i hear your voice and the sickness inside roars forth. it rips my head.
such heavy tears that fill my mind and break my soul. i claw the air.
i feel the space where you used to be and i hold your dress, repeat your loss.
i see the grave of flowers that you left behind and the sky draws in. closes in.
i need your hand, i need my shoulder felt, i need you close. i need support.
but my heart is worn. for the nights are long & the days so barren
an evening’s darkness feels so cold. i miss your charms.
these dreams, these sights i see of you, they throw up dust and sting my eyes,
i feel the pain. i miss you babe.
the cold wraps around me like death and twisted fate, a slow strong clasp that brings me down.
& in my mind i see you smile.
& i know i can never touch your body. just let you walk, just let you play,
and i sit there girl, i sit outside,
i sit & watch the world walk by and the seasons change and i see you grow, i see you change.
i remember the time we held our hands and the games we played & the kisses we shared
the looks you gave, the smiles you made, the songs we loved, the times we craved.
these tears they roll because you’re not here. & you don’t care.
you took your life and the world has changed. our daughters grown and flown the nest
in these seats are ghosts and love is just a name.
i saw your face today and my world crashed in. the tears broke forth and i’m anxious now.
my breath is short & the end feels close.
i wished we could dance and kiss once more. & then some more. & then some more.
but the pain folds in and crashes me, the emptiness of a life without
i just want to hold your face my girl and see you once again with me.
& then again & again & again & again… x
~ such are my dreams of the untouched, untouchable one.
(c) Ed Simkins