6 Hours Around Her.

I kiss her.
In every moment
In every sight
In every thought I share with her
I kiss her.

But I can not tell or say or intimate.
I am mute to her friendship
I am mute to my fate.
Mute to the needs of having her around.
I’ve fallen for the perfect one.

She stands there A.M & the day begins
Conversation held & soft skin touched & cool.
She giggles as the story of her night unfolds
& I am hers completely.
The crowd surrounds but knows no the truth of us.

Break in work & she’s through to help.
She stands beside & teases me
She smiles & laughs & her words they pour.
Her perfect ways surround me now
& my bubble exists because of her.

But Manager storms on through with grim clouds grey
Rain storms fall & drown my joy.
Doors are locked & now she is gone
Emptiness completes the distraught scene.
Marooned alone I’m dying.

I see the future, kiss & taste the silence.
There’s no fun, no joy, no screaming madness.
Her world has gone, I’m broken down.
Tears & words of anger mount
& all the raged fists I hold crash against that deserted beach.

Yet as the beacon slowly burns, she’s seen, a ship ahoy.
I’m dancing, I’m yelling, I’m crying out her name.
She sees & runs & we hold on tight
I’m loving her touch, her perfect smile.
I’m lost to her, the perfect one.

– when she comes and goes like she did today I’m a loon!
© ed simkins 2016

Consumed

God cares no more for the tears of a foolish man.

One who loves & wants & seeks & knows the child, the girl, the angel of his heart who lies before him in naked pose…

 

But dies.

 

For God, if man believed in such, knows nothing but how to hurt & cut & tear & destroy crippled man’s world.

He knows how to paint the dreams I have so black.

 

…Black!

 

This tortured epiphany of death, the cloud of time which takes all & leaves uncharted & unknown

Leaves me silent.

With hate for the dreams & hopes & eternal longing of broken men.

As such I am.

 

I kneel beside this naked corpse of my lover’s fine & youthful virgin land.

Beauty wrapped in golden silk & luscious white skin of tender age.

I love her.

Oh how I love her!

In death as in life I love her & no more will lips of joy be warm to touch

Or soft  nestling of her childlike chin breath happiness into finger tips which seek for her.

 

Hence I close my eyes.

& Tears dawdle upon my angered face.

Collective streams of memories flood my mind

& I hold her hand.

Cold & still.

 

Pain engulfed by pain rides through these veins of want.

 

I see no point

No purpose

No future morning sun without her.

 

I take the cut slowly.

 

Fingers of red rivers roll across my wrist.

 

Life subsides into forgotten dreams.

I lie beside her & cry.

I hold onto her.

 

Silence fills the world with stillness

& the leaves on autumn trees outside fall & wave goodbye.

 

 

© ed simkins

– life without her?

The three daughters of God

Number one was the girl in the pink bikini. a delicious little swimmer in her first flush of love.

she smiled and cried as i kissed her lips. i couldn’t help but hold her down.

she teased me with her wriggling hair. wet & long & her legs so slim.

the thinnest bands of marshmallow pink. a tiny ribbon that fluttered by her side.

& her eyes and smiles – such sweet perfection! she swam to me and her arms flowed round.

such were nimble dreams and sweet innocence.

Number two was god; she knew my name. i kissed her skin and i wished she knew how much i loved her.

she told me of her news & my tears fell. she’s leaving soon for my fate is ill.

her tender breasts and perfect hair, her painted feet and ad hoc nails; she makes me laugh.

she turns me over and breaks my heart. a rolling mess of desire. i long for her.

i wish to taste a strong embrace, i’d keep her happy if she only knew.

but lines are drawn and the words are wrong. one minute i’m king, the next i’m not.

& Number 3 is the girl who killed. the girl who fled. the one who banished life and slit her wrists.

whether the darkness takes over, i cannot tell, but the car is packed and these streets may pass.

i will stand at her door and worship god. the way he hates, the way he tears this man apart.

i will kiss her as she sleeps, as i always do. & wish that she were mine this night.

such are the dreams i hold on this Valentines day.

.

~ the three most important girls in my life

(c) Ed Simkins

two girls & a question

Last night she made love, she smiled & she screamed. such that relationships begin.

the steam was hot and love ejected, a turbulence dance within the waterfall.

& then this morning I found that she was gone, the girl in red cloak & her shoes.

so today a replacement found alas, yet so different from the girl who’d passed

muscles & toned & short blonde hair, petite in nature but strong in stature.

i tried to talk & words came out, but i had to end it as her lies came out

for though she was fun & yes she smiled & oh, how the conversation flowed,

i could not say that enamored love there in reason did begin to flow.

You see, i prefer my girls so sweet & clear, with stylish hair that speaks to me

American smiles & English charms, European styles & Girlish looks

I prefer my fantasy to the real thing for reality seems to only let you down

& i ask you now, how can i be with someone who lies, who cheats or worse still dies

who tries to change & rearrange the soul you’re born with, how does that work?

How does any man or girl i ask, survive a warden who tells them of some other rules

that i am wrong when i am right, that relationships are controlled, that i am nought

how do you prefer the reality of the one you’re with, compared to the love & affection of the unknown one?

the golden one who simply lets you love.

i ask you.

~ two people i met made me think

(c) Ed Simkins