Without Her.

A day off without her.
No laughter.
No beauty.
No brilliance.
It’s killing me.

Why can’t I see her every day?
Hold her & play with her and just be with her.

Why is it that love pains so much?

I hold the photo I have of her & I miss her!
Boy do I miss her!

It doesn’t laugh or chat or talk or tease or flirt or dance or play or whirl or hold.
She’s beautiful in it, but it’s not all that she is.
Not by far.

& I’m missing her!

Behind this smile I long for her.
I long to tell her how much I want her here.

I cannot cope with death. & I cannot cope with this.
I need her.

Time is cruel. Love is worse.
Fate & Life conspire against every wish I ever have.

I love her.

Please tell her.

xXx

– A long day without her.
© ed simkins 2016

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Anxious Desire

Hunger burns a fierce image within my mind.
The thought of her, my beauty, festers and seeps and wounds.
Passion builds when man awakes, when I lie in darkness, waiting for the morning sun.
Obsession plagues!
Once seen, my thoughts of her affect.
I cannot eat…or breathe…or focus still.
Headaches form with lack of her.
I cannot see.
I close my eyes & numbness prevails.
She stands there, flowing dress & perfect hair.
I yearn.
Sickness rises. Imagination grasps, asks for her.
This fool deludes, minds eye plays, my throat is dry.
Tightening.
Will I see her? Will I meet her? Will I say her name or run?
Will she smile? Will she talk? Will she even come my way?
A clever man so stupid born.
Abiding desire works its way on in.
I can not focus. I cannot think.
I cannot put my name to pen & scribe an essay full of words which smile for her.
& I struggle to write these words you read.
I breathe but only crazed imagination fueled.
Who’s in control?
I long. I yearn. I ache & dream & watch the lonely ticking hand drift on by.
So slow.
Dreaming thoughts meander past.
A soft slow river of helpless needs.
Fire inside alight & bright,
Imagination burns completely without control.
Already hands are held & smiles amuse
All within the mind of fool.

~ I wish that fate would change!

© Ed Simkins