Awoken by dreams.

My bed aches in misery. Fact.
A frozen blanket of time & memory.
Filled with dreams from old.

Thoughts that capture you.
I hate you.
You left me scared & broken.

Your memory stood there this morning.
A vengeful palace of words so stern.
Vivid dream that bit. & cut eternal deep.

I’m angry.
& I despise you for the details you provide.
Standing there accusing me. How dare you.

You told them lies.
Strangers that I never knew; your family of fear & daily deceit.
You told them lies. & broke me with their hate.

How could you lure me last night?
How could you stand there naked? Make me dream of your flesh that burns.
Smooth & still & screaming seduction. Always bribing.

Tonight I’m sick. & I don’t expect you to care. I know your thoughts.
You appear in dreams & wake me up in sweat so cold & full of crisp disdain.
Then stir my passion with love & hate.

I’m sick inside. Never healed. Never known sweet freedom from you.
The cuts you stroke are deep & sore. A mad memento of love so called.
You stole so many things but the empty shell you left behind.

I’ll curl up in my bed tonight. Stretch out a hand and miss you there.
I’ll pretend no fear & hide beside, an empty space where tears were cried in hopeless desire & love inspired.
I’ll watch your face, your silent sleep & breathe.

& The light will fade, the shadows recline.
Darkness consume & the night will pass.
Maybe tomorrow in the fresh morning sun, a new hand will hold me close.

~ this morning’s vivid dream shook my soul. I Awoke to anger & frustration.
© ed simkins

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“I love you.”

Tell her.
Tell her how I feel inside.
See me cry with pained & scarlet truth.
Watch the rivers flower.

I speak no lie.
A broken man who dies. Eyes which burn & seek & yearn.
Tears roll. & merge with words.
I wish she knew.
I wish that guts were things that changed the world for me,
For mine would spill in granted defeat if only doors would open wide & smile.

I love you.
Your beauty sings.
Each delicate movement, each perfect feature born
You steal my breath.
You ignore my being.

I sleep alone, a ghost in clothes. A memory served with forgotten jest.
Deleted pictures burnt.
How I‘d change the world if god existed or controlled the world the way he should.

& Virgin youth.
With moistened lips & soft curved face. She pains me so; unwelcome frustration.
I cannot take the fruits I seek. Nor pin her down & tender love be made.
Metal bars surround her.
Teased desire.

What use is love?
Or lust?
Or want or dreams?
Abandoned night without her here. I bruise from day to day.
I seek her smiles.
I seek her kiss.
A long, slow, tender, sweet, delicious taste. Her soft young lips which play & shake, her nervous bite.
These the things I know of well.
For each night I dream of you my love. of how in love, in paired embrace, you and I would stay.
Long & take & question why.
that this feeling found, this sensation now
could not, should not, will not last a thousand years.

For if only you knew.
That I love you.
So tell her that from me.
Tell her.
“I love you”

~ When I think of the girl of my dreams.

© Ed Simkins