Her

My presents sits & skips & dances before me.
Kicks & teases & talks to me.
Makes me smiles.
Illuminates my world.
Sets my heart on fire.

She kicks my feet & tells me no.
Holds her hair in awkward poise.

Tilts her head, such graceful, pretty little thing.
Eyes spark & I ingest.
Gasp.
Breathe & bow & worship her.

She stands afar & I am sad. Anger begins to fuel the fear & distress.
She stands before & I am quenched.
A stricken soul, stranded for far too long.
I love her.
I need her.
Seek her.

I gaze upon & eyes dance upon & search her for the features which wins me most.
I fail each time
Until she smiles once more & I am joyous! Giddy & out of control!

I love to touch her. A gentle stroke, a kiss, a hug.
My fingers glide & pinch behind her knee. I feel her hip.
Her perfect bum. A waistline sharp
Or gentle skin on sensual neck.

I wish to lead or gasp, be led.
& find myself alone with this perfect girl.
I’m in love & sunk & carefree & lost
& yet I know my mental map centres, revolves & relies on her
Being her
& there for me!

I can feel her in my empty arms.
& smile alone without her.

Til grace sends her once more to me
& we play like children all over again
& again.

– on being in love
© ed simkins 2017

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Her picture.

Undress my princess
Her inviting smile beckons my lust
Crimson lips
Eyes of simple trust.

Her heart controls me
Connections made in silent stands
Childish fantasies insane
Eternal desires of man.

Beauty bedevils the rights of hope
Pleasure seeks its hidden touch
Wanting smooth love alone
Or dreaming of shared lives, a want too much.

I tilt my head
Kiss her soft & slow
Stroking naked tender flesh
So no-one else will know.

Love, desire & an urgent sense of hunger
Brings her close in many ways of wonder
Foolish, imperfection throws happiness a bone
& bears poor witness in tears to the path he’s sown.

But guarded secrets tell of love he holds for her
& hopes to strip her down & extenuate her groans
Daily thread bare logic persists & warps
These strong desires inside to hear her moan.

Love or lust he can not tell
But face of angel beckons more
& daily fantasy behind these eyes
Illusions on her flesh he’ll draw.

The futility of love.

I want to hold her.
Really hold her.
To my chest.
To my heart.

I’m in love
& I’m in pain.
I’m pleasured
& I’m sick.

I grieve for I know the truth.
In a year she departs.
Gone.
Leaving for a foreign land.

& I know this.
I shed tears because of this.
I gaze into her eyes and I know this.
My tears fall because of this.

How can love bring so much pain?
How can life be so cruel & bring so many smiles?
How can she be this perfect & so close to me
& yet engaged in a fading act of dying?

i love her.

© ed simkins 2016
– torture is my grief, love the cause.

Pictures Of Love

Look at that smile!
Look at it!
Look at the beacon of all that is perfect with the world when the world is torn by such hate & fear.

She is God.
She is warmth.
She is perfection.
She is life.

I own no power.
I control no world.
I lie in awe
& yet still she desires me.

She’s stolen my heart with the innocence of her mind
With her child-like wonder.
Her curiosity. Her desire.
Her love.

& that face.
Her face.
With her deep, dark eyes, & that secret hidden world.
Her tender pale skin & her young sweet cherry lips.

She laughs & I don’t care about the world out there.
For I am lost and happy in this dream I behold.

Sacred is her body,
Beauty is her name.
I kiss her softly,
& My hands they caress her.

She smiles & we part in love
I tell her I love her. I wrap it in words.
I caress her white skin
& I long for her beauty
Again & again.

– all I can think of is her.
© ed simkins 2016

Love which Smiles

An hour I’ve sat here.
Stuck. Numbed by happiness. Frozen in time by the smiles you left upon my heart.
Can I call you back?
I knew you’d run with open arms and hold yourself so closely against all I contain for you.

I’m beaming.
I’m frightened.
I’m in love & it bleeds.
I cannot move for fear that this moment is edging ever forwards into darkness.

Oh my angel I long for you & you have only just left!
That I could fall for such a girl. For such a woman.
For such an angel who loves me too.

I hurt.

I hurt for you.
I hurt for every second you let me caress.
I hurt for every cherished smile you send my way.

& I play back the movie I make of you.
These eyes repeat their offence & enjoy.

I breathe you in and warming fires began to flame across this frozen heart.
How can it be that love exists in such times that always end?
That happiness flits across my universe and that you, you are the beautiful radiating cause of it all!

I love you.

A simple declaration of every thought I hold for you.
I smile and long and want and dream and kiss the silent air when you are gone.

Your joy is mine.
You let me in.
You stand so close. You let me play and tease and stroke and hold
And breathe.

And you enjoy me for it.
For the happiness I give you.
& I love you.

Girl, I love you.

– each experience with you fills my heart with such abundance of dreams.
© ed simkins 2016

Without Her.

A day off without her.
No laughter.
No beauty.
No brilliance.
It’s killing me.

Why can’t I see her every day?
Hold her & play with her and just be with her.

Why is it that love pains so much?

I hold the photo I have of her & I miss her!
Boy do I miss her!

It doesn’t laugh or chat or talk or tease or flirt or dance or play or whirl or hold.
She’s beautiful in it, but it’s not all that she is.
Not by far.

& I’m missing her!

Behind this smile I long for her.
I long to tell her how much I want her here.

I cannot cope with death. & I cannot cope with this.
I need her.

Time is cruel. Love is worse.
Fate & Life conspire against every wish I ever have.

I love her.

Please tell her.

xXx

– A long day without her.
© ed simkins 2016

Girl in Red Pleasure.

Blanket red wraps around her naked body.
She is sleeping now.

Entrapped within her female grip
I loved her well.

She smiled throughout.
She smiled & sighed & scratched my skin.

Her blood so red entwined with mine.
Her gentle breathing now soothes my sin.

Stillness of the midnight air pervades.
I wrap my body, now spent, around her tight.

She’s warm to me, she holds me close.
Her features delicate and perfect please my soul.

her hair a final midnight kiss, I love this girl.
Her happiness ensnares my ageing dreams.

& we sleep tonight.

ed simkins (c) 2016

My Cemetery Walk

Wasted days or relaxing thoughts?
Screams of passion lead to naught
Taken far and slapped on face
Darkness over cemetery finds empty space
Grave held low & roses grow
Shaping shadows on those I know
Moments play & sounds escape
Crossing fields as hidden snake
Blood flows thin on stolen win
Whilst cold hand rests on old man’s chin
Take the time & let it roll
Time I say for midnight stroll
See the dead & hear them sing
Watch the movement of silent wing
Bird of prey and harvest moon
Frozen winds and coated tune
November rain or evening mist
Loveless lives & forgotten kiss
The pathway leads across the field
My body broken begins to yield
I’m sure soon that death will force
My mind to stop and then in course
Weep once more and shake in pain
As I remember hand in hand in lover’s lane
Beside her grave I lay down and weep
And feel my heart pulled down deep
To mix with dreams that I once knew
And mix with her and seep on through
In pain, in death, our lives will merge
And maybe then I’ll feel such surge
That stand and jump are actions made
By old man broken, who lies afraid
Perhaps one day in secret lips
A drink of life will soon be sipped
& dreams and hope and smiles be found
By passioned excitement in arms abound.

~ silly dreams within my mind as I walk through the cemetery
© ed simkins

Darkness Calls.

Can you feel the blood trickle forth?
Tempting fate with kisses of sad recline.

Death breathes, slow release & cries.
A line of existence draws close upon her eyes.

Those which sought have died & the light it fades
Failing from the misery told in youth, a dream expires.

The soil falls in broken clumps
Heart sinks with the patter of the rose petals thrown.

I feel the cold.

A final push towards the sanity of man refused
Time repents & runs away.

Beware the dust of thought which closes in upon your naked skin
The worms will feed well this night through itching hate.

I see her glare, her moist white lips
As her decaying dreams scream my name

The silence moans, bearing forth fruit of frozen lust
Princess cried in blood red mist.

I hold her naked flame & tremble at the cost.

~ On thinking about death.
© ed simkins

Photographs

Apparition smiled, a falling child
Killed lonely man, sent no smile
Dreams of yesteryear fraught with pain
Hopes all dashed, my life insane.

Stillness purveys, over yonder field
At hidden depths of dusty, broken shield.
Silent tears fall, their coldness screams
Of broken words & long lost means.

If I could save the life once led
Then ghosts would leave from distraught head
Pain would end in stolen nights
& rainbow colours would hence be light.

But papyrus dreams of a beauteous form
Who stole my heart & broke the norm
She danced in playful travelled gifts
Until her halo began to shift.

She glides each day & stalks my land
& in her death she holds my hand
She looks to me & reminds me so
Of how I miss her inner glow.

But death is close & ghosts are cruel
For in midnight hours they will rule
They’ll shadow you & break you down
From lion’s heart to royal crown.

& so I lie amidst her lies
As tears stream in vast goodbye
Broken tiredness & sleep deprived
Her ghost beside & both we cried.

Blackness, fright & dark decay
Fill these words with which I say
My love I kiss a thousand times
Your love is lost, I cannot find.

~ I saw your picture today & it cut me deep.
© ed simkins