Escape From Lust

In dreams which seduce & bleed the mind
& darkness from within the hours of day.
A child grooms her long fine hair
Seductive pose in mirrored lair
Our broken hero trundles down
the corridor in blinkered step
Sees illusions born of youthful want
Will he pounce upon the maiden known?
Or curve around the fearful corner stone?

Hidden in caves of solemn terror
the man he cries in lonesome deed
Scratching walls with fumbled lust
Nails well bitten & lungs versed in terrored scream
He stands erect in broken thoughts
Tights or legs or skirts of fun
Each delusion plays upon his fate
As wandering wishes delicately hate
A room locked of sinful passion kept
Eyes prowl through painful past
& take hold of soiled dreams, frozen cast

The girl, if demon child of love is known,
Smiles & portrays such wistful play
Lies & turns & escaped half-truths
As gritful shields protect her form
She sits alone in witches curse
Nursing work laid in blackened tones
Her eyes flicker flames of hellish heat
Luring me to death & crumbled feet
But such was the strength of brave lonewolf
That cave of light was a better choice
For though his inner blade of knife
Would in ample times have sliced
& cut & bit & bled her dry
& left her gasping with a morning sigh
He knew, as heroes often do,
That escape was & is a better choice

& there within the darkened room
His thoughts & mind breathed new relief
For though he sought & would, I’m sure, have delighted been
In maiden’s neck & fallacy
His sanity was then complete
With life & heaven & sanctity
But pray now tell the moral of this story told
I say on that avoid the beauty of a woman known
& life will safely gather round your mind
& gather forth
a happier time.

~ on escaping the beauty of an illusion known
© ed simkins

Intoxication

Daughter of a sacred lamp revolves in passion’d fantasy.

Lego bricks and carpet burns, smeared lipstick & crystal meth.

Do you care if I tell the truth about the things I’ve seen?

This poor migrant who wanders through the night.

I see you. I see your face.

How many times have you smiled since before?

Have you bled over the lover beneath?

Have you torn at her flesh with the hunger born of death?

The rain outside falls. Pours. Washes over thorns of sex.

Watch the children play and see their hands.

Could you whisper infidelity to mom?

Or would you raise the issues with another failed law abiding deceiver?

Lets attach some love & laugh a little shall we?

Let us enjoy her while she’s skipping!

Select a decent night and travel nude. Inflict her with your dreams of youth.

Would she smile? Would she gratefully please? Would she even make you breakfast and pour you wine?

Sure, a mishmash of thoughts; these dreams that play with you inside.

Have you asked her for money or seen her played?

Experienced kisses tickle her precious face. Though I say nothing for her love.

I sacrifice my virginity for her. A showered wall of heat. Or fun.

But back to you.

A strange idea in a strange man’s night.

Have you understood my dreams? Have you brought the sacrifice?

Have you lain her out and bedded her fast & married her with strong sense of new age worth?

A quiet night. Naked clothes enrobe my girl.

I set my eyes on her and smile. Thorns will grow and tolerate flesh.

She will murmur soft decay as I fumble with the buttons of my life.

& I’d like you to understand my friend.

But I’ll let you watch instead.

~ hazy dreams of love & longing, of purity, of beauty, of HER, of them. intoxication.

© Ed Simkins

– Remember, not everything you read is at it seems!!! Or at least the way it’s portrayed!

Dreams Upon A Wall

would you say yes if love smiled wide? if it approached your door and knocked?

would you give it all the time of day? or politely turn it far away?

would you?

for on a wet wall outside your house, i sit and ponder. a dream fulfills my mind but flutters scared.

i recall the days, the girls, the doors which closed. i know my fate before the deed is called.

i see you walking through your warm rooms at night. i see you think and act and dream alone.

do you know i exist? do you care that i seek? that a human kind exists for you?

But a dark shadow freezes here. filled with fear, his nerves a mess.

i seek you temptress. but how, how i’m scared!

that passion sought is not the paine, but humiliation is, defeat.  the dreaded answer no.

a stupid boy.

one that’s stuck to distant wall.

i watch you dream & whispers call. repeat.

a cup of tea, a simple chat. a laugh and knowing smile.

a pleasant thought, a happy silence, the space between where no paine grows.

we’d talk and look, our eyes would flirt, and bitten lips would tease & lead.

our happy hearts would bounce and dance with loving joy that friendship brings.

& how we’d sing in silly games that children play in youthful times.

& roses wait upon your door.

for i’m scared to say, to let you know. so i walk off home & mix my tears with the pouring rain.

leave you there, through watered wooden window frames, & let you watch a wall where stranger sat.

as dark clouds journey through their twilight path, & bid farewell to dreams undone,

& slowly kiss with slight rejection, the man of truth upon your wall.

~ dreams are the things I have inside. reality i know, is unfathomable, without control.

(c) Ed Simkins

At 9:33 & I’m still in Bed

After pleasant dreams & frugal sleep,
I awake & I cannot move!
I see her again & I know I’m obsessed!
This one girl who controls my dreaming mind,
I roll over in bed & with my mind’s illusion,
I see her!
I see her!
Her face do I see!
My bed is my jail & there’s much space inside,
In here she is smiling, & the blanket around.
Pulled up to her gaze & the blueness surrounds.
She laughs & she giggles & I fall ever deeper.
Yet there’s no need for a kiss, for a word she will say,
A secret we share, in a tease that she plays.
& in that moment I love, & with friction & deed,
I hold her & pull her & embrace her with love.
My darling sweet dream, my fanfared fantasy,
I want to smoother you in affection & hold you again!
I want my hands holding yours & your face all embarrassed,
I want you to sigh & declare, I want you to giggle & laugh.
& that neck & your cheek & your frivolous lips,
Would I worship with mine; & to feel you inside!
We would spend in these moments, those heartbeats of hope,
Such fun would we have in the play that we share!
Girl I think so much about you that my eyes now possess,
The body you stretch & the breasts which you hide,
& the beauty of your face & the joys of your mind,
I cannot escape this obsession that rules within me,
This simple crazed mind which dreams daily of thee,
I want you! I want you! Dear God, let her know!
This sweet feeling she gives me,
This life force that flows!

~ On awaking my mind was dreaming & thinking & obsessing about the girl I cannot tell.

(c) Ed Simkins

The Girl In The Garden

Her naked body cold and tall, inexperienced limbs and forgotten lies. A generalization of a beauty born.

I want to kiss you!

For young girl stands in the garden watching. Hair flowing. Clothes abandoned.

I love you!

From the window I watch her and my arms are thrown around. My mind imagines biting. Her waist is small. A screaming, squeamish, wriggling delight!

She teases by standing there! Untouched. Unavailable.

Gentle shades of evening lost, the goose bumps multiply and my desire grows.

I wish to warm her. Soothe her. Hold her.

This Girl in the garden approaches & her eyes are wild with lust. Her wishful frame sleeks slowly towards. My body shakes. My stomach flies.

I never meant to fall for this girl! – This rapacious, self-confident gem of cupidity.

Her youthful body formed from immaculate rays of evening’s star, illuminating my garden with a deed yet undone.

For i WILL hold her! I WILL kiss & taste & bite & love. Caresses’ thrown will glide across.

Yet this Girl will never smile, never break, never show the flow of pleasure which cascades within.

& even though this naked girl will cover me in blanket hugs and soft, thin lips

No connection be made, no fusion sold – this defenceless, bare skinned wonder stares!

For though prepared to tease and please and break my will, & be a buoyant guarantee of ecstasy

Her name’s unknown, her body tight, her disrobed flesh my sin tonight!

& as the moon fights throw the night, this bare, graceful, elegant girl, will remain entranced & resting still

Held deep & soft & warm & firm, within the arms of mine, her’s master’s love.

(c) Ed Simkins

~ On looking through my window as the night descends in the garden

a DeViLiSh DeSiRe!

It’s tempting to kiss her. but how much would you laugh if i did?

How much would the world scream and shout and break my bones?

How much would i enjoy it? & with that. I smile.

You see delusions are fun. Devilish. Exciting.

& Around her i’m nervous; I stutter. & the dreams I’d like to get across skim and crash upon the floor like crazed Kamikazes shot down by the look in her eyes.

It doesn’t matter I guess. I wont kiss her. Not yet.

Maybe it’s too easy. Maybe she’d just say yes. Maybe she thinks the same & likes to tease and play and stroke with that delightful hair just to make me squirm. Maybe.

But i doubt it.

She smiles.

She laughs and she plays and she calls my name, though how much would she run if she knew of the devil?

Last night her sister kissed me. A slow delicate playful little mouth. A snake from my youth. That’s what i pondered as our tongues intertwined.

but i didn’t like her.

I mean she was sexy in a strange, unfathomable way…& that made her laugh. or maybe it was tears.

i never did see her again.

So now i peruse the face of the other one. THE one.

& she likes me. she tells me! i know.

– She skips and dances and fools around! & she sends me notes and wears that lipstick.

You know the one…

RED.

& I smile.

(c) Ed Simkins