Broken

Welcome to the home of the most hated man.
A man who disgusts even himself
& I am that man.
Ugly and foolish, pathetic and weak.
A man who can loves
But witness death in his soul.
Dreams that once blossom cry in the garden
Rain that is pouring
Is years as his driving.
A disaster this evening
Tragic and dull
Woman of beauty
Threatened to kill.
Sunken and discarded
Broken and dead
Rejected like a dumb-ass
Failed in the art.
Blood on his lone wrist
Cut by the knife which wounds as he speaks
Little does she see him
As they dance in the air
What happened to the smiles which protruded and soar?
What happened to the banter that spread into joy?
What happened to promise & desire
& those blissful eyes which gazed into mine?
Suddenly I’m shot,
I’m drowning or I’m cut
Thrown to the wolves like a carcass of distress
All in a word? Or was it a phrase?
I have no idea what happened but I suffer the fall
Glory all gone, dreams lie shattered
Tears in her eyes
Frustration in mine.
The darkness is falling
& the time it gets late
Hence I sit here broken
The famed man of hate.

~ an absolute disaster with HER.
© ed simkins. Joke.

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Dreams Upon A Wall

would you say yes if love smiled wide? if it approached your door and knocked?

would you give it all the time of day? or politely turn it far away?

would you?

for on a wet wall outside your house, i sit and ponder. a dream fulfills my mind but flutters scared.

i recall the days, the girls, the doors which closed. i know my fate before the deed is called.

i see you walking through your warm rooms at night. i see you think and act and dream alone.

do you know i exist? do you care that i seek? that a human kind exists for you?

But a dark shadow freezes here. filled with fear, his nerves a mess.

i seek you temptress. but how, how i’m scared!

that passion sought is not the paine, but humiliation is, defeat.  the dreaded answer no.

a stupid boy.

one that’s stuck to distant wall.

i watch you dream & whispers call. repeat.

a cup of tea, a simple chat. a laugh and knowing smile.

a pleasant thought, a happy silence, the space between where no paine grows.

we’d talk and look, our eyes would flirt, and bitten lips would tease & lead.

our happy hearts would bounce and dance with loving joy that friendship brings.

& how we’d sing in silly games that children play in youthful times.

& roses wait upon your door.

for i’m scared to say, to let you know. so i walk off home & mix my tears with the pouring rain.

leave you there, through watered wooden window frames, & let you watch a wall where stranger sat.

as dark clouds journey through their twilight path, & bid farewell to dreams undone,

& slowly kiss with slight rejection, the man of truth upon your wall.

~ dreams are the things I have inside. reality i know, is unfathomable, without control.

(c) Ed Simkins