Lost in the Winter.

They don’t tell me your name; you’re just a fascination i hold.

– a dream i once held, one Christmas ago. A snowflake away.

You screamed and your tore my heart open

Left in it isles of the shops that I hate to walk through now.

Forced me to fall and cut my wrists; made the floor red with your hate.

You never saw my tears. Never felt my pain. Just called me a liar and then shut the door.

You never turned and saw the broken mirrors that you caused. The dreams you inspired and the stupidity you made.

Tonight was a long one. The images were real, though the strangers never knew. & the heart was still beating.

You laughed at me once. You tore out my voice and now I can’t see. Not that that matters to you.

It was a simple card that I sent. One to America. One to your house.

One to your fire.

& there you watched me burn. & you smiled.

& it was never the same again.

So you understand Miss America, why i may pause if I still wonder.

& pause in the isle. Like a fool that fell. Like a king disgraced.

Time never changes. It’s just exaggerates the pain.

Watch the snowflakes fall. & see them red.

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Passion In Asking

Time to write a thought & send it to the outside world

Pretend I’m listened to, pretend I’m heard.

But inside this little old cave, I’m freezing and I’m dying slow,

Not that anyone cares, not that they even know.

It seems to me that I should stand aside

& hope that darkness takes over, my own landside

One that crumbles my worries & dissipates my fears

But then that has never happened for all these years

You scream at me to tell the world what i really think

& yet i’m that ill, that i sway on death’s brink.

If you were a friend, would you hold me close?

If you were my father, would you top the dose?

& in my dreams, were you a love that I knew so well

Would you be the one to whom my secret I sell?