Giving Up.

She walked around naked today, but I didn’t care.
I was wrapped up in the deficiencies of my mind.
Her false glasses and beautiful blonde hair aroused an ego far from truth
but the telephone call lied to me, I dropped her hat & smiled & walked away.
I’ve gone past caring for the considerations of others. They don’t exist!

Girl with wet hair stood & smiled. A shower room full of fantasies & wet thoughts.
But I just threw her a towel around you see. My mind is now divided by bitter recriminations!
The fallacy of the female form. A perfect dream. A dangerous liaison.
Her perfect face reminded me off a Bavarian hegemony
With her white little collar & her soft faded freckles.
I kissed her once & made her bleed, but lies were told & her manners jaded
I knew it was time to walk away. Seems all dreams break in crystal shreds.

& two girls loved, made out on a soft oval bed, sighs were passioned & the action was hot
But the night was too long & the practice bored, who was it really that imagined it all?
No-one kissed & all was fake, a woman’s heart is stone for lies.
Escape to gardens bright in flowered flesh.

I found myself in a bright sun lit, trying hard to cleanse my soul
Screams from across the world & painful sin, made life hard to live at all
But the sun warms hope in a battered man, always wanting, bleeding dry
I sit by river, lake or silent sea, a tranquil seat of clouds & dreams
The past is dead, though the stone will stay, no present seen & future gone
Here the distance merges fate with time & me, In point I stop the bloody fight,
I cease the pain, I aim to sit, here in perpetual, momentary, empty bliss.

~too much time in life spent in fight. Tonight I surrender. Or escape.
© ed simkins

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Late Night Dreaming

I wonder what its like to wake up with someone dear
To hold them & giggle, or to just fall in love
Again, like you did the night before.
To walk in places with the eyes of the young
When her smile warms up the golden sun
& her laughter is music which sings all day.

I wonder what taste is a kiss filled with tears when love is all too great
When her eyes are sobbing & loving & the pain engulfs you in a wonder so tall
That the power of her passion fulfills you with love
& sets fire to your soul for you know she’s the one.
Or she winks at you in pleasure & tickles your heart
With the softness of her pleasure & stirs up such excitement
Which conquers all of time & turns it into fragrant flowers.

I wonder the sensation of holding a hand, a tale of youth
Which glides, entwines & forces such sweet smiles
A hand that is always there, a hand that always cares
Stroking & supporting, pulling you close, leading you in
& then those dreams of her sweet lips, a mad midnight, a sacred kiss
Fun fallacy of hope from her & wild whispers of luscious love.

& I wonder the nature of her being, when the world is shared in enjoyment seen
Fun games & parties, silly tricks & dance
Rooms full of makeup, clothes & belongings.
Clutter in the new world where sanity once prevailed
The combs to her cute curls, the purses to her heart
Holders of her sweet dreams, keys to your front door.

& I wonder what I’d experience if love once more ensnared
Appetite for destruction or the making of a great man?
Lost in a heartache or the sanity of new bliss?
For dreams that I have now, shared with another
Fallen in love & headstrong romance
I wonder if all dreams, all crazed fantasies, would wonder of love as well.

~ late night dreaming indeed. A heavy night of too much bad thought.
© ed simkins

Unfocused Satisfaction

Cello plays. Soft thoughts mount. Confetti falls. An empty dream.
I pause for breath.
Skip to the end. Let’s play tonight. Let’s drink some food. Let’s play for stakes.
Or fail & cry & laugh some more.
Entry point. A scarlet girl. Her lipstick collar. I don’t care what you say.
I’m a spider. A word leak. A fountain of truth.
She calls. I hate her voice. The TV’s on, but I can not watch.
I turn to you & watch you fly. You’re drugged. The sky’s so dark.
My light illuminates the earth. The moon will disappear.
My fingers fly. I talk a million different shades of wrong. No need to fuck. Girl is naked.
A clothed horse goddess of a drunken industry. Whore? Or heaven sent?
I pause. Breath satisfies.
Call for more wine & spill my disease.
She smiles & I strip. She steals my clothes. She runs away & the music grows.
I slip – repeat.
A final draft. A hidden couch. The girl in white satisfies my hunger by blowing me.
A filthy thought. A nasty end. A pleasant crisp. Smoke. Lights dazzle.
Slow, slow, slowing down. White wine & collarbone.
Kisses of a hot head. A desire. No bed needed when the lakes are full of soft flesh & dreams.
White water rapids. Illegal pleasures. Eyes steam as I fulfil my needs.
Red lights, bright lights, walking away. Tiredness slumbers. The girl is gone.
The party’s over. Goodnight to the life. Car speeds.
The music electric, eclectic, darkening screams.
The people are younger. The distance approaching.
The edge takes over.
I fall.
The end.

~ Listening to The Verve, my head began to spin.

© Ed Simkins