Quiet.

A stillness born of death pervades my room.
I’m sat here.
Silent.

I’m tired.
Weary.
Mind screaming war-worn tales of

Confusion.

Thoughts which dangle around the cord around my neck.
To pull or jump.
To hide or fall.

Shadows mock the sights portrayed.
Notions of success & lover’s loved.
That I was king but now a tramp.

I breathe & mind stumbles towards an exit known.
In death can dreams become a golden shrine.
& the earth will give me gentle rest.

I seek escape.

~ a late night film & broken thoughts
© ed simkins 2015

Escape From Lust

In dreams which seduce & bleed the mind
& darkness from within the hours of day.
A child grooms her long fine hair
Seductive pose in mirrored lair
Our broken hero trundles down
the corridor in blinkered step
Sees illusions born of youthful want
Will he pounce upon the maiden known?
Or curve around the fearful corner stone?

Hidden in caves of solemn terror
the man he cries in lonesome deed
Scratching walls with fumbled lust
Nails well bitten & lungs versed in terrored scream
He stands erect in broken thoughts
Tights or legs or skirts of fun
Each delusion plays upon his fate
As wandering wishes delicately hate
A room locked of sinful passion kept
Eyes prowl through painful past
& take hold of soiled dreams, frozen cast

The girl, if demon child of love is known,
Smiles & portrays such wistful play
Lies & turns & escaped half-truths
As gritful shields protect her form
She sits alone in witches curse
Nursing work laid in blackened tones
Her eyes flicker flames of hellish heat
Luring me to death & crumbled feet
But such was the strength of brave lonewolf
That cave of light was a better choice
For though his inner blade of knife
Would in ample times have sliced
& cut & bit & bled her dry
& left her gasping with a morning sigh
He knew, as heroes often do,
That escape was & is a better choice

& there within the darkened room
His thoughts & mind breathed new relief
For though he sought & would, I’m sure, have delighted been
In maiden’s neck & fallacy
His sanity was then complete
With life & heaven & sanctity
But pray now tell the moral of this story told
I say on that avoid the beauty of a woman known
& life will safely gather round your mind
& gather forth
a happier time.

~ on escaping the beauty of an illusion known
© ed simkins

Perpetual Dreams Of You

You weren’t there beside me last night.
My bed of creeping thoughts was happy but devoid.
I was dreaming of you as I slunk into sleep
Dreaming that I held you, caressing your soft skin.

God, that I could kiss you!
& make everything so perfect!
I would hold you so closely
& love you so deeply & true

It’s not fair that I can’t & that’s something that bugs me
That dreams are created in the factory of my mind
& then here in the realities of my dull pained existence
You are but an illusion which cries here before me.

You climb into my arms and tell me to love well
You want my arms tight around you, protection from the nightmares
Wanting me to kiss you, look in your eyes & smile
& then safely, let you slumber through the stars which take you far from me.

I wish I didn’t love you sometimes
For the pain that you throw me
Scars this heart & this mind which betrays me
With tears of the blood which cuts with your tongue

You never need me for me
Never see me for someone separate
I’m just a ghost which you talk to or need
When you’re alone in the dark.

I’m a fool for you, my child,
I’m a guy who seeks your desire
I’m succumbed by biology
To make love & protect you.

& then when you smile & the sun fires high in the sky
God, I’m a loser, lost to your whim.
I crawl on my knees
To betray my own mind to please you.

Addicted to love, or the kiss of your lips
I’ll sit here for hours, just biding my time
Waiting for you to come over
& snuggle up besides me for warmth

Life would be easier if dreams didn’t exist
To tease & to hate me, to jest or disturb
But like the male which I am
I’m seduced by the dream

But for now, I will escape to a place where illusions can’t follow me
The gym or the garden, or some foreign land of war
& try hard to forget you, until a silent thought crawls through my mind
& the fantasies of You, begin once again.

~ summer sun in the morning sets me off dreaming about You.
© ed simkins

Mind of many colours.

Phallic open handed gestures of tame white thoughts
Dreams which bubble from broken mirrors
“cry for freedom!” the young child screams
But her father shocks the neighbours in lauded nights.

See the mice play in terrored homes
Where will the cats play if not outdoors?
“Alcohol, alcohol! Blame it on the alcohol!”
But here I am stained in tea drunk whispers.

See the splashing collapse at the end of sex
Beds of fire bring in youth
Ecstatic expressions line the wall
As she, the daughter of death, perpetuates the lie

& If I could hold on to the golden jewels
Then I would be a rich king too.
Leaks in the fabric of space surround
while the army of lovers jump through cartwheels to draw their friends.

Now illuminated pictures of photo frames
Talk amongst the monks at night or play
& Priests & film noir actresses converge in June
To each now attend a foreign room of sin

My easing time produces mixed up fears
Tor these are the days when drugs are smoked
Do you remember just before the race
When time & kissing were friends engaged?

So leave me now, in days of gore
The blood of virgin skin has broken through her veins
The sheep will mock this tale of love
Though I bow down to kiss her bum.

A night upends & crashes the wall of sleep
Exploding man has settled down, benign
His rein of insidious thoughts & rhyme
Brings forth post moronic lust & sleep.

~ a story of how to crash & burn at 3am
© ed simkins

Sleep Begins.

Eyes burn softly in the midnight hour. Dry stillness consumes. Sleep awaiting, Beckoning. Create your own world. Silent thoughts. I pause. Slow breath. Passion. Take time to rest. Alight the flames of wonder and cry no more. Excessive errors fade. Calming arms of bed. Slumber. Blissful peace. Dereliction of the attitude to fight begins. A tide of warmth from toe to head. Slunken muscles ignore the world. Chest rises. Chest falls. Eyes close. The light flickers & dims. No cares, no more. No rules, no deeds. Slipping under. A gradual weight lies down. A final breath. & the now is lost. Self unchained. Slowly, freedom soars. & Sleep ~ a simple time when Peace exists.

© ed simkins
begins.

A Day In The Life Of Me.

A cold evening death, stillness in solitude.
The light fades deep; a darkened empty room.
Sun dips head and waves farewell.
Dark mood takes over, sombre tone to tell,
In sands of grey, a mangled wreck
A human tide around my neck
A foreign race of greed & power
Stripping my nation of courage by hour.
St. George he fell in overwhelmed disgust.
While flowers saluted as England lost.
Two camps came clear, one black, one white
An error in the ways of man, so obvious to cite.
& women captured by the folly of their lies
Money, power, greed & comfort, opened wide your treacherous thighs.
I circled the army to which I relate.
The few were dying though but I battled hate.
Yet battle lost I ran inside, a hideous complex, a rich man’s joke
A hideous beast in which I hid, the tears fell from brave mens broke
I punched the terrorists & killed a few,
I ran through buildings, bruised black & blue
I cried for the millions, their mouths shut tight
For no-one speaks when God takes fright.
Collecting swords & thoughts gone past
I escaped outside & screaming fast
I took the soldiers & shook their head
“Follow on!” I cried & the war reset
A growing impulse of right from wrong
& If God were here he’d lead along!
Still numbers rose & the dead lay thick,
I stumbled forward on blood & sick,
I craved my medals, I sought my gold
I stood on limbs & raised their soul
But then I blinked & I was led
To train of strangeness in empty shed
I gazed at girl & stripped her down
Her clothes were torn & flesh was shown.
I bit her lips & loved her skin,
I pushed her round & pulled her in,
She loved her pleasure & I her smile
& echoes filled my ears awhile.
But solemn night now takes control,
& light has faded over lonely soul,
I sit here silent & weary torn,
Intrepid fighter, in tired form.

~ a day in the frightful city; of library, aliens, trains, beauty & interest.
© ed simkins

Fears & Adventure

Cacophony of fear. I’m scared to death.
That dreams should take a final breath.
I fly today. A foreign land.
No love is held. No female hand.
I drown in sorrow. Of loves gone past.
Escape is needed. Escape at last.
I dream of you. an unknown name.
One who dreads & feels the same.
Music soft, & cello played.
Relation past, I wish had stayed.
Panic falls in cold dark tears
As all my hopes they disappear.
I’m scared to death & fate it snares
As aging man I dread to dare.
I’d love again if heart was free
To kiss the wind in symphony.
A perfect love that resonates
in beauty held for which I ache.
Three figures stand around me here
The past, the present & death so near.
The past is her, my broken wife
A girl who died with sacred knife
She slit her wrist to ease the blood
In crimson tide & ending flood.
There’s death that’s close & follows me,
I fear a waiting obituary,
A heart attack or painful fire
Or still alive in burning pyre,
& then there’s dream of porcelain girl,
Who smiles & giggles in dizzy curls,
My sweet desire, my late night fun
The girl to kiss, my only one.
& all around this set of three
Lies orange land & brazen sea
soon escape with mind & heart
& see how God will play his part,
Will I die in flaming wreck?
Or love all night on maiden’s neck?
Obsessed with fate, I’ll avoid the gaze
Of death & try to conquer days,
& maybe then between nightly freeze,
Love’s true call will quickly breeze
Into sight with victory
& send me joyful company.
Let’s hope for love, let’s hope for thrill,
Let’s hope for justice; a new sweet girl.

~ See you all soon. Thank you all for the joy & smiles, support & warmth you’ve brought me on here. More poetry & rambles when I get back folks…

© Ed Simkins

Away From War

I cuddle close & soft light smiles.

An end to war & violent fights.

Talk exists but weary minds,

Each is silent, fast asleep.

They hold their arms, entwined in rest.

As closing punches end the day.

The tanks & knives & punches thrown.

Are grief, relief & wishful bleeding.

Thoughts of naked girl that drives you mad,

Repeat apologies, for mind still plagued.

Returning home through wars across the global page,

I wish I’d find her pleasant form all wrapped in love & mine upstairs.

I’d slumber walk & lie beside,

I’d taste her breathe, perfume inhale.

Her eyes would glisten, her body heat,

Fingers flow through silken hair,

Her youthful skin would make me smile

Her tender touch, her cherished crown

I’d kiss that girl who hides from wars

Who sends me smiles instead of death,

As bullets pass & evil calls,

I lie close & naked within her grasp.

In mind I’m safe & baby warm,

Her sleeping picture, tonight’s protection.

A final breath & a sensual kiss,

With Man & Girl in peaceful rest.

~ I wish she were beside me. I would just hold her close.

© Ed Simkins

Sitting On the Bottom of the Pool

there i watch my friends tumble, fall, a dereliction of a friendship past.

the children play and sing and scream, laughter explodes in bubbles blown

the water splashed and crystal clear, the perfect time to escape it all.

diving taught and bellies red, funny howls as the world goes by.

people from a distant place, those who know my childish youth,

they point and judge and recall a time, recount a broken party held

olden’s question and forget the past, an empty room where memory fades.

& all the time i sit and wonder, why i left her grave alone.

my tears merged as water surrounds. but though my love exists no more,

my children play, they dance and smile and fart and burp!

and ridiculous accents sing in waterfalls of heat.

i look at them and see a future unknown,

i wish for wealth of love or joy or famous words & actions made in happy world

they look at me, an uncle dude, a climbing frame who twirls them round.

we sit and hug and hold on kindly, we walk and laugh, we talk and think

in moments when we sit on down, the world is peaceful, a king with crown,

the pain of life is a quiet shore

and the darkness fades as the light pours forth.

~ my mind stops thinking when my nephews play

(c) Ed Simkins

Eyes of the Night

young girl sleeps in naked form. eyes watch. candles flicker.

shadows dance a midnight secret. truth to be told or his hands just kept still?

girl from next door sleeps on pillow below. a fantasy tempting but no-one will know.

her long soft hair flows through the bed. ends of torment lead to unknown.

not much time before his secret explodes. new dreams ferment & loving hands roam.

a gentle light kisses her shoulder. a touch of caress from a skin much older.

friend of a friend lies silently beneath. this child of an angel who followed her lead.

so simple to taste her, her lips sweet formation.

but resistance is kept, pleasured stimulation.

enough for tonight just to sit & watch her.

a lingering pressure & a soft delicate hand.

kiss goodnight to her gently, his minds eye engorged.

candle is taken & darkness withholds her.

a blanket smile across her form & slowly, carefully, the old man withdraws.

(c) Ed Simkins