Bottles of Love

I kissed her.
Took my lips and placed them on the red rivers of this perfect child.
& Kissed her.

Stroked her golden skin
& kissed her.

Smiling between bouts of illusion
I twisted her locks between my joyful fingers
& kissed her.

Yes, I am drunk.
Intoxicated with the belief that I am god and she my princess.

I ripped her clothes.
A mean jest to touch her silken skin.
Stroked her.
Made her gasp.
Made me smile.

Her eyes questioned my reality.
I leaned in and kissed her once more.
She was mine and I could not let her go.
Would not let her go.

She stood there naked.
Smiling confused and gasping.

I held her close.
Simple things were spoken by the confused one.
But I loved her.
& still I do.

I lay her down to rest & fell asleep with her deep within my arms.
My girl is everything to me.
& I am still drunk with her desire.
I love her & I know I always will.

– nights of longing without her
© ed simkins 2017

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Her picture.

Undress my princess
Her inviting smile beckons my lust
Crimson lips
Eyes of simple trust.

Her heart controls me
Connections made in silent stands
Childish fantasies insane
Eternal desires of man.

Beauty bedevils the rights of hope
Pleasure seeks its hidden touch
Wanting smooth love alone
Or dreaming of shared lives, a want too much.

I tilt my head
Kiss her soft & slow
Stroking naked tender flesh
So no-one else will know.

Love, desire & an urgent sense of hunger
Brings her close in many ways of wonder
Foolish, imperfection throws happiness a bone
& bears poor witness in tears to the path he’s sown.

But guarded secrets tell of love he holds for her
& hopes to strip her down & extenuate her groans
Daily thread bare logic persists & warps
These strong desires inside to hear her moan.

Love or lust he can not tell
But face of angel beckons more
& daily fantasy behind these eyes
Illusions on her flesh he’ll draw.

6 Hours Around Her.

I kiss her.
In every moment
In every sight
In every thought I share with her
I kiss her.

But I can not tell or say or intimate.
I am mute to her friendship
I am mute to my fate.
Mute to the needs of having her around.
I’ve fallen for the perfect one.

She stands there A.M & the day begins
Conversation held & soft skin touched & cool.
She giggles as the story of her night unfolds
& I am hers completely.
The crowd surrounds but knows no the truth of us.

Break in work & she’s through to help.
She stands beside & teases me
She smiles & laughs & her words they pour.
Her perfect ways surround me now
& my bubble exists because of her.

But Manager storms on through with grim clouds grey
Rain storms fall & drown my joy.
Doors are locked & now she is gone
Emptiness completes the distraught scene.
Marooned alone I’m dying.

I see the future, kiss & taste the silence.
There’s no fun, no joy, no screaming madness.
Her world has gone, I’m broken down.
Tears & words of anger mount
& all the raged fists I hold crash against that deserted beach.

Yet as the beacon slowly burns, she’s seen, a ship ahoy.
I’m dancing, I’m yelling, I’m crying out her name.
She sees & runs & we hold on tight
I’m loving her touch, her perfect smile.
I’m lost to her, the perfect one.

– when she comes and goes like she did today I’m a loon!
© ed simkins 2016

My girl

There she is.
My sweet heart,
My dear sweet, blissful seducer of my heart.

I am vanquished.
& I have hardly begun.
I love her.
& once again I hold the thought behind these sealed lips.

I held her today.
I held her dear and close and felt her beating heart.
& she smiled.
& she teased me something rotten & I laughed.

Her warm soothing laugh floated through the air.
Her eyes entrap me. I cannot break away.
But I write no poems of joy.
Just the truth of a broken man.

She touched me with her innocence.
& led me through the garden of want.
I have but kissed her a thousand times
& torn my heart out in self control.

There she is my stolen love.
My sweet, sweet fragrant rose, my dream.
My dear sweet, blissful smiling seducer of my heart.

– ed simkins © 2016

Perfection.

These stupid smiles of man are brought about my love.
Or fancy.
Or joyous rebirth.
Or the dreams of futility which reach around her naked skin.

She smiles.
Oh god she smiles & I bow upon the floor of hope to her & pray.
Pray that days will never end & moments shared in bliss will forever stay.
I seek her.
I love her.

The fool has tripped and plunged deep into hopeless desire of whimsy and earnest want.
He cries in smiles.
Cries in jest upon the mirror which speaks of loss and future death.
Of endings.

But in present circumstance & desperate passion, this red lust for her burns & flames.
Behind this eyes she is naked and close and speaking in the words of love.
She pleases me. Her eyes entrap and I am her hers.
Completely.

A story has begin which ends but yet in gloom & sorrow.
But yet today will light the world in glee and bliss and sought wonder.
She teases me.
She smiles and I die.

This angel stands before and dreams caress her perfect pale skin.
I am lost to the beauty of her face.
Those happy lips.
I am trapped.
& I love her.

– The fool © 2016

The Game of Hate

Her murderous hand swam with blood
Husband’s brain mangled now
Nights scream echoes loud
Spattered rain fills the room.

Jury laughed and sent her down
Sixteen years for swollen dreams
Hunted prisons & tortured wives
Empty lives swallowed whole.

The night he died he said he loved
He praised the lord & pushed her down
Unzipped his pants & unbuckled belt
Broke her jaw in fists of rage

Her children cried and ran away
Council homes, forgotten lives
Streets alone & broken glass
Feral thoughts, their name unknown

She fell to floor & hit her head
Volcanic pain which flashed on through
Screamed & charged & mist of red
Husband downed with statue new

She sits around in broken home
The silence of the tv on
Numbed, destroyed she carries on
Blood which trickles & clots her mind

~ what’s right or wrong I do not know.
© ed simkins

Words Not told for you.

Allow death to ramble through your mind as she waits for sleep. Bring the poison closer & sink deeply into the pillows of your mind. Kisses exist no longer as the wound she leaves vents & stings.
Dreams end in failed toxic concoctions. Music no longer lifts but soils the white sheets you rest upon. The fun you had has disappeared within the swirling smoke of thought. I hate me.

Tired, tepid, late night lovers hold onto to strangles made in the cacophony of lust. Their sweat merged in pools of love upon the bed beside you. crawl down to the ends of time & bury your face from such torment. I’m sure love will grow again once more, though where & when & for whom I shall not know. Apologise & play the killer song again. Taste it.

Cold capsized my mind tonight. 2:17 and the world of dogs & hidden trees of fate hide themselves in shades of morning earth. I’m calling you because I’m lost. So lost. Can you aid or bathe the wounds with which I find? I’m aching for an escape from the monsters within my mind, for none will leave no matter how far I run..

& the silence is loud. I’m hurting. My eyes burn with revulsion & the mirrors with which I once showed the female race the beauty of their god is now redundant in dust & cracked shards of memory. I’m no longer what I used to be. Child is dead. The body rots. The mind is veiled & the thoughts echo to the bells of ageing pain.

Only the knife in my head remains as my friend. Her crimson tide kisses my skin & pours it’s scorn upon my time. I’m hurting bad, but soon this world will close it’s lips & laugh at me no more. Soon I will need no more remembrance of the deeds of god. Of when I was king & ruled this hallowed land. I whisper goodbye.

& feel my river red ebb. Pulsate & flow.

Tears merge with blood & the night consumes.
Eats me whole.

I’m sorry.

~ now 02:46 & the night is long & endless.
© ed simkins 2015

The last song

Death is an echo of the dreams I once had
Emptied in fashions which came in a fad
Chains of disaster curve round my soul
Taking me deeper, lost in the ground.
A world full of darkness eats at my mind
Beauty of innocent spent on the child
Corruption of my fate leading to death
& Sold to the fortune I spoke with my breath.

Crimson was the colour of the dream I begun
Earning from poverty another new sun
Woke up & dreamt, cried & I yearn
Fueling the imagination, sinew to burn
Caring little for nothing & dreaming of my fear
Wishing you were lovely, hoping you were near.
You called out my name & I took you backstage
Thrashed out my anger & i hit you with rage
I cried in your pockets & tore up your dress
& spat out my fury in a need to impress.

I lie in my own filth, broken, forlorn
Needles & injections, battered & torn
Who’d have thought life which I once happily loved
Would kill all of Europe & find it all stuffed.
I wanted to kiss you, I wanted to tease
I wanted to love you, I wanted to please
But you hated my words & you threatened my life
All because of my heat & your own mental strife.

Habits are repetitive, they burden & they kill,
Seemed I could not take you, or bend you to my will
Stairs were a danger & I threw you straight down
& I laughed so sincerely, with the blood on your crown
Relationships end, & you hated me so
But I loved you my woman, though you never seemed to know.
Frustration’s volcanic, it eats & it burns
& each night you kept silent, I longed & I yearned
I want you beside me, I want your sweet smile
& I would kill everything, if only for a while

But dreams they are a-failing & I’m lost in my way
& I’ll wake up without you, yet another grey day
The glass on the stair well, the shit on the street
& the business I go to, which leaves stains on my feet
My heart it is broken, cause love never wins
& I’m guilty of loving, it’s a fortune of sin.

~ a bad night of regret & longing
(c) ed simkins

In the silence inbetween.

Dreams kill & ache & bleed & cry in rooms of silence, dark in tone.
I love you. A repeated phrase which you say remains unknown.
– It is to you.

A sparkling dress of want flutters like candle dust around your skin & the light blinks out.
You’re gone.
But I picture you there.
– Your smile which kills.
A web of deceit, or the lust of youth?
Or that fools tear themselves in dreams I fear & I hate?
For loss is great!
For even for a night, a night in which so much was gained & the flesh which surrounds you dances & burns,
Teases & forces gyrations of desire from a friend who adores
& falls gently away.
Or was that just you?
& another nights gone.

But now in soft light with whiskey & gin & a light which frustrates.
& A mind which lurks
& Seeks
Begs for you.
Says that I love you.
& I love you!

Theses hypnotic chants & screamed repetitions filter the pain,
For there’s torture in knowing you.
For this grief in desire.
Of want.
Of love.
For you.

So come to my arms my love.
Rest gently deep within them.
& Tell me your secrets tonight.
Let me bask in your glory.

Oh, I recognise your escape. I know of desire.
I know of your world, of your beautiful chances.
But allow me to love you & I’d grant you the stars
I’d make you a princess
I’d make you my queen!

But let love flow around you.
& let it be mine.

~ Her silence is torture
© ed simkins

Her Picture Equals

Poison taken
Heart forsaken
Dreams alight
In a Night of fright
Hate enlivened
Dreams surviving
Body dying
My Eyes are crying
Beauty stolen
Days just roll on
Purpose far gone
Trapped by fusion
Mess of hoping
Drunk or doping
Bed in darkness
Brain a right mess
Taste of kissing
Love still missing
Anger, hatred
Life once sacred
Passion broken
Angel long gone
Stupid bum note
Romance; bad joke
Dead wife bleeding
No way healing
Grievance hostile
Pain not docile
Pointless sleeping
Empty weeping
Slow down breathing
Wrist is weeping
Blood is leaving
Tears are streaming
Eyes a-staring
Mind past caring.

~ up. Down. Up. Down. Life remains. As others laugh.
© ed simkins