Fantasy Which Smiles.

I wish I could resist.
I wish I could just hold her back.
I wish I could tell her no. to go away.
But I’m me. Or human. Or weak.

& she lets me love her.

I see her & I’m desperate,
Desperate to own her.
To have her. To hold her. To caress her naked flesh.

& she smiles
& I shudder
& I follow like a chained demon.

She’s there
& I am hers til she say’s goodbye.

Yes, I’m out of control.
I cringe at my weakness.

But such beauty.
Such lips.
Such divine happiness.
How am I supposed to resist this avalanche of desire?

Oh, this world is cruel & uncaring in its jest & spiteful rules.
How can time erase all things good and banish the loved?

So in shades of darkness I plan my addiction.
In the mid-day star I will hold her close & love her well.

My Sweet angel, know that I love you for who you are.
For the smiles, the beauty and your perfect innocence.

As my wishes increase, so my longing does too.

Time brought us close.
& Time will destroy us.

– addicted to her completely.
© ed simkins 2016

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Perfection.

These stupid smiles of man are brought about my love.
Or fancy.
Or joyous rebirth.
Or the dreams of futility which reach around her naked skin.

She smiles.
Oh god she smiles & I bow upon the floor of hope to her & pray.
Pray that days will never end & moments shared in bliss will forever stay.
I seek her.
I love her.

The fool has tripped and plunged deep into hopeless desire of whimsy and earnest want.
He cries in smiles.
Cries in jest upon the mirror which speaks of loss and future death.
Of endings.

But in present circumstance & desperate passion, this red lust for her burns & flames.
Behind this eyes she is naked and close and speaking in the words of love.
She pleases me. Her eyes entrap and I am her hers.
Completely.

A story has begin which ends but yet in gloom & sorrow.
But yet today will light the world in glee and bliss and sought wonder.
She teases me.
She smiles and I die.

This angel stands before and dreams caress her perfect pale skin.
I am lost to the beauty of her face.
Those happy lips.
I am trapped.
& I love her.

– The fool © 2016

Temptress On Bed

The anti-Christ sits on her bed jealous and scared.
Her blood red hair fires thoughts of prehistoric passion
Gems align her dark in bedazzling arrays of love & lust.
She tells me how much she aches for deeds to be done, but motivation lacks within.

I rest cross legged before her, smiling and pondering on the meaning of life.
I came to her in the middle of the night & now it’s half past evening.
Thursday’s downpour continues at the entrance of the cave
I cleaned her room in fits of boredom, God had ventured too far away to beseech.

Her name is silent, for I can not tell you the secret of my desire, though she is beauty & I miss her when she’s not around.
She’s plucking at her nails & I’m lost in space.
Pictures of the past decorate her home.
My perfect match in many ways.

A vest of innocence drapes across her delicate chest, beads of hope lie delicately upon her bed of hate.
I kissed her once, in a land and dream far, far away. I was younger then.
But I returned.
For the stillness of my life request constant feeding.
I ache for her.

I’m hungry. & tired. & stolen. & lost. & I ponder how I can seduce her now.
But the anti-Christ doesn’t care. She gives no love.
All woman perhaps, with the beauty of her youth intact, but cruel.
Like every woman I’ve ever met. Dishonest & brutish in the realities of the day.

& so I sit estranged. My beautiful, delicious, fresh, young temptress bathed in red.
I hold her hand & I know my limitations. For this is as far as I go.
Blissful girl with braided locks destroys my heart & the whispers of the storm ride high & circle
I love her. But she does not know.

I want to taste her.

But she is now far away.

~ thoughts of the golden one turn to fate.
© ed simkins 2015

Dark Forest

Kiss her lips my friend.
Kiss them as darkness falls & the grey clouds shimmer.
Fear falls in lonesome forests known.

She cries that single tear which cuts through hearts of hope.
& I’m tired of sending lines which fail to form.
Her silence grinds against my wanton heart & sinks.

Memory of a girl I used to love in summer’s daze flitters through my restless mind.
& I burn my tongue in screams of teenage angst.
A dying man sits in weakened stance, broken bones collapse beneath the ageing wait.

I say her name.
I repeat & hear the howl of wolves within this wicked wood & cry.
How that love so true & strong can bend & break like a rusted chain?

& on this deep & dark & dampened floor of wild distress I shake in fear.
She walks away & leaves me dead, inert, no hope, forgotten breed.
& stars watch in questioned poise as love retreats.

Alone once more, a thought lost in the darkness of space & ocean deep.
Waves of grief rush through the frozen mist & sting my bones.
I loved her so, but love has left & aching senses echo with dull defeat.

~ missing her
© ed simkins 2015

Embers in the Dark

To the fiery dreams of youth which speak in rhymes and riddles posed.
I love you.
But a repetition of a lie is no more needed than words upon this page.
& I cry for you.

You speak to me in lines of silence & in that I hear no more than the destiny of truth.
Your smile provokes me.
Could you ever be more than a fantasy spread upon my broken mind?
I want you.

I kiss you, but our lips of fire never touch or pass. Restraint is poison for me.
I watch you walk.
& I see this heart of mine ache in foolish age for the bride I desire to leave.
& I watch you walk.

I give up. Though I am mesmerized by my addiction to you. A phallic suggestion in the cold moments of night.
I want to talk with you.
But I find the distance between us is great and stolen; I cannot reach through the dark for you.
I scream to you.

Final wishes trickle in warm blood for you and I find myself shaking with fear.
I’m losing you.
& thus the terror takes over, consumes and pulls me down, rapes my mind.
I’m in love with you.

~ the ending was always too close.
© Ed Simkins 2015

Fading

My heart is stuck & glued & bolted fast like planks upon the roof of my old house
Attached to you.

I write to you.

A buffoon of sixty-four & twenty-two, a guy, a girl & something true
all the thrills you give to me.
& far beyond the sacred tones of pleasantry
& dreams persist.

You take no stake in knowing that these eyes which look upon your naked face,
smiles & dreams & longs for you.
Believes in you.
Screams for you!

I, The man next door, or secret bore.
Or friend unknown or thoughtless count.
A rich man seen
In discarded time.

Girl, Stand before & let me show the world & all of you that I desire & wish & breathe & pause for you.

But you’re moving on.
& more I die.
A tear shed.
The broken cry.

Imagine that the world were books & I could speak my mind & look
Upon those lips which smile & eyes which shine in glee.
& stories bold would I tell to thee!
How much I love.

Or arms in those moments in which you freeze, would I gently squeeze & spark your heart, if I were just a happy part of the world you own.
Instead, bemoan.
& lonely aches echo across a silent page in lover’s rage.
For I want you girl. I always have.

& I see your face.
I worship you.
I’m in awe of you.
Besmitten & in need of you.

Your pretty face. Your luscious skin, Your cheeky eyes I wander in.
I smile & laugh & seek to kiss,
A slow, sweet teasing invitation miss
But love remains untold & secret desire will soon turn cold
For as winter flicks its deadly knife & takes you far away from life
I’ll slowly fade from thoughts you see & my eyes will lose their hope for thee.
But I bid you well,
That you should live
But not without this love I give.

~ i see her drifting further and further away & she doesn’t know of how much i care.
(c) Ed Simkins 2015

The Morning Face of My Princess

I cannot but stumble over the words I wish to tell, for beauty has placed a magic spell,
This heart of mine has dreamed a thousand deaths, but now I see your face upon my bed,
I cry with such sweet happiness & feel the need to love you best,
I yearn & want & ache for you, in breath which stakes it’s being on you,
I see your face & shining smiles which exaggerates your glowing skin,
The pleasant outline of your brows, your light of joy within,
Your cheeks which burst with such real joy, those dimples hold my breath
You perform such duties of ritual innocence, that my only fear is death!
Oh that I could love you in the real world & do! But that you know so little & would fear it too,
But you lie there naked
Innocent and pure & snug below the blankets of my bed,
Your pretty head a flower which sings such joy to the world of men!
& then
& then you open eyes in morning slumber & smile for me!
For me!
& overwhelming waves of bliss gush forth & like a chorus of heaven sung rush forth and stretch & reach & kiss
Divine & luscious lips!
Your perfect lips!
Those moist wet lips which taste so sweet,
I caress your face with nervous hands, a falling fool in your quick sand.
You’re killing me!
With pain and nerves and aches for you, I break for you when you don’t speak,
Or thoughts from you, they fail to leak
Over routes abound from you to me, whereas I have found this sacred way to write to you;
In poetry,
Yes, a foolish man!

Who loves & wears his heart upon his crown & drowns in want for you!

& then I comb your hair.
Oh god, your flow of silken joy!
Reaching forth I grab and twist and cusp your will & morning smiles illuminate this room of bliss
& soon I feel the heat become & need will take control of you and I
Henceforth princess, I pray you lie!
Lie upon my temple bed, lie before & stir my dreams!
& realise I mean it when I say in humbled truth
I love you.

& your eyes which watch with inquisitive interest
How you arouse me.
I need you princess.

I love you.

& I need more!

~ to you dear girl. To you.
© ed simkins

To HER, my secret fantasy.

That I sit and dream in a world where no-one knows.
Or cares.
Or shows the appetite of sweet delight which grows & swirls
Within my mind.

& there you’ll find,
The truest form of sweet devotion & strong desired, desperate emotion attached to the woman who plays within my mind.

& love.

Love,
A taste of such sweet fair consumption
Attractive thoughts of heart’s eruption.
Which plays upon the soul of her who does not know.
Although,
Perhaps despite crazed words I send, she’ll fend off modes of longing holds!
Oh, these arms which yearn to purr and curl her up with man’s fine grip
& sip the fragrance of her naked form!
A warm, sensual, perfumed delight with which I ponder deeply through the night
& smiles they blaze!

& raze from depths a man despaired, who thinking of his girl, he cares
& shares
With the whole wide world of man.
A snippet of the love and deeds which forge & gorge upon the wonder of a beauty known

& here I’ve shown…
in multiple rants and worships for my girl of love
That I do love
& how I love!

A love which if unknown and secret kept
Would force the angels of the gods which wept
To have danced and frolicked and sung their golden tunes
Between the stars of love and lover’s moon!

& smile.
& love.
The two resulting products of this flow.
Sent in secret to now an angel known.

& between the world & you who can tell her so & true
That man who worships, lives in love and honesty my dear,
for you.

~ a secret moment at work in which SHE enters my mind and smiles & love it blooms & wants! Oh to kiss that girl of such sweet beauty! Another night of joy would please!
© ed simkins

At 9:33 & I’m still in Bed

After pleasant dreams & frugal sleep,
I awake & I cannot move!
I see her again & I know I’m obsessed!
This one girl who controls my dreaming mind,
I roll over in bed & with my mind’s illusion,
I see her!
I see her!
Her face do I see!
My bed is my jail & there’s much space inside,
In here she is smiling, & the blanket around.
Pulled up to her gaze & the blueness surrounds.
She laughs & she giggles & I fall ever deeper.
Yet there’s no need for a kiss, for a word she will say,
A secret we share, in a tease that she plays.
& in that moment I love, & with friction & deed,
I hold her & pull her & embrace her with love.
My darling sweet dream, my fanfared fantasy,
I want to smoother you in affection & hold you again!
I want my hands holding yours & your face all embarrassed,
I want you to sigh & declare, I want you to giggle & laugh.
& that neck & your cheek & your frivolous lips,
Would I worship with mine; & to feel you inside!
We would spend in these moments, those heartbeats of hope,
Such fun would we have in the play that we share!
Girl I think so much about you that my eyes now possess,
The body you stretch & the breasts which you hide,
& the beauty of your face & the joys of your mind,
I cannot escape this obsession that rules within me,
This simple crazed mind which dreams daily of thee,
I want you! I want you! Dear God, let her know!
This sweet feeling she gives me,
This life force that flows!

~ On awaking my mind was dreaming & thinking & obsessing about the girl I cannot tell.

(c) Ed Simkins

Soothed Escape

recline.

rest.

pull the warm blanket round.

she kisses you.

music intoxicating, a fine dream wine.

i smile.

but wearied eyes.

i close and pray and slowly inhale.

sanity prevails. returns.

i feel the world release. & smile.

comfort sings with soft caress.

a silent kiss.

& many huggs.

holding.

i can feel my heart.

my mind’s alive and grateful.

no need for drugs. no need for sex. no need for wands of dour hidden magic.

i hold her close. i see her smile. she kisses me.

all that dreams exist. a winding road to bliss.

i start again.

& breathe. a gentle thought.

i stroke her hair & she purrs for me.

a pretty child. a woman’s look.

lolita in blanket dreams who smiles and sleeps.

i rest my head.

i have escaped & here i am.

at peace.

soothed by her flow.

& smiling.

contented.

~ a hard day fought, a tired mind & a whole lot of love.

(c) Ed Simkins