The Game of Hate

Her murderous hand swam with blood
Husband’s brain mangled now
Nights scream echoes loud
Spattered rain fills the room.

Jury laughed and sent her down
Sixteen years for swollen dreams
Hunted prisons & tortured wives
Empty lives swallowed whole.

The night he died he said he loved
He praised the lord & pushed her down
Unzipped his pants & unbuckled belt
Broke her jaw in fists of rage

Her children cried and ran away
Council homes, forgotten lives
Streets alone & broken glass
Feral thoughts, their name unknown

She fell to floor & hit her head
Volcanic pain which flashed on through
Screamed & charged & mist of red
Husband downed with statue new

She sits around in broken home
The silence of the tv on
Numbed, destroyed she carries on
Blood which trickles & clots her mind

~ what’s right or wrong I do not know.
© ed simkins

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The Fight

Blood stains your angry face
A sensual kiss which rips your lips.
Frustrated hair evokes such rage
Terror fills your eyes and cries.

Soft pause in a heated room.

Breathe
& then attack once more.

Your vicious words cuts my heart with shards of angst
What makes you hate with such aplomb?
What causes these deeds of evil?
& how can I respond in kind reply?

We wait upon the floor in weariness
But then you speak again

& the hate & anger comes pouring forth
Blood red spit comes shooting out
& your teeth snarl in rage
Grinding stones of torture tear the world apart

A final show down, an illusion played out
& all the mirrors shatter in crying shame
We hear the drums of lust but you fear the name
& slash my throat with fingers once loved in night.

Cold sweat bends & falls
No way to escape the room alive but think

Love erupts in cutting ways
Torn clothes & battered faces
Destruction known to man & girl
& so Love it stabs at hopeful heart

Exhausted faces weep in shame
Bedraggled whimpers sigh slowly across the field of doom.
House & home, so still & worn
Lovers sleep in closing arms.

~ when she drives you mad! 😛
(c) ed simkins 2015

A day in the heat.

The battle with the ignorant continues
The will of the masses takes over.
Tired of excuses, I hide from the streets
Streets full of sheep, bleating & crying.

Walls being shot at,
Traffic full of nutters
Places full of fear
& trees full of lies.

Holding my head,
I hide in my darkness
Wishing for break through
Screaming frustration.

& distance grows greater
When the angels fly south
& the planes which they pilot
Take leave; turn cloudless.

The heat of the day
Intolerable & nervous
A beauty in trousers
Her hair it was falling.

& from god comes intelligence
So few that believe
Whinging & moaning
& changing the rules.

& the anger of the whores
Who takes time to prostrate
Asking for money
Which the government stakes.

The wondrous & the charming,
The sweet & the clean
All are my dreams
As I type this machine.

The young they die soon
& these angels seem fake
I close in my curtains
& worship the break.

~ my day in hell.
© ed simkins

suffering from broken love

My love.
What happened?
What happened?
I was a god in fine clothes, the night before last
& we danced and we sang & we conquered the world.
& then today I lie broken & my dreams are extinguished
By the pained & vengeful wrath of your heart.
I am tired & I’m weak & I’ve always been in love
& I adore you & care for you & I’ve never said a word
Which was against you or sent a look which showed distaste
& here is my audience who know how I love you
& worship your soul & the ground where you walk.
But tell my dream girl, tell me what happened?
What hurt you or tore you,
That made you cut me apart?
That stole you away, that broke me in heart?
What pain sent you silent, that showed off your hate?
What cause did provoke you, or cause you to take
A million steps farther than me?
My love.
What happened?

I’m too much in love & that do I know,
Maybe in my actions to you I might show,
That I might lead you astray or say that I love you
But My love I do, & it’s killing me to know
That dreams are an illusion & you’ll never see
How much you fire you stoke & the longing in me.
But tonight you stopped speaking & you ripped yourself away
& I stood like a peasant, wishing you to stay.
& Still I am dying & my tears are distraught
Tell me what I did, for without you I have nought.
But I’ll shut up I guess, cause seems somehow I have wronged
& alone I suffer as pathetically I long
Oh My love, I love you
& I wish you did know
& I’m sorry for the pain or frustration that I caused you to show.
Tonight I am weary & I mean little to you
& I wish that my words meant something to you
Somehow something happened & I’m clueless you see
I’m sick to my heart, & I’m dreaming of thee.
I love you my wonder, & i wish you were smiling
But I’m terrified that’s its over, & tonight I am dying.

~ something bad happened with my dream girl tonight & it’s ripping me apart.
© ed simkins

Her Picture Equals

Poison taken
Heart forsaken
Dreams alight
In a Night of fright
Hate enlivened
Dreams surviving
Body dying
My Eyes are crying
Beauty stolen
Days just roll on
Purpose far gone
Trapped by fusion
Mess of hoping
Drunk or doping
Bed in darkness
Brain a right mess
Taste of kissing
Love still missing
Anger, hatred
Life once sacred
Passion broken
Angel long gone
Stupid bum note
Romance; bad joke
Dead wife bleeding
No way healing
Grievance hostile
Pain not docile
Pointless sleeping
Empty weeping
Slow down breathing
Wrist is weeping
Blood is leaving
Tears are streaming
Eyes a-staring
Mind past caring.

~ up. Down. Up. Down. Life remains. As others laugh.
© ed simkins

Escape?

Broken knives hover like eagles in the sky.
Bloodied wrist torn & sore.
Eyes drenched in pain
Heart sunk in anger.

I hear the call & stolen lies
Jestful tweaks of hate
Bloody minded you say
You know nothing of the volcano inside.

Frustration mounts in steps so huge
A sickness builds & throat fills up
Disdain for life, disdain for hope
Only solitude pacifies the mind.

A world of loathsome fear stares back at me
Hate & terror & those who kill
I’m tortured here by the control of others
Those of little wit & shallow lives

The blade dangles release within my grasp
If only eyes could focus on this shameful end
Then weakness of the heart & mind
Would in cave find sweet relief

Narrow cut & drowning bath
Water filled with crimson tears
Who’d care if human died
& man escaped by choice?

Oh bloody minded you repeat
With bullshit lines of ineptitude & understanding
Aggression held below the fakest manner
& poisoned spit withheld in cheek

Power told & chained neck brought back
Who I am to run off free?
That knife still circulates
Too weak to bring it sudden down.

~ horrendous bullshit & lack of power.
© ed simkins

Retreat

Time
Eroding life
With pulsing beats of death.
Brain rotting
Failing
Dying.

A whole day of wonder
Distinguished by emptiness.
& I sleep by the graves alone.

Tonight will be painful.
I must gallop to the junction of the past & my dreams.
& I know I will I fail
I’m struggling now.

Hero of want
With the darkest of minds.
A mind which sinks from a single sharp thought.
A balloon deflated, pricked by reality.

A man who has everything
Gathers & sits.
Worn out by thinking.
Drugged by illusion.
Bled dry by fate.

But soon I will venture
For another mad escape.
I will run to the shops & buy thoughts for the dead.
Fool by a grave stone
Honestly tortured
Feeling sick with the worry
That one day I’ll wake up
& notice life passed.

Herein an example;
A day of no purpose
Lost deep within here
Mind stuck, no solution.
Mid afternoon & time to relapse
Bed calling for sorrow, a book & collapse.

Escape from the pain
The anger, frustration.
In bed I will dream
A hero untamed.
But there I am conquered
Withdrawn from the light.
& shallow thoughts burden.
I’m tired of the fight.

~ a single moment & the lights are switched off inside & the eagerness is gone.
© ed simkins

Pictures of a war wound.

A liar
A thief
A bitch who destroyed
The world was your oyster now you’re wrapped up with boys
Hard to believe the fall from your grace
And how many details fell from your face?
The smiles & the winks
The honesty you brought
Love was a dispute, one that I fought.
I couldn’t pretend; ‘not an actor like you
Someone who could deceive the world like you do
Now see how the baby’s crying in its lair
Picture to the world – that’s the one you will share.
But what of the others?
What of your life?
I loath you bitch, you cancerous wife!

So I’m angry, you accuse
You’ll spin out your lies
& tell the whole world it was me who had died.
You’ll point to the direction of my tears that you caused
And laugh at the pictures of my heart on the floor.
Well maybe it was good that you died in the night
For I can’t honestly say I miss all those fights
But you should have done better, you should have done good
and known and respected the king from the hood
but you killed him, deceived him & let him fall down
then broke me and hurt me and threw out my crown
so what now my lover, my fatal femme noir
a whole life of worship for the girl you now are?
Or will we once more, meet in the night
& see how things are, try as we might
For illusions are many and there’s much to debate
Or a least a good beating for the woman of hate
Good night I say now & I’ll bid my farewell
Thanks for the poison & the visions of hell
Silence is golden & my world is death’s door
Hope is my friend & I give you no more.

~ on seeing old lies & illusions.
© ed simkins

DIATRIBE TO DEMOCRACY

i’m screaming and I’m angry & I got rage in my eyes
& I’m fed up with bullshit & their fucked up lies
They tell me to vote, yeah they tell me to cast
They tell me to ignore their mistakes in the past
“Yeah, come on vote, c’mon, give it a try!
Then see if I care cause I just waved you goodbye
Or was that a finger I flipped as I opened the door
& took back this country like money & a whore
I’m screwing you up and there’s nothing you can do
Oh what’s that saddo, you’re going to complain to who?
Well, big deal you idiot, I’m in power don’t you see
& Like all politicians, I lie intentionally!”
& with that in he entered the door of number ten
Not caring with his riches if he saw me again.
Cause he’s smug in his world & he’s now got control
& he knows that we’re fucked, he don’t care for our soul
The system is fixed and they don’t care about that
The bankers, the illegals, the laywers, all twats
But scary in their power and their safe with their king
Sneering at the honest, hard working weaklings
& look at the ratings, look how it’s screwed
What chance did we have when you see how it’s viewed?
The Scottish minority who outnumber the rest
& the fed up true English, who the rest like to jest
& even in England, where the red came so close
The patriots stood up, but died with a dose
Of lies & deception, where the system cares not
For the numbers who scream & give a fucking jot
No need for heroes, intellects or brains
Let the stupid give out handouts to the mentally insane
Just let us suffer, its not like we care
We’re just fucking idiots, no you don’t need to share
So, here take my hard earnings, yeah give them away
Rip me off & fuck me, give to the weak who know how to play
give me nothing in return, I DO mean literally
cause I do ‘love’ the system & the rich men who hate me
but here in my cave, my hole in the ground
here I surrender to the stupid who have found
A way of holding me down, cause I’m no freeman you see
I’m just chained in my country, a slave of ‘democracy.’

~ 2015 – & democracy is alive & well. BULLSHIT. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election/2015/results

Rejected

failure. defeat. ridicule & anger.
loathing. hatred. Misery & anger.
death. destruction. denied & rage.
vilified. Ostracized. Putrefied page

Wounded. sore. Broken. Dead.
Solemn. Dejected. Rejected. Unwed.
Overwhelmed. Tired. Shattered & glum.
hurting. furious. stupid & dumb.

risking my neck, broken became
intellectual virgin, hiding in shame,
a puppy with sad eyes, butt of a joke.
on opening, a dream, stuttering i spoke.

in darkness, in public, i fell in her flames
escaping in carriage, i sit here ashamed
i tried to communicate, i tried to make bonds
instead i’m a criminal, an evil old con.

failure i said, failure i declare
where is the someone who says they will care.
her pleasantries & nature disfigured her pain
as she ran from the attentions of the mentally insane.

for me there’s no hope, a failure complete
born always, you’ll see, to beat a retreat.
i will die here alone, & in my dreams i will see
nothing but illusions of sad reality.

in which God’s hate is true & my pain is prolonged
& where each day i love, fate does me wrong.
So I sit in the darkness & write out my thoughts
Illustrate the effects of the love I have sought.

~  Above the parapet of life i stretched my head….Result? – a nasty wound to the heart!

(c) Ed Simkins