My Cemetery Walk

Wasted days or relaxing thoughts?
Screams of passion lead to naught
Taken far and slapped on face
Darkness over cemetery finds empty space
Grave held low & roses grow
Shaping shadows on those I know
Moments play & sounds escape
Crossing fields as hidden snake
Blood flows thin on stolen win
Whilst cold hand rests on old man’s chin
Take the time & let it roll
Time I say for midnight stroll
See the dead & hear them sing
Watch the movement of silent wing
Bird of prey and harvest moon
Frozen winds and coated tune
November rain or evening mist
Loveless lives & forgotten kiss
The pathway leads across the field
My body broken begins to yield
I’m sure soon that death will force
My mind to stop and then in course
Weep once more and shake in pain
As I remember hand in hand in lover’s lane
Beside her grave I lay down and weep
And feel my heart pulled down deep
To mix with dreams that I once knew
And mix with her and seep on through
In pain, in death, our lives will merge
And maybe then I’ll feel such surge
That stand and jump are actions made
By old man broken, who lies afraid
Perhaps one day in secret lips
A drink of life will soon be sipped
& dreams and hope and smiles be found
By passioned excitement in arms abound.

~ silly dreams within my mind as I walk through the cemetery
© ed simkins

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The Game of Hate

Her murderous hand swam with blood
Husband’s brain mangled now
Nights scream echoes loud
Spattered rain fills the room.

Jury laughed and sent her down
Sixteen years for swollen dreams
Hunted prisons & tortured wives
Empty lives swallowed whole.

The night he died he said he loved
He praised the lord & pushed her down
Unzipped his pants & unbuckled belt
Broke her jaw in fists of rage

Her children cried and ran away
Council homes, forgotten lives
Streets alone & broken glass
Feral thoughts, their name unknown

She fell to floor & hit her head
Volcanic pain which flashed on through
Screamed & charged & mist of red
Husband downed with statue new

She sits around in broken home
The silence of the tv on
Numbed, destroyed she carries on
Blood which trickles & clots her mind

~ what’s right or wrong I do not know.
© ed simkins

The Fight

Blood stains your angry face
A sensual kiss which rips your lips.
Frustrated hair evokes such rage
Terror fills your eyes and cries.

Soft pause in a heated room.

Breathe
& then attack once more.

Your vicious words cuts my heart with shards of angst
What makes you hate with such aplomb?
What causes these deeds of evil?
& how can I respond in kind reply?

We wait upon the floor in weariness
But then you speak again

& the hate & anger comes pouring forth
Blood red spit comes shooting out
& your teeth snarl in rage
Grinding stones of torture tear the world apart

A final show down, an illusion played out
& all the mirrors shatter in crying shame
We hear the drums of lust but you fear the name
& slash my throat with fingers once loved in night.

Cold sweat bends & falls
No way to escape the room alive but think

Love erupts in cutting ways
Torn clothes & battered faces
Destruction known to man & girl
& so Love it stabs at hopeful heart

Exhausted faces weep in shame
Bedraggled whimpers sigh slowly across the field of doom.
House & home, so still & worn
Lovers sleep in closing arms.

~ when she drives you mad! 😛
(c) ed simkins 2015

Pissed Off At Bullshit.

See me standing, see me smile
& know that underneath, I fume all the while
For barraged by lies, struck down by the bull
I wish for the evil an intelligence cull!

I would remove all these idiots who control with their lies
I would happily eradicate them & wave them goodbye
I would line them all up and one after other
Remove my twisted fellow, my so called human brother

For he stands there and degrades the intelligence I now have
With his condescending ridicule & his monstrous false laugh
He pats on my shoulders and says ‘Dear Boy’
& he treats me superficially, he thinks I’m some toy

He tells me to think, to agree with his words
But I see through his pretence & I know he’s absurd
I spit & I bleed with frustration & such hate
That my venom can’t reach him & I’ve left it too late

So yeah sure I say, make up you’re rules
Treat me to such idiocy and mockery by fools
Tell me I’m wrong & tell me I’m dim
Because the morality I have hasn’t let me yet ‘win’

But when you’re outnumbered by idiots and the dumb
What chance do you have of breaking such sum
That the evil and weak, that the fuckwits and sheep
Will always out power the thoughts that I keep

For you see I’m bound by the law & I’m forced not to shout
‘How dare you stand up & let the truth out?
How dare you complain and put out the facts
That all of our bullshit is just an attack?

For No-one will listen to your un-PC ways
Where truth and justice are an old-fashioned craze
Anything you say will lead you to die
& anything you know will be tainted with lies

Let us twist statistics and paint you with hate
Vilify your lifestyle with a sad end as fate
A minority we are but we’ve taken control
& you better know ‘brother’ we’re after you soul.

So give us your money, give us respect
Give us more of everything you haven’t given yet
For you’re finished, you’re pathetic, embarrassed and dying
Your history has changed, & it’s your God who’s crying.

~ injustice and bullshit really piss me off. Who are these idiots who are so ‘special’? I hate them!
(c) ed simkins

The last song

Death is an echo of the dreams I once had
Emptied in fashions which came in a fad
Chains of disaster curve round my soul
Taking me deeper, lost in the ground.
A world full of darkness eats at my mind
Beauty of innocent spent on the child
Corruption of my fate leading to death
& Sold to the fortune I spoke with my breath.

Crimson was the colour of the dream I begun
Earning from poverty another new sun
Woke up & dreamt, cried & I yearn
Fueling the imagination, sinew to burn
Caring little for nothing & dreaming of my fear
Wishing you were lovely, hoping you were near.
You called out my name & I took you backstage
Thrashed out my anger & i hit you with rage
I cried in your pockets & tore up your dress
& spat out my fury in a need to impress.

I lie in my own filth, broken, forlorn
Needles & injections, battered & torn
Who’d have thought life which I once happily loved
Would kill all of Europe & find it all stuffed.
I wanted to kiss you, I wanted to tease
I wanted to love you, I wanted to please
But you hated my words & you threatened my life
All because of my heat & your own mental strife.

Habits are repetitive, they burden & they kill,
Seemed I could not take you, or bend you to my will
Stairs were a danger & I threw you straight down
& I laughed so sincerely, with the blood on your crown
Relationships end, & you hated me so
But I loved you my woman, though you never seemed to know.
Frustration’s volcanic, it eats & it burns
& each night you kept silent, I longed & I yearned
I want you beside me, I want your sweet smile
& I would kill everything, if only for a while

But dreams they are a-failing & I’m lost in my way
& I’ll wake up without you, yet another grey day
The glass on the stair well, the shit on the street
& the business I go to, which leaves stains on my feet
My heart it is broken, cause love never wins
& I’m guilty of loving, it’s a fortune of sin.

~ a bad night of regret & longing
(c) ed simkins

In the silence inbetween.

Dreams kill & ache & bleed & cry in rooms of silence, dark in tone.
I love you. A repeated phrase which you say remains unknown.
– It is to you.

A sparkling dress of want flutters like candle dust around your skin & the light blinks out.
You’re gone.
But I picture you there.
– Your smile which kills.
A web of deceit, or the lust of youth?
Or that fools tear themselves in dreams I fear & I hate?
For loss is great!
For even for a night, a night in which so much was gained & the flesh which surrounds you dances & burns,
Teases & forces gyrations of desire from a friend who adores
& falls gently away.
Or was that just you?
& another nights gone.

But now in soft light with whiskey & gin & a light which frustrates.
& A mind which lurks
& Seeks
Begs for you.
Says that I love you.
& I love you!

Theses hypnotic chants & screamed repetitions filter the pain,
For there’s torture in knowing you.
For this grief in desire.
Of want.
Of love.
For you.

So come to my arms my love.
Rest gently deep within them.
& Tell me your secrets tonight.
Let me bask in your glory.

Oh, I recognise your escape. I know of desire.
I know of your world, of your beautiful chances.
But allow me to love you & I’d grant you the stars
I’d make you a princess
I’d make you my queen!

But let love flow around you.
& let it be mine.

~ Her silence is torture
© ed simkins

A day in the heat.

The battle with the ignorant continues
The will of the masses takes over.
Tired of excuses, I hide from the streets
Streets full of sheep, bleating & crying.

Walls being shot at,
Traffic full of nutters
Places full of fear
& trees full of lies.

Holding my head,
I hide in my darkness
Wishing for break through
Screaming frustration.

& distance grows greater
When the angels fly south
& the planes which they pilot
Take leave; turn cloudless.

The heat of the day
Intolerable & nervous
A beauty in trousers
Her hair it was falling.

& from god comes intelligence
So few that believe
Whinging & moaning
& changing the rules.

& the anger of the whores
Who takes time to prostrate
Asking for money
Which the government stakes.

The wondrous & the charming,
The sweet & the clean
All are my dreams
As I type this machine.

The young they die soon
& these angels seem fake
I close in my curtains
& worship the break.

~ my day in hell.
© ed simkins

No Way to Save

Frustrated tears grace her cheeks
I see them fall & join.
Her heartache erupts in broken sighs
I die
As she collapses in tortured shakes
& shoulders weep.
I burn inside.
No idea of how to save this child who cries.
I ache & crash as angel calls.
I surrender to fear, inside I’m small.
I love my girl.
But I cannot reach.
I’m cut off & scared
& been pushed away.
Her shattered face speaks of loss
& beauty blooms in watered rolls.
She’s cold.
Alone.
& I’m standing there.
Rooted to the spot insane.
My soul surrounds, I’m keeping her close
I’m telling her it’s fine, that’s she everything known.
But I’m silent.
& scared.
& the earthquake is great.
The bridges tear
Communications down
I gaze at her wonder, at the beauty of her form
I’m desperate for her smile
For this fire to burn out.
For her to hit me or kill me
Scream or please shout.
But she stands there & she’s drowning
& her tears break into flood.
I’m rooted & I’m weak & I’m losing my love.
Her image fades fast & she’s moving from view
Soon she is walking & the distance benign
Now but a ghost
& lost deep in time.
I still hear the echoes, & the pain in her voice
Lost to the grave
Lost without choice.

~ having played Taylor Swift’s ‘Last Kiss’ & seeing this occur. Another experience still hurts.
© ed simkins

Her Picture Equals

Poison taken
Heart forsaken
Dreams alight
In a Night of fright
Hate enlivened
Dreams surviving
Body dying
My Eyes are crying
Beauty stolen
Days just roll on
Purpose far gone
Trapped by fusion
Mess of hoping
Drunk or doping
Bed in darkness
Brain a right mess
Taste of kissing
Love still missing
Anger, hatred
Life once sacred
Passion broken
Angel long gone
Stupid bum note
Romance; bad joke
Dead wife bleeding
No way healing
Grievance hostile
Pain not docile
Pointless sleeping
Empty weeping
Slow down breathing
Wrist is weeping
Blood is leaving
Tears are streaming
Eyes a-staring
Mind past caring.

~ up. Down. Up. Down. Life remains. As others laugh.
© ed simkins

Escape?

Broken knives hover like eagles in the sky.
Bloodied wrist torn & sore.
Eyes drenched in pain
Heart sunk in anger.

I hear the call & stolen lies
Jestful tweaks of hate
Bloody minded you say
You know nothing of the volcano inside.

Frustration mounts in steps so huge
A sickness builds & throat fills up
Disdain for life, disdain for hope
Only solitude pacifies the mind.

A world of loathsome fear stares back at me
Hate & terror & those who kill
I’m tortured here by the control of others
Those of little wit & shallow lives

The blade dangles release within my grasp
If only eyes could focus on this shameful end
Then weakness of the heart & mind
Would in cave find sweet relief

Narrow cut & drowning bath
Water filled with crimson tears
Who’d care if human died
& man escaped by choice?

Oh bloody minded you repeat
With bullshit lines of ineptitude & understanding
Aggression held below the fakest manner
& poisoned spit withheld in cheek

Power told & chained neck brought back
Who I am to run off free?
That knife still circulates
Too weak to bring it sudden down.

~ horrendous bullshit & lack of power.
© ed simkins