the terms that you seek.

but i will not kill.

is this a message you could understand?

(c) Ed Simkins

Sexual Deliberations

Dear Reader, Dear you, I have an urgent dilemma for you to review:

Would you turn to the stranger with whom you’ve just spent a pound, would you then grab them tightly and lead them around?

Or would you play it by ear and question them a lot? Or would you just give up and run from the shop?

You see, I’ve asked you because you’re an intelligent being, one who cries and laughs and thinks and believes,

But tell me the truth & tell me no lies, & don’t mock me reader or just criticise.

You see I like you & you should witness me now, for I liked that girl a lot but she couldn’t tell how!

So should I have taken my hands up in rage, and thrown her in triumph like a war to be waged

And beaten her senseless though she did me no wrong, just smiled so sweetly and, you know, led me along!

I’m telling you now, because i know very well, that in this land of the blog…i know you won’t tell!

So now reconsider this problem in strife, when my girlfriend behind me passed me her knife.

It was a strange moment for me, for which one do i kiss? The sweet girl on the floor or my original bliss.

Now let me remind you of the girl who began, and then answer me smartly, that’s if you think you can.

My girl from the gym who came shopping with me, all naked and humble and cute as can be

When she told me to hold her i fell for the trap, & in lovemaking she rode me and left blood on my back!

But when she saw that another had taken my eye, whose fault was it now that my fist i let fly

For under her yoke and under her steel, it felt so good to be loved, if only to feel

it just for a moment, and between two fine people, Dear Reader, I ask you, I implore you, am I really a weasel?

& yes I may jest but it’s you that I trust, so tell me Dear Reader, tell me you must!

When I wake in the morning and I find both girls beside, who’d be the happiest & who most surprised?

The strong girl who controls me and tells me my thoughts, or the princess i met and whose eyes I just caught?

You see Dear Reader, I ask you once more, for which of the three of us is really the whore?