Silence In Longing.

Her shadow ran to me today.
An air of delight upon her youthful face appealed to my loneliness.
I longed to kiss her but the air felt damp as the morning mist fell down.

Illusions danced upon the retinas of my eyes
She flicked her hair & caused my heart to stir
My eyes leaked a hopeless tear.

Emptiness struck the barren ground with fear.
With dark dungeons of longing I stood alone.
The air was silent & cold.

Always tomorrow I pleaded. The clouds rolling by agreed.
They sensed my loss.
They begged for hope.

Maybe she’ll be there. Maybe.
& I’ll see her turn the corner & my face will light with a thousand fires of desire
& the happiness of a boy in love for the very first time.

She’ll smile in bright anticipation & beautiful recognition.
& the world will find its song & the sun will shine once more in urgent clichéd sweet affection.
& I will smile.

– unwell, my love remained unseen today.
© ed simkins 2016

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As I sit by my window

I wonder if life knows of itself
If its able to scream with joy or sing in love.
I wonder if children know of the pain
Of growing old and seeing death smile.

I look around my home and see the stories of the past
The tales of the fights, the glory of the hugs
The tickles, the dreams, the shadows, the lies
& all those corners of secret veiled winks & nods.

I jest now. I’m pondering too much.
I sat here reflecting before I run naked into the garden of life.
& it scares me, there’s much to be suffered.
The thoughts & deeds of those who hate & bleed.

I wonder if life sits in the flowers, the red & the yellow
The bluebells, the snowdrops, the pansies, the clover
I wonder if the forest of life would welcome a new child still
Innocent as the day I was born ten thousand years ago.

& still. Still I dream.
Of holding her, goddess of smiles,
Just sitting there, basking in the sunlight
Admiring the beauty of a face so fine.

Maybe I’m in love, but just with the dream.
Maybe I’m fed up of the fallacy of truth.
Maybe I want to kiss and caress the cheek of youth
But I know the pain & truth of chasing hope.

I wonder if life will love itself one day
Make love to each human, each creature in the sea
Give a chance of success to the hearts of each being
& set nature back on it’s course of true wonder.

~ just waking up & looking out over life
© ed Simkins

An Evening Thought To You

Allow the grey slumber of silence to draw you in.
Dreams of purple velvet cover you in thoughts.
Stillness cries but debate on moon
For love & sex & stolen lies.

I’m lost with you
A crazed secret adventure of the mind.
In the mind.
Where no-one sees but the perils of you & I.

My mind is flying, you release the hook
Balloons of freedom escape into open sky.
You hold the hugs that I enjoy
Summer colours fill the air with love.

Illusion told to me of fatal death
I wish to hide beneath this water flow.
I look at you & dream & fantasise of thee
Angel’s skin, allured, warm.

I care for nothing, I hold no chemistry of love
I give no deeds or more than smiles worn.
I cry in sleep for painful past
Where bride who died now drinks the earth.

I seek a passion lost & worse
Though rainbows only know of secret cave.
You, a hidden gem outside
Face unknown in a world of souls.

Perhaps you exist, though I’m not sure how
As evening trees sing the shadow dark.
I question god for you my friend
But his silence holds my tongue to wait.

Dreams! So many dreams have I held
That time will die before I find the one.
Creature of a certain age & fine position
I doubt no more persists in love.

I sleep once more in room of dusk
Where scarlet blankets hold on me
Breathing dark & shallow mist
I create this world for you my love.

If ever that I met you then or soon
My heart will flow with joy & talk
& lover’s night shall nightly be
A place where I’ll reside with thee.

~ a hopeful whim, a musing ode, a broken dream repeats.
© ed simkins

Between Work & Play

cold dark days & headaches form,

brilliant lights explode in mind.

I’m off to war in but a moment,

where dogs and cats will be left behind.

dreams will run or skip and make me smile,

though shadows form in veiled mask!

repetitions blown from the four winds of time,

i sit here frozen, though happy, relaxed.

i could tell you a story of the famous girl,

but i know that tonight you may not care.

My vice is my own and the thoughts are known.

so i’ll just pop upstairs and change for war.

old man clothes, blazer, shirt,

black tie and watch, his pockets clean.

these garbs i’ll drop and out i go,

escape the ritual of a Friday sleep.

all in order to impress the world,

or perhaps i’d say, to make me feel

a slight sense of some human worth,

or if all goes well, the world will smile

& the day will be won, alongside the battle.

for the library’s clean, the kids sent home,

weekend is free and the dreams begin.

who knows what fantasies will blow this mind,

& tease our eyes with skin and heat!

Good night, good night, farewell & night!

~ Friday night & I’m shattered, but free!

(c) Ed Simkins

to you my secret fantasy

perfection & simple beauty.

i love you.

words that flow and cover me in delight. i seek to hold you.

i seek to kiss. to taste your love in a single chance.

would i dare?

should i?

i have fallen for you! & my mind’s eye sees you smile in it’s nightly dreams.

your beauteous form excites me and the irrelevance of the moment is but an agony away,

i would die in the moment that we touch. our eyes locked. eyes suggesting. eyes talking.

i love you.

are you aware of the passion that forms and flows and bubbles through the air in which we speak?

& how do you feel when i make you laugh or when i hold your pretty little hand?

Let me tell you that my hands are desperate to cup your face

to follow the gentle contours of your skin.

i don’t care that no-one listens, but let me know you feel this craze when we smile.

When WE smile

Together.

come sit beside me and let us talk. let us chat and let us laugh.

let us build our bubble when the world forgets. when we can be alone.

let me tell of you the sixteen billion things about you that i love.

that i adore.

if only you were here now.

then you would know of the magic i hold for you.

of the world that i would present in all its splendour and all its ways.

and gather roses of such wondrous brilliance that you would think that love exists.

& it does.

for you.

so allow this tender kiss to touch those lips. & let me see you smile once more.

for i cannot escape the knowledge of your being. or of the longing for you that builds up within.

i love you.

(c) Ed Simkins

~ can’t get you out of my mind. and honestly, i don’t want to!

Aphrodite in Bed

God is a creature who sleeps in my bed, who rests and talks and fucks with my head!

She is a princess, a dream to behold, a mixture of love and of fate you’ll be told

You can laugh and you can ask & you question her style, but look at her naked & you’ll be there for a while!

Her skin is a candle which glows and entraps, a living writhing collection of sensual maps

Ones which speak and point and show, to parks of amusement – a place i must go

With time close beside her, her body will i hold, & as a blanket around, my arms will i fold

& those smiles i possess are her medals of gold, teasing me softly like fires in the cold

With her red hair alight and her young teasing eyes, how i adore the delights of her delicate size

Yet as God to my world does she make me prostrate, & with hunger & violence she aims to frustrate

For as God is to you – a story that’s grown, so she unto me is a fable i’ve sown

A dream in my head & a fatal desire, this fleshpot of love with a fearsome fire

& there in my bed, God sits and she plans, while I kneel down beside her & place love in her hand.

She smiles & she laughs & she giggles aloud, & tells me repeatedly, how much she is proud

& with a final strong desire & a warm giddy heart, we close in together & allow the kisses to start..

🙂

(c) Ed Simkins

a DeViLiSh DeSiRe!

It’s tempting to kiss her. but how much would you laugh if i did?

How much would the world scream and shout and break my bones?

How much would i enjoy it? & with that. I smile.

You see delusions are fun. Devilish. Exciting.

& Around her i’m nervous; I stutter. & the dreams I’d like to get across skim and crash upon the floor like crazed Kamikazes shot down by the look in her eyes.

It doesn’t matter I guess. I wont kiss her. Not yet.

Maybe it’s too easy. Maybe she’d just say yes. Maybe she thinks the same & likes to tease and play and stroke with that delightful hair just to make me squirm. Maybe.

But i doubt it.

She smiles.

She laughs and she plays and she calls my name, though how much would she run if she knew of the devil?

Last night her sister kissed me. A slow delicate playful little mouth. A snake from my youth. That’s what i pondered as our tongues intertwined.

but i didn’t like her.

I mean she was sexy in a strange, unfathomable way…& that made her laugh. or maybe it was tears.

i never did see her again.

So now i peruse the face of the other one. THE one.

& she likes me. she tells me! i know.

– She skips and dances and fools around! & she sends me notes and wears that lipstick.

You know the one…

RED.

& I smile.

(c) Ed Simkins

God & I Beside the Sea

Blue day talks and asks of ship & beckons man to enter it.

to set afloat and sail the seas and take a challenge from defeat

but as boat sails and storms occur, the old man whispers, with God confers,

“What do i do? How do i survive? How the hell do i escape this hardship alive?”

& God replied and laughed and thought, considered this & then he taught

“Life’s storms are many, each day you’ll die, but life’s adventure is the reason why

you’ll find yourself in oceans blue, freezing, crying & quite scared too.”

Man looked up from shoreline rocks and shivered twice, as coldness knocked

“God, you gave me peace, you gave me land, throughout today you lent a hand,

so why when fear engulfed me whole, did you destroy my strength and soul?

You made me break, my ship collapsed, i cried out in horror & pained relapse.

Why send me back to hated times, that i repose in horrid rhymes?

Dear God, your ocean waves crashed down & wrecked my face in frightened frowns

Why I ask? Why despise? What purpose broken with blackened skies?”

“You see,” said God, who sat beside, “the reason that i made you cry

was just to check your progress made, to see you fight outside your cave,

to see that you have grown somewhat, & that sea or Black Dog leads you not

into fatal flight or hidden fright, and make you know that of tonight

a new year starts and adventures begin, that you will suffer, but that you will win

I’ll throw wolves and cliffs and biting kids, just to make you know that you should live

a life unknown, but not of fear, that you should enjoy the darkness

& the clear.”

(c) Ed Simkins

Breathe By Candlelight

inhale.

exhale.

smile with a beauty. a strange inflamed burden of desire.

but this is a passion. a heart filled with hope.

Buddhist contemplation. evening declaration. a resting from fire. at peace with the silence.

the cold air flows in & the spirit’s engaged.

escape from the madness, no fury enraged.

in the cave where i think, the thoughts fly away

& the calmness surrounds me & i’ve nothing to say.

no talk of her beauty, of her innocent face, no aim to escape, no mental race

in the winds of tomorrow my dreams will begin, as the hours of today narrow & thin

i watch you my friend & i watch you my girl, & i know of the pain that subsumes your world,

letters i leave & prayers i now send, for the anguish you carry to come to an end.

rest now beside me & with a soft recline, breathe in with me & ignore human time.

a night full of dreams & a day full of work, let go of the meaning, let go of the hurt.

once more with a kiss, once more full of hope, with a deep loving breath, know that you’ll cope.

inhale.

exhale.

love has just been.

(c) Ed Simkins

Seraph Begin

your naked fingers glide and laugh. i’m teased by the brilliance of your soft wet kisses.

& i smile. & i escape.

the madness that revolves around the world outside ceases at my door, as you stand there.

stripped of thought and body taut, you tease my face. & drunk and drugged, your disrobed love inflames my famished senses.

& i smile. & i grin. & i want you.

but people scream and strangers run & the street outside is set alight. & the war is fought by blooded barons and poisoned narcotic-filled fanatics.

but in here…oh, in here!

Within this shallow grave, against your feminine approach, i find my mind surrounded by your soothe sensual sex appeal & your raucous dominant desire.

& together, we smile.

your hands – strict silken gloves across my wanton skin,  my tired eyes bathe in your delicate affection.

the shouts of death and thuds of destruction fly past the broken window as we begin to love.

& your eyes sparkle & the moment engulfs us.

Standing close against my mortal frame, your electric eyes ensnare; studying, desiring, daring, taunting.

& our hungry hearts pound as our minds dream, scream & declare their youthful yearning.

the immediate beauty of the silence around us drowns us.

for when the world outside ignites, your naked body and graceful dreams immerse my fears in a blanket of lust & love and slow, compassionate embraces.

& i hunger for you.

Seraph begin.

(c) Ed Simkins