If’s and when’s and maybe’s & all the words that fuck me up.

I sit here dreaming in the furniture of my youth.
Happy dreams that established me.
Playing out in the warm wide sun.
Soldiers trekking through the garden known.
I’m older now but wish I could
Open the door and return back there.
Those happy days without end or sight
Of deadlines which haunt me now and bind my mind.

I see myself as once I was
Smile alight on a tender face
Knowing none of the bullshit which haunts me now.
Running amok with innocent imagination on fire
And the rockery a battlefield of happy toys.
I’d climb on windows and escape the mess
Of Lego strewn on bloodied floor
Walls of Hadrian crossed the room
And days were spent in battles grown.

Then came desktops and cassette radios all climbed by men in suits
Uniforms of war and guns of fun
Stretched high and thrust upon the shelves of books.
I’d spend my days in conquest or happy defeat
Knowing that tomorrow I would do the same.
No need for doubt, no need for pain,
No need to care what mankind did or died outside.

Freedom is the word which recalls my youth
Playing football in the local park or street
Climbing trees and laughing loud, reading books and making plans
I’m older now, but I escape to then, I return to the past to find myself.
He who’s lost in this frightening grown up world
One of death and hate & fear and sin
Not like the world in which I began.

A child stays fresh, his mind alive
Fighting dragons and playing games, being cops and stealing space
All these things & more I held so dear.
The if’s and buts and when’s or maybe’s
They were never words when I was young.
I owned the world & I was king
I was someone special, alive, unique
I was as big as my ego wished itself to be.
Could life ever be like that again?

~ aka: A Lament For The Old Days
*one song, one programme, was all it needed to send me into a spin today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKd2G9CYKmE
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b05r7nxx/onehit-wonders-at-the-bbc

© ed simkins

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yogini lust

Her perfect breasts remind me of my youth & smile
Teeth marks left in swan white neck
Dreams seduce in secret beats
I stand there, my favourite girl undressed

Her golden skin illuminates my soul
Curved & lean & market fresh
I laugh & smile with childish delight
i sense in several thousand ways

her braided hair my eyes desire
alluring lead to back which arcs
& curves that swim to pleasant shores
To touch or kiss a ticket bought

Arousal built in dream transpired
The way she moves it kills me off
Lust is born in naked thrust
I long to wrap her up in love

I smile a devils thought & deed
She knows not of the hidden strength
Her fragile arms will beseech me now
As lips will meet in pleasant touch

I caress her face & worship her
I bite & tear & play with her
She squirms in mocking fight & screams
But beads will roll in heated bliss

I watch her smile as she breaks my name
& entry forced in desert sand
Pinned her down & power grown
This naked beauty, dream of mine

She speaks no sound & I will love
The desire of such a perfect form
Where tongue or eyes or tender hands
Will flow like rivers roam

I see her there, a stranger yet
I’m seeking to strip & tear her clothes
To see her lustful ache & moan
Embarrassed sighs will take.

As rest becomes & girl is worn
I write her secret words of love
I kiss her lips & roses left
My eyes do gleam upon her youth.

& bid repeat in sacred ways
Where love will grow inside her heart
& tell her now of thoughts insane
Addiction dealt with naked girl

~ I saw her body there before me; how I long! HOW I long!
© ed simkins

Redhead naked.

Redhead lies naked, calm, seductive
Goose bumps crawling, wandering across her pure white skin.
I smile.
& breathe her in.

The stainless steel blade flickers under the midnight moon.
She’s cold, calculating, lethal, still
But she teases me
& my eyes glide naturally across her lustful reflection

My girl is fresh.
She’s breathing, undressed.
Perfect summer dress, creased & laid bare.
Muscles refrained from movement made.

My hands approach, controlled & warm
Erotic tension built, a grasping stare
Smooth, crisp, clinical grip
& Blade untarnished; resting there.

Her skin beckons me
& My senses flicker as they stroke her youthful shell,
Autumnal hair of red delight
Her pefect breasts, her thin white neck.

The Knife it strokes.
A cool, clean tingle flashes
She gasps
I smile.

I kneel beside her, examining, admiring
A tender finger glides around the curves of this perfect creature
Her white virgin flesh, yet untouched by sin
I reach in & kiss; explosion of taste devine

Her arms reach round, intoxicating fire
The flat of the blade pressed hard against
Passion indulges, increases want
No more need for the knife tonight.

~ passion & a redhead…that’s all I can say!! 😛
© Ed Simkins

Her arms reach round, intoxicating fire
The flat of the blade pressed hard against
Passion indulges, increases want
No more need for the knife tonight.

In Love with a friend (a letter to Her).

I need now to stop you. I need your attention.
I have the ears of the world but it’s yours that I seek.
I have something to say & it burns me right through.
I love you.
Seriously. I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you.  & it’s killing me so!

From the moment you walked in when your smile lit my heart
I cried & I knew, My face danced in joy!
These are the things that you set upon me
& I want to tell you but I know that I can’t.
So here to the world, & I scream through my heart…I love you.
…I love you!

You dolled up your face & you shook up my heart, a sexed up Lolita with a razor sharp tongue.
You laughed & you smiled & my knees they were weak, but I kept it together & I set your life free.
You came & we spoke & I sang with my passion, you held on my arm & we danced & we spun,
We giggled & we chatted & we conquered the night, & the success that you brought I owe in such honour.
So I love you my girl. I love you so much!

Your lipstick of scarlet seduced my young heart, as your hair in a plait softened my fear
Your perfect pink cheeks, alive like a fire, sparkling with warmth & the radiance naïve
& your Cleopatra eyes, which entrance, pull me in, I can’t tell you the secrets that stand behind mine,
These smiles you induce & the passion inside. Your clothes left unripped & your smile not yet kissed
You tell me of others & I stand there a friend, but I’m your slave don’t you see, & I’ve fallen for you!
& I’d scream your sweet name if only to attract, & I’d hold you beside for a second too long
For your dreams I desire, you love is my goal, but friendship averts such knowledge of these thoughts
& these smiles that you share or your eyes when we meet, In golden moments alone when the rest they don’t think
& In these seclusions I undress you, in these seconds that we kiss,
& in our asides i pretend that your flirting or more, I pretend you’re seducing & I’m begging, encore
Cause I need you, I want you & I’m screaming out loud, I love you desire, Its love that I’ve found.

The moments we share are bliss for my heart, you’re the drug that I’d kill for, The fuel for these words
When will you see that you’re the goddess I request, the girl of my dreams, I love you the best,
I love you my friend & I wish that you knew. I wish that you’re beauty could stay in my life
& smile for me more & never will regret, These moments together, & these days that we get.

Girl…
I love you. With all of your beauty, I love you.

~ written for the sweetest, prettiest, most fun, most desirable girl that I know. I adore you so, so much & so completely. I’m a fool but I love.
© ed simkins

As you stand before me.

I want you in your golden skin girl! For I fancy & seek your pleasure.
Imagine dreams that come true!
Take off your glasses & smile & see the world so differently. Pretend no more!
Abandon these un-needed games of hide & seek. Just play & stand before me!
Unclasp your sanity & let it drop. Smile, be bashful!
Let your cheeks of pure white snow radiate with joy!
Let me touch you!

Your nervous stance excites me so! I love the flirtation of your virgin thoughts.
So innocent. So sweet. So desired!
Undress the lust that you hold within, bear your scars slowly & daintily!
Caress your cute long hair back as you stand there wondering.
& if you giggled…?

Oh, if you giggled!

Then would I approach in fatherly figure & slowly, tenderly cusp your body into mine.
Our eyes would touch, connect & shine!
My finger drawing a secret veil back beyond, & your cool, soft ears revealed in perfection.
Delicately stroked. I smile.

You’re so beautiful you know!

I’d edge towards an electric kiss, but study & gaze I must upon your youthful tendered flesh.
You; my flower of fun & sweet dessert!
That spring would, could, create any bud that opens as perfectly as you…
I sincerely, strongly doubt!
In lingerie of mystery and night sparkled black, your devilish tempting secrets so lusciously hidden.
You tease me with your cute & contrived playfulness girl.
& how you hide yourself from me; no longer can I resist!
Oh, you with perfect curves, hot, leading!

& So I’d rest my gentle hands on your hips of such slow & dangerous protrusion, that love be made within these hands alone!
& Oh, how long can I stand before my Venus before I eat her whole?!

& then you smile!
You demon you!

Such happiness alight in your female flurry & your warm, spring, blossomed beauty.
Words fail me for the design that’s formed before me!
Sweet Athena, stealer of my heart, let me love you & adore!
My heart is jubilant & breaking for you & heavily passionate in its love for you & you alone!
Smile again my girl & I shall sweetly succumb to blissful serenity!
You my girl are Eden.

~ thinking about you girl! You are truly the most beautiful girl in the world! 
© ed simkins

The Blissful Joy Of Watching You

Climb on to my bed and dance. That’s it – laugh girl!
I like your smiles! You make me grin!
You make me want to do things with you in my devious head.
Can I take you? Play you and make you sigh?
But let’s concentrate! – let’s just watch you jump & sing.
You’re crazy!
& I love you for it!
My bed rolls as you bounce and the mattress springs as you explode in childish delight.
I’d seek your pleasure in other ways. But then we’re just friends; We’re just having fun.
Without the flesh.
So continue & I won’t interrupt. Beside’s you’re too fresh, too innocent and having too much fun to spoil with the pleasures that evolve behind this gentlemanly mask.
But look at you.
Your simple, tectonic thighs, smooth skin that parts and calls my name.
Or so I imagine.
& your belly button – how cute is that? How can it be?
But it captures me & the firmness of your stomach aches for fingers to explore and clothes to rip.
Would my hands massage those tender feminine muscles of yours?
That slim figure of yours with curves that kill.
But I’m still smiling, watching – & I haven’t touched you…
Yet.
I need you to fall over. To collapse on me.
So keep the music loud and dance for me.
Writhe and squirm and tease this guy who’s fallen for you. Within.
& remain unaware of the secret which grows.
I cusp you, caress you & all you do is giggle. You’re so close to kiss.
But then we’re just friends. & I can hold your hand and pretend your smoothness doesn’t do anything.
I keep the lie behind my lips.
My mind is well controlled. No need to scare you.
You the girl who’s happiness pleases me so.
But how, how I want to stroke you.
Pleasure you.
See you fall in love with me.
God! – That human needs should ache for a friend who knows not the truth which rages deep behind these excited eyes.
You’d better go! I’ll see you another day.
For if you stay…
Oh, if you stay!…
Then a woman shall I make of you!
& my dreams begin.

~ thinking of that delightful, sweet tender girl who stimulates my heart.

© ed simkins

White Virgin Bride

Beauty stands. White room, white lace.
My virgin bride. Her nervous heart.
Behind the windows of my sight & soul, tears well for passion found.
I seek to love. But love will not be touched. Not yet.
She stands alone & cautiously I worship her.
My eyes are silken hands which caress her sensual skin.
– Her golden cheeks, her perfect face. The lips I seek to kiss & taste.
Red roses bask in heaven’s surround.
No need for God.
Lady flirts with nature’s tailor.
& succulent perfumed perfection formed.
I speak no sound. I break no rules. I love her deeply, never touch her soul.
I wait. & watch. I bide my time.
This girl too rich in such sweet delights.
I idolise. I dream & wait.
Each second past in warmth affection, age will haunt & death walk close.
Stillness encapsulates the frozen image of her female form.
I smile a fool, victory in admiration.
I know she’ll walk. I know she’ll run.
But like a fly of love trapped on beauty’s web,
I’m too scared to twitch in case she bites.
Or screams & nightmares start & terror fills my naked heart.
I love her.
So I remain a ghost to her
I watch in soft delicate desire.
A slow approach, slow kiss, slow love.
My moments of bliss trapped in time.
Still beauty smiles & I collapse in love,
A passion surges through this broken heart.

~ A secret which I keep stirs in peaceful times. A heart of love full for her.

© ed simkins

Fallen Soldier.

A worthless man am i.
spoilt & rich, unloved & free.
Here I sit by choice in the darkness of my time.
& Here I write my thoughts to you, freely are they mine.
But my mind is scared; I fear death.
I fear the power that others bind.
& So I cry for fallen man. He who stood for dreams more eloquent than mine.
He who now lies far below, victim of another’s crime.
I read his epitaph & tears did form.
This shifting battle consumes
He died for what? What purpose served?
Since tomb was formed what lessons learned?
Power scares – Should one man hold another?
Or man be free eternal dust?
Was death such an important fate for he?
For twisted ideas held passionately?
The action of the war excites and takes my breath away
I love the charge, the kudos, the brave & gallantry.
But death it frightens, mocks and hates
What medal earned gives thanks for fate?
I cannot claim that death attracts such honour as it does
For I fear that man who died that day was regrettably conscribed
And that each in our pathetic way
Has little power over the things we say.
So I sit and cry, I murmur sorrow.
For he who died without grace nor love.
I pity tombstone read and the lives cut short
& the world in which they fought.
I wish, I wish, that love and peace,
Were all that man would chase
& that each own hand earned destiny
Of life and love ; simplicity.

~ On the sadness of war & the tombs that I’ve seen.

© Ed Simkins

Naked Apparitions

Raised skirt hides her buried addiction.
Words that flow through broken mind.
I Sleep.
& Dreams begin.
I lie here. A naked astronaut lost in space.
Smoking ideas. Laughing in the quietness of my mind.
I smile. Though I cannot move.

Girl approaches.
The most beautiful vixen on the planet.
Her skin is hot. Her hair flows & her eyes alight.
I’d eat her if I could.

She swirls. A soft spin.
She scratches me.
Her poisonous talons bleed my arms. Muscles ache in yearning.
My dreams are lead. A spirit heavy with drink.

Her lips are moist. I see them glisten. I wish to stroke.
But fortune only pays for easy street walkers.
& She does no harm.
Smoke inhaled. Fluorescent red floats past.
& I rip the air in front of her.
She sweats.

White dress lolls on sheepskin floor. I love this child.
She is stoned & oh so cute.
She kneels before me as I lie on pandered chair. She looks up & I cusp her face in peace.

I kiss her & the dream begins again. Arousal starts in smiles which form across her youthful face.
An edible creature made from desire. I want her. I sought her. & in my mind I now possess her.
This crimson lipped goddess will know of truth tonight!
Will writhe with childish nervousness & focused ecstasy.

This is the girl I tell you about.
This is the girl who knows not of bliss & wanton lust.
Seduce her god & let me tease her.

For care for her I would .
& guide her sordid life, or best corrupt her myself.
& how much would we….or i….enjoy such bliss?
& so I smile.
& sleep.

a kiss.

~ a single kiss. A gentle tender hug of love. I would lead her well.

© ed simkins

Breathless.

Heart stops in nights of black.
Time itself unravels above the walls of wire.
Stood here I smile, eyes lit by beauty thrown.
Light of brilliance, curves of power
She stands there, ephemeral, intoxicating fire.
My eternal flame, my loyal love.
She watches me, & speaks to me.
Her sisters watch, from crowds of space,
Veiled clouds, so drunk with life.
My heart it sings, each time she’s there
Majestic goddess, lady of secret love.
Her dress of lace, her diamond jewels,
Her still white face, her frozen stance.
Down here I pray for a love,
Something that she considers true.
I beseech with dreams, I kiss the air.
One night she’ll come, she’ll rescue me.
Send such thoughts that I desire.
Then her daughter & I will profligate,
Will raise a generation in dedication lent,
That cult will grow of shining moon,
& youth will love in midnight mass
That naked flesh will whimper in sweet appreciation
& acclaim the love of the moon’s disciple.
For I am he. The knight of nights.
& I stand here in prayer, looking up at you.
I bow to the moon & fall in love.
Her beauty my appeal, her beauty truth.
For Moon is my mistress, my guardian of the heart.
Princess to my dreams, saviour of my mind.
Each night she appears, love is consumed,
A feast for the heart, an orgy for the soul.

~ As I walk home, I gaze up & I think. Life & My Love, Existence, My Future.

© Ed Simkins