Consumed

God cares no more for the tears of a foolish man.

One who loves & wants & seeks & knows the child, the girl, the angel of his heart who lies before him in naked pose…

 

But dies.

 

For God, if man believed in such, knows nothing but how to hurt & cut & tear & destroy crippled man’s world.

He knows how to paint the dreams I have so black.

 

…Black!

 

This tortured epiphany of death, the cloud of time which takes all & leaves uncharted & unknown

Leaves me silent.

With hate for the dreams & hopes & eternal longing of broken men.

As such I am.

 

I kneel beside this naked corpse of my lover’s fine & youthful virgin land.

Beauty wrapped in golden silk & luscious white skin of tender age.

I love her.

Oh how I love her!

In death as in life I love her & no more will lips of joy be warm to touch

Or soft  nestling of her childlike chin breath happiness into finger tips which seek for her.

 

Hence I close my eyes.

& Tears dawdle upon my angered face.

Collective streams of memories flood my mind

& I hold her hand.

Cold & still.

 

Pain engulfed by pain rides through these veins of want.

 

I see no point

No purpose

No future morning sun without her.

 

I take the cut slowly.

 

Fingers of red rivers roll across my wrist.

 

Life subsides into forgotten dreams.

I lie beside her & cry.

I hold onto her.

 

Silence fills the world with stillness

& the leaves on autumn trees outside fall & wave goodbye.

 

 

© ed simkins

– life without her?

A late night fest.

Mute cacophony of ideas
Dreams which end, perplex & roll around to play games in the sand.
A water leaked.
Late night issues & forgotten themes.
Who cares but nobody for the dreams which died.
Incest gave way to passion & planets spun.
Midnight ramble.
Heavy hand broken on repeat.
Can u understand the criteria of the late night sleep?
Drug induced?
Apartment sworn.

Her clothes were torn.
Knees showing in pads of white,
Distance drowning in some foreign air,
Warplanes ran.
She rued the injustice of other people’s wars.
& all the time I coloured text upon the wall.

Final hours stay alert in orange flames of death.
Crimson cigarettes pass from lips.
Youth was a name I knew before.
Braided hair lost its appeal.
I cried when the dog in space died this afternoon.
& Jane was a stranger sold as slave.
Was sex always supposed to be free?

Money buries the dead in sheets of grey
& pauses wait patiently for each man to fill.
What would you say if you were here?
Or alive?
Would you talk to god about the football scores?
Or ask him if you could seduce the neighbour’s daughter?
I live on an island of solitude
Where no respect is given for deeds.

I suppose you should sleep now huh?
Bed yourself in clouds of work.
Could you think of me as I alert the police & ramble fine mosaic words across the sky,
Silent dreams of sex & angels.
Time to plug in the blanket of love & hope & peace.
I wonder if you will say how clever I am?
Is it not good that I can count the stars upon the back of my head?
Girls or drugs or both I ask
Imagine
& then step forward to illustrate the aim of all escape.

Goodnight or morn & salutations.
Robot greased & sleep ensues.
A late night fest.
I take my rest
& bid all thee farewell my friends.

~ I suppose sleep is a valid concoction. I should try it sometime!
© ed simkins

As you stand before me.

I want you in your golden skin girl! For I fancy & seek your pleasure.
Imagine dreams that come true!
Take off your glasses & smile & see the world so differently. Pretend no more!
Abandon these un-needed games of hide & seek. Just play & stand before me!
Unclasp your sanity & let it drop. Smile, be bashful!
Let your cheeks of pure white snow radiate with joy!
Let me touch you!

Your nervous stance excites me so! I love the flirtation of your virgin thoughts.
So innocent. So sweet. So desired!
Undress the lust that you hold within, bear your scars slowly & daintily!
Caress your cute long hair back as you stand there wondering.
& if you giggled…?

Oh, if you giggled!

Then would I approach in fatherly figure & slowly, tenderly cusp your body into mine.
Our eyes would touch, connect & shine!
My finger drawing a secret veil back beyond, & your cool, soft ears revealed in perfection.
Delicately stroked. I smile.

You’re so beautiful you know!

I’d edge towards an electric kiss, but study & gaze I must upon your youthful tendered flesh.
You; my flower of fun & sweet dessert!
That spring would, could, create any bud that opens as perfectly as you…
I sincerely, strongly doubt!
In lingerie of mystery and night sparkled black, your devilish tempting secrets so lusciously hidden.
You tease me with your cute & contrived playfulness girl.
& how you hide yourself from me; no longer can I resist!
Oh, you with perfect curves, hot, leading!

& So I’d rest my gentle hands on your hips of such slow & dangerous protrusion, that love be made within these hands alone!
& Oh, how long can I stand before my Venus before I eat her whole?!

& then you smile!
You demon you!

Such happiness alight in your female flurry & your warm, spring, blossomed beauty.
Words fail me for the design that’s formed before me!
Sweet Athena, stealer of my heart, let me love you & adore!
My heart is jubilant & breaking for you & heavily passionate in its love for you & you alone!
Smile again my girl & I shall sweetly succumb to blissful serenity!
You my girl are Eden.

~ thinking about you girl! You are truly the most beautiful girl in the world! 
© ed simkins

Without Focus

a secret told in hidden depths of blackened skies.
Rains fall. Dreams end. subjected issues plague the mind.
Stillness reigns. Inertia, fear & regret.
The explosion of the chase that was racing over yonder hill was but a day away before. & gone.
Now past.

I find myself in solitude. Pages of dread stare at me from the silence of the leather bound case.
Pens stare. Keyboard distracts. & waits.
Intelligence still.
I cannot work.

& reasons forth are many & in multitude.
Rush forward to speak & understand the problems that are or which delay.
– Dreams sir!
Dreams!

Of a child known which smiles & laughs & in her wisdom avenges with such cheek & wit.
Her probing retaliations & curious ways fend me off in such pleasant ways.
She brings me in. entraps & snares.
A witch of youth who torments my heart & mind with thoughts of her alone.
& still no single kiss from lips unknown.
I beg.

Hand which types & struggles forth in unfocussed mind seeks to touch
To gentle caress her blushing cheek.
I smile.
& die.
& stare at words which flow upon the screen & not through work.
For I think of her.
Of her.

& perhaps she knows my secret now.
– She teases so!
That love & lust & wanton desire & soft & luscious warm affection awaits.
Seeks her.
Wants her.
But I must focus.
On tedium that must daily transpire & urge my mind to focus thus.
Away from her. Away from dreams. Away from yearning that consumes me so.
& as I type & struggle to conquer days ahead, I will think of her.
Of impish delight. Of conversations held in jest.
& best…
Her beauty thrown in perfect form which leads me into thinking things that many say I should not.
But do.

For love, or delusion, or boyish want
Will keep her in my mind this quiet night.
I love her!
With all my heart I think of her.
But torn heart which cannot touch her precious soul, must now instead win over mind
& focus on the struggles of thought & work
Such is the fight within my head that now exists.

~ Procrastination & thoughts of her. I cannot concentrate. Nor focus on my work.

© ed simkins