Longing

Intensive loving of the soul
Hers
Mine
Dreams flowing like the water spilling through the air.

A cold morning mist surrounds and kisses her gentle skin.
I’m terrified of losing her.
The sacred one.
The special one.

I’ve touched her in so many ways
& listened when her gentle shakes tickled my bones below
Set fire to the fuel inside this mind
My love exudes in stolen spillage.

I held her close & tortured her sacred youth
Dreams filled with passion & the longing of the night
I cry behind her
Tears swelling in the poison which I retain for her.

I’m trapped by this love
Unknown by this love
Fenced in and chained
A secret swept behind the prison door.

(c) ed simkins 2017

Her picture.

Undress my princess
Her inviting smile beckons my lust
Crimson lips
Eyes of simple trust.

Her heart controls me
Connections made in silent stands
Childish fantasies insane
Eternal desires of man.

Beauty bedevils the rights of hope
Pleasure seeks its hidden touch
Wanting smooth love alone
Or dreaming of shared lives, a want too much.

I tilt my head
Kiss her soft & slow
Stroking naked tender flesh
So no-one else will know.

Love, desire & an urgent sense of hunger
Brings her close in many ways of wonder
Foolish, imperfection throws happiness a bone
& bears poor witness in tears to the path he’s sown.

But guarded secrets tell of love he holds for her
& hopes to strip her down & extenuate her groans
Daily thread bare logic persists & warps
These strong desires inside to hear her moan.

Love or lust he can not tell
But face of angel beckons more
& daily fantasy behind these eyes
Illusions on her flesh he’ll draw.

thoughts without flow

it was never sex that i wanted
but then i’m a liar
& devious
& such an actor.

i’d hold her close and caress that cute ass dream
glide my fingers along the paths of fantasy
tickle her sides and make her grin a thousand smiles
and all because i want her so!

she talks and giggles and says the silliest things
girls like this are gems on earth
i smile at her and watch her mannerisms turn me on
i love her so, i adore her so!

See when she dances in her rhythmic walk
she sits besides and brushes up against
i stroke her back and nip and pull
and all because i love her so. i smile.

i’d kiss her with every breath i have,
wake up beside, pull her close and kiss her more
walk my fingers along her curves
and tease the angel which i love so much.

i want to bite, i want to love
i want to see her smile and jump on me
i want to swirl her round and make her feel like God
Perfection glistens in eyes so sweet

and i sit here quietly
and tell the world i love this girl.

(c) ed simkins
2016

Frustration

I’m losing my mind.
Trapped with these walls of stone.
Lost within a world in which I have no say.
No control.
No way to do the things I wish to do.
Or bring her close.

& there she is,
Fate herself.
The perfect one.
Naked.

That smile.
That face.
That body.
All within my mind.

I’m lost.

I cross the lines of sanity when I’m with her.
I laugh & joke & play & tease & freedom shows no knowing concern.

& then I’m here.
Here within my cell of life .
& I’m obsessed.
Addicted.
Forced to be without her.

Life is cruel.
Life is bland.
Life…is the rocks beneath this cliff upon which I stand…
Without her.

I bow my head to fate.
I know my role.
My curtailed situation.
I know I dream.
I know I love.

The day it ends is always a day too soon.
& another lonely day folds without her.

– the weekend.
© ed simkins 2016

From These Eyes Of Desire

Her naked body lies secretly beneath her warm & frustratingly closed & layered garments.
I bite her waist.
I stand before her & tell her, ask her, of the world which surrounds.
I slide my fingers carefully across her tender skin.
She is smiling & ignorant.
Or thoughtful & caring & in love.

I pull her forth.
Firm hands grasping at her waist. She laughs.
Vixen or innocent in her scarlet robes.
I love the colour red.

Her perfect chest invites me.
Kisses of desire stretch across her Saharan desert.
A rain of lust dashing along her dunes.
We laugh.
& giggle. & her ecstasy & innocence confirm my want.

I pull her closer.
A perfect cheek caressed & fitting into each of my hands.
I love this girl.
I love her smile.
Her encouragement of me.
I detest my weakness.
But love & lust buckle & squirm & I want to fuck this girl.
I’m hers.
& her perfectly buttoned clothes resist my thoughts.

I cup her face & smile.
I want to grab her hair & make her mine.
Submit.
But I let her go.
We love each other but the world is watching.
& the world is a master so cruel.

We hug & wave goodbye.
For Love is not of this world it seems.

– I want her
© ed simkins 2016

6 Hours Around Her.

I kiss her.
In every moment
In every sight
In every thought I share with her
I kiss her.

But I can not tell or say or intimate.
I am mute to her friendship
I am mute to my fate.
Mute to the needs of having her around.
I’ve fallen for the perfect one.

She stands there A.M & the day begins
Conversation held & soft skin touched & cool.
She giggles as the story of her night unfolds
& I am hers completely.
The crowd surrounds but knows no the truth of us.

Break in work & she’s through to help.
She stands beside & teases me
She smiles & laughs & her words they pour.
Her perfect ways surround me now
& my bubble exists because of her.

But Manager storms on through with grim clouds grey
Rain storms fall & drown my joy.
Doors are locked & now she is gone
Emptiness completes the distraught scene.
Marooned alone I’m dying.

I see the future, kiss & taste the silence.
There’s no fun, no joy, no screaming madness.
Her world has gone, I’m broken down.
Tears & words of anger mount
& all the raged fists I hold crash against that deserted beach.

Yet as the beacon slowly burns, she’s seen, a ship ahoy.
I’m dancing, I’m yelling, I’m crying out her name.
She sees & runs & we hold on tight
I’m loving her touch, her perfect smile.
I’m lost to her, the perfect one.

– when she comes and goes like she did today I’m a loon!
© ed simkins 2016

Consumed

God cares no more for the tears of a foolish man.

One who loves & wants & seeks & knows the child, the girl, the angel of his heart who lies before him in naked pose…

 

But dies.

 

For God, if man believed in such, knows nothing but how to hurt & cut & tear & destroy crippled man’s world.

He knows how to paint the dreams I have so black.

 

…Black!

 

This tortured epiphany of death, the cloud of time which takes all & leaves uncharted & unknown

Leaves me silent.

With hate for the dreams & hopes & eternal longing of broken men.

As such I am.

 

I kneel beside this naked corpse of my lover’s fine & youthful virgin land.

Beauty wrapped in golden silk & luscious white skin of tender age.

I love her.

Oh how I love her!

In death as in life I love her & no more will lips of joy be warm to touch

Or soft  nestling of her childlike chin breath happiness into finger tips which seek for her.

 

Hence I close my eyes.

& Tears dawdle upon my angered face.

Collective streams of memories flood my mind

& I hold her hand.

Cold & still.

 

Pain engulfed by pain rides through these veins of want.

 

I see no point

No purpose

No future morning sun without her.

 

I take the cut slowly.

 

Fingers of red rivers roll across my wrist.

 

Life subsides into forgotten dreams.

I lie beside her & cry.

I hold onto her.

 

Silence fills the world with stillness

& the leaves on autumn trees outside fall & wave goodbye.

 

 

© ed simkins

– life without her?

Unknown Recluse

I am lonely but for the candle which burns before me.

My eyes tortured by the sight I drank of her this day.

Sweet & young & faithful,

Crimson flirt & thoughtful words.

 

I am sick for needing her.

For urging fate to somehow twist & bring her forth to my world of darkness this long & lonely night.

 

I am empty.

Numb.

Alone.

 

Her golden smile shatters worlds of desperate pain & feeds the world with love & joy & abandoned giddy smiles.

My angel!

My perfect, pretty smiling friend!

 

I am dying for the love of you!

That I could hold & dance & swirl with you!

That I could seek your lips upon these forgotten keepers of my words.

These gates which do imprison me.

 

I love you…

There! I nearly said your name!

& the world would know!

 

But I love you & my hands will hold you secret love,

Tomorrow in the kindness of the day.

& words will I stutter & speak & jestfully declare

That no girl makes the world so fair.

 

Or breaks my heart through longing for you!

 

For you!

 

& tears shed in wanton, frustrated fashion from these tired eyes.

 

I love you…

& I scream your name in calling you!

In wanting you!

In loving you!

 

– anguish.

© ed simkins 2016

Missing Her

Midnight.

Land of seclusion.

Eroding memories.

Worlds of delusion.

 

I love this dream.

She sings to me in beauty.

Starlight fantasy

Forbidden cutie.

 

Dying in the depth of silence

Sensual thoughts swirl over her.

Trapped by passion held in wanton heart

Mystic candle burns & blurs.

 

I hear the tide of death arrive

Slowly whispering as it approaches.

taking hand of lovers wrist

biting hard on heart as he encroaches.

 

She, my love, my heart, my cherished grief

Smiling with the stars outside

Leaving me & stolen

Not knowing how much I tried.

 

I love this creature, this ephemeral girl

With drops of crystal, tears a-fall

I see my fate, I see my death,

Heartache in stoned on my last breath.

 

As the candle burns & I seek solace

I bow my head & lie

Tell her deeply, tell her truth

That I’ll love her well, til our last goodbye.

 

 

– I’m too engrossed by her.

© ed simkins 2016

Reflections

I love standing behind her.

Holding her close.

The simple pleasure of her pressing against me.

Excites me.

A secret flirtation of desires.

I love my games.

 

I love her face too.

Her gentle, perfect, delicious young face & that smile…

That sweet smile of sunshine serenity.

For she loves me.

I love her.

& The world is wrong to hate this suggestion.

It’s just simply wrong.

 

I hold her by desire.

I pull at her clothes.

I stroke her thighs.

I caress her lower back & talk.

She laughs & loves & aches to be besides.

I kiss her a thousand times & more.

I love her you see.

As stupid as I am.

I love her.

 

She comes to me.

She seeks me out.

I seek her.

Best friends forever.

But I want her clothes on the floor.

I want to kiss her every pore.

 

I breathe her in.

Feel the beat of her heart.

She’s fragile in my arms,

But I could pin her down.

& I want to wake besides her,

See her morning smiling sun & sigh.

 

I hold her waist & stroke her hair

& she says she knows she’s the queen of my heart.

I’m sunk in lust.

She talks of bites.

I talk of ‘where?’

 

I’m possessed by her.

Controlled by her.

Seduced by her.

Fed by her.

Kept by her.

& Simply put

– I love her.

 

 

(c) ed simkins 2016

– wanting her.