Around her

In my mind she lies upon my bed of white
Her long, fringed, brunette hair begging to be stroked.
Her naked young body appealing, transfixing me with its beauty.
I savour this sight.

I’d picked up her before
My arms raising her pretty little face high & close to mine.
Her hair cascaded upon my skin & tickled me
My heart sang & I smiled in love.

She’d shared some chocolates with me earlier
Told me of her family
Declared war on her sister
Shared stories of her brothers.

She’d ran towards me in the park
I saw her & pretended not to notice
Her beaming face whirled around my ecstatic mind
I leant in & kissed her sweet fine lips.

In a world of friends I’d pulled her in,
Tried to tease & jest & caress her chin.
She played so seriously, ignoring me but then
In secret moments of thought, she let me in.

My heart was up & down & inside out today
I let her control my mind & tease my soul.
I’m her puppy, her playful fool.
I love her too much & I hope she knows.

I lie her down on my bed tonight.
I’ll hold her close & kiss her softly.
Breathe her in so deeply & wrap myself around her.
In my empty bed I dream of her.

– based on reality, the dream continues
© ed simkins 2016

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If’s and when’s and maybe’s & all the words that fuck me up.

I sit here dreaming in the furniture of my youth.
Happy dreams that established me.
Playing out in the warm wide sun.
Soldiers trekking through the garden known.
I’m older now but wish I could
Open the door and return back there.
Those happy days without end or sight
Of deadlines which haunt me now and bind my mind.

I see myself as once I was
Smile alight on a tender face
Knowing none of the bullshit which haunts me now.
Running amok with innocent imagination on fire
And the rockery a battlefield of happy toys.
I’d climb on windows and escape the mess
Of Lego strewn on bloodied floor
Walls of Hadrian crossed the room
And days were spent in battles grown.

Then came desktops and cassette radios all climbed by men in suits
Uniforms of war and guns of fun
Stretched high and thrust upon the shelves of books.
I’d spend my days in conquest or happy defeat
Knowing that tomorrow I would do the same.
No need for doubt, no need for pain,
No need to care what mankind did or died outside.

Freedom is the word which recalls my youth
Playing football in the local park or street
Climbing trees and laughing loud, reading books and making plans
I’m older now, but I escape to then, I return to the past to find myself.
He who’s lost in this frightening grown up world
One of death and hate & fear and sin
Not like the world in which I began.

A child stays fresh, his mind alive
Fighting dragons and playing games, being cops and stealing space
All these things & more I held so dear.
The if’s and buts and when’s or maybe’s
They were never words when I was young.
I owned the world & I was king
I was someone special, alive, unique
I was as big as my ego wished itself to be.
Could life ever be like that again?

~ aka: A Lament For The Old Days
*one song, one programme, was all it needed to send me into a spin today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKd2G9CYKmE
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05r7nxx/onehit-wonders-at-the-bbc

© ed simkins

Aphrodite in Bed

God is a creature who sleeps in my bed, who rests and talks and fucks with my head!

She is a princess, a dream to behold, a mixture of love and of fate you’ll be told

You can laugh and you can ask & you question her style, but look at her naked & you’ll be there for a while!

Her skin is a candle which glows and entraps, a living writhing collection of sensual maps

Ones which speak and point and show, to parks of amusement – a place i must go

With time close beside her, her body will i hold, & as a blanket around, my arms will i fold

& those smiles i possess are her medals of gold, teasing me softly like fires in the cold

With her red hair alight and her young teasing eyes, how i adore the delights of her delicate size

Yet as God to my world does she make me prostrate, & with hunger & violence she aims to frustrate

For as God is to you – a story that’s grown, so she unto me is a fable i’ve sown

A dream in my head & a fatal desire, this fleshpot of love with a fearsome fire

& there in my bed, God sits and she plans, while I kneel down beside her & place love in her hand.

She smiles & she laughs & she giggles aloud, & tells me repeatedly, how much she is proud

& with a final strong desire & a warm giddy heart, we close in together & allow the kisses to start..

🙂

(c) Ed Simkins

On Returning Home…

Hey useless!

if i started to tell you that ‘you’re full of shit!’ would you laugh and giggle just like you should?

& if i smacked your head because you pissed me off would you roll your eyes and flirt some more?

& if pushed you away and screamed at you ‘Bitch!’, would you still climb the stairs off up to our bed?

well, it’s been a long day you see & my fucking meal is late & the house is a bloody mess!

so i wonder if you care or another replacement should i find.

and your music is blasting and the mail unopened and therefore should i consider what it is you provide?

for when i’m out and a-working what the hell do you do? how much money do you raise? & who’s fucking you?

oh, did i swear? did i say something wrong? or am i just playing that role you that love?

the one of the old guy, the one who takes control. the old man with money who just comes along

and plays with his girl, makes her cry and then laugh, the one with the muscles, the one who’s just daft.

is this the role you want me to play? am i doing well? have i made your day?

you’re a funny little girl, with your curious deeds, being mother all day then loving me.

i guess we should marry, but what would that change?

& yes, i’m smiling at you cause you drive me insane.

ah thank you babe, the dinner’s done!….& what’s that for afters?

oh yeah. it’s time for your fun! 😉

– i do love you!

x

(c) Ed Simkins