Words Not told for you.

Allow death to ramble through your mind as she waits for sleep. Bring the poison closer & sink deeply into the pillows of your mind. Kisses exist no longer as the wound she leaves vents & stings.
Dreams end in failed toxic concoctions. Music no longer lifts but soils the white sheets you rest upon. The fun you had has disappeared within the swirling smoke of thought. I hate me.

Tired, tepid, late night lovers hold onto to strangles made in the cacophony of lust. Their sweat merged in pools of love upon the bed beside you. crawl down to the ends of time & bury your face from such torment. I’m sure love will grow again once more, though where & when & for whom I shall not know. Apologise & play the killer song again. Taste it.

Cold capsized my mind tonight. 2:17 and the world of dogs & hidden trees of fate hide themselves in shades of morning earth. I’m calling you because I’m lost. So lost. Can you aid or bathe the wounds with which I find? I’m aching for an escape from the monsters within my mind, for none will leave no matter how far I run..

& the silence is loud. I’m hurting. My eyes burn with revulsion & the mirrors with which I once showed the female race the beauty of their god is now redundant in dust & cracked shards of memory. I’m no longer what I used to be. Child is dead. The body rots. The mind is veiled & the thoughts echo to the bells of ageing pain.

Only the knife in my head remains as my friend. Her crimson tide kisses my skin & pours it’s scorn upon my time. I’m hurting bad, but soon this world will close it’s lips & laugh at me no more. Soon I will need no more remembrance of the deeds of god. Of when I was king & ruled this hallowed land. I whisper goodbye.

& feel my river red ebb. Pulsate & flow.

Tears merge with blood & the night consumes.
Eats me whole.

I’m sorry.

~ now 02:46 & the night is long & endless.
© ed simkins 2015

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Come Sit With Me.

Take the powder out of your mouth.
Let the crimson tide flow deeply down your veins.
Rest still deep within the comfort of your cherished chair & drift.
Float.
Fall away like autumn leaves upon the cold winds of time.

Believe the dreams my friend & gather in the dust of thought.
Ask yourself the darkest question.
Is death a friend? Will it hurt?
Will nature chase your haunted mind until it screams?

& spot the girl.
The angel of your destiny.
The fraudulent one.
Watch her beckon you in with whispers of beckoning pleasure.
But realise all angels lie & disdain the truth.
Are you still numb with the ecstasy of the burning numbness held within?

Now gaze upon the mirror my friend.
Glare back at the tears you stream towards the level of hell.
Is that where you wish to end or sink?
Is life that bad that all you see are the roses which grow over you?
Are you weak or just subsumed in the tiredness of eternal exhaustion?
So many questions asked I feel you spin.

So come sit with me & let the rhythms flow.
Taste the wine or magic seed escape your self.
Breathe out, exhale & let your soul drift & seek the source of your belief.
Feel the passion of her innocence, the stories of your next day forth.
Cry & shudder & start again.
Kiss the world & then forget.

Tomorrow starts here in your powdered mind.

~ thoughtful dreams as i sit before you, the world
(c) ed simkins 2015

Escape?

Broken knives hover like eagles in the sky.
Bloodied wrist torn & sore.
Eyes drenched in pain
Heart sunk in anger.

I hear the call & stolen lies
Jestful tweaks of hate
Bloody minded you say
You know nothing of the volcano inside.

Frustration mounts in steps so huge
A sickness builds & throat fills up
Disdain for life, disdain for hope
Only solitude pacifies the mind.

A world of loathsome fear stares back at me
Hate & terror & those who kill
I’m tortured here by the control of others
Those of little wit & shallow lives

The blade dangles release within my grasp
If only eyes could focus on this shameful end
Then weakness of the heart & mind
Would in cave find sweet relief

Narrow cut & drowning bath
Water filled with crimson tears
Who’d care if human died
& man escaped by choice?

Oh bloody minded you repeat
With bullshit lines of ineptitude & understanding
Aggression held below the fakest manner
& poisoned spit withheld in cheek

Power told & chained neck brought back
Who I am to run off free?
That knife still circulates
Too weak to bring it sudden down.

~ horrendous bullshit & lack of power.
© ed simkins

A late night fest.

Mute cacophony of ideas
Dreams which end, perplex & roll around to play games in the sand.
A water leaked.
Late night issues & forgotten themes.
Who cares but nobody for the dreams which died.
Incest gave way to passion & planets spun.
Midnight ramble.
Heavy hand broken on repeat.
Can u understand the criteria of the late night sleep?
Drug induced?
Apartment sworn.

Her clothes were torn.
Knees showing in pads of white,
Distance drowning in some foreign air,
Warplanes ran.
She rued the injustice of other people’s wars.
& all the time I coloured text upon the wall.

Final hours stay alert in orange flames of death.
Crimson cigarettes pass from lips.
Youth was a name I knew before.
Braided hair lost its appeal.
I cried when the dog in space died this afternoon.
& Jane was a stranger sold as slave.
Was sex always supposed to be free?

Money buries the dead in sheets of grey
& pauses wait patiently for each man to fill.
What would you say if you were here?
Or alive?
Would you talk to god about the football scores?
Or ask him if you could seduce the neighbour’s daughter?
I live on an island of solitude
Where no respect is given for deeds.

I suppose you should sleep now huh?
Bed yourself in clouds of work.
Could you think of me as I alert the police & ramble fine mosaic words across the sky,
Silent dreams of sex & angels.
Time to plug in the blanket of love & hope & peace.
I wonder if you will say how clever I am?
Is it not good that I can count the stars upon the back of my head?
Girls or drugs or both I ask
Imagine
& then step forward to illustrate the aim of all escape.

Goodnight or morn & salutations.
Robot greased & sleep ensues.
A late night fest.
I take my rest
& bid all thee farewell my friends.

~ I suppose sleep is a valid concoction. I should try it sometime!
© ed simkins

Late Night Dreaming

I wonder what its like to wake up with someone dear
To hold them & giggle, or to just fall in love
Again, like you did the night before.
To walk in places with the eyes of the young
When her smile warms up the golden sun
& her laughter is music which sings all day.

I wonder what taste is a kiss filled with tears when love is all too great
When her eyes are sobbing & loving & the pain engulfs you in a wonder so tall
That the power of her passion fulfills you with love
& sets fire to your soul for you know she’s the one.
Or she winks at you in pleasure & tickles your heart
With the softness of her pleasure & stirs up such excitement
Which conquers all of time & turns it into fragrant flowers.

I wonder the sensation of holding a hand, a tale of youth
Which glides, entwines & forces such sweet smiles
A hand that is always there, a hand that always cares
Stroking & supporting, pulling you close, leading you in
& then those dreams of her sweet lips, a mad midnight, a sacred kiss
Fun fallacy of hope from her & wild whispers of luscious love.

& I wonder the nature of her being, when the world is shared in enjoyment seen
Fun games & parties, silly tricks & dance
Rooms full of makeup, clothes & belongings.
Clutter in the new world where sanity once prevailed
The combs to her cute curls, the purses to her heart
Holders of her sweet dreams, keys to your front door.

& I wonder what I’d experience if love once more ensnared
Appetite for destruction or the making of a great man?
Lost in a heartache or the sanity of new bliss?
For dreams that I have now, shared with another
Fallen in love & headstrong romance
I wonder if all dreams, all crazed fantasies, would wonder of love as well.

~ late night dreaming indeed. A heavy night of too much bad thought.
© ed simkins

Meal For One.

The predictable monotony of meals for two?
Or the purported individualistic freedom for one?
I am yet unknown to answer.

I watch the couples fight & sing, play and love,
I see their knives cut deep into each other’s hearts.
I cringe & wince at each stab & slice.

I feed myself alone
With dreams of love that none provide
Imagination feeds on the days gone past.

I saw a dream today which I invited to dine
She looked & cried and made me run & die
A lowly disdain which ruined her day.

Sauce of sweetness, a sour seduction
A failed mix of smiles & thought
I grabbed my coat & trailed away.

I sit here, in the glory of my cave,
The girl in two tone, rich in fascination
I talk to her alone, a secret whisper sown.

Her body fine, sweet salacious curves of youth,
Her gorgeous hair flowing poetically, I long to hold
She smoothed her dress, I wished to talk & shine.

But she knows nothing of the world I am
She sees my shadow tremble in broken lust.
Her power cripples me. I fail.

This meal for one in a single chaired room,
Filled with tears from the pain of age,
I pretend to love her, but no smiles exchange.

I made her laugh through crimson wit,
I heard her giggle & the flame of joy leaped softly across her lips
I wish she knew of the conversation held.

But her food grows cold, & I sit alone.
I wish she’d sit & enjoy my world.
Yet stranger remains a distant hope of love.

~ I watched a film of two & I saw her today. I cannot escape this fix of mine. It tears me so.
© ed simkins

Confusion Illusion

Encamped within the blankets of the midnight sun

I am lost, & scared; confused indeed.

I know little of truth, if truth exists

I speak & the stories I tell are false

Love or hate, desire or power, I cannot ascertain their strength nor value & virtue, legality or even sense?

I speak my mind; delusions play.

A fatal flaw, a door, an entrance to another world I seek.

I stare at life & conquer fear & a lie

I tell you things, I draw these things,

But the fear of the heart persists

& I question you.

Bewitched by lust, controlled by want

My mind facilitates the loan of thought

A fabric made of fables known to women of a certain age

& all who lie

– The human race

Mindless, naked bodies in feminine & incredible disguise, I seek your bliss!

& riches made in notes which burn.

My wallet holds secrets bound

Credit cards unused & lewd ownership of cars.

& the biggest lie?

That I exist

& in this told I find myself chained & fixed & worse controlled

By banks & dreams & Hollywood,

Of governments & gestures shook.

Nor Friends & family I say exist

& sex or intellect, none do persist

& so I dream of sleep & waste my time

& watch the sun arise, as tomorrow flies.

A sad reprise but wonder works.

I ask you – how much freedom do we have?

~ The power of the unknown scares the hell of me.

© ed Simkins

A Waterfall Of Thoughts

dreams are strange idylls of time, which flitter & flutter through my mind.

peaceful waterfalls flow & ebb like time itself, i walk through gardens of sensual fantasies.

you smile in dutch, i smile in french & the world itself dances & sings.

i hear myself in music blown, like symphonies of old on majestic sky, raising stages.

earth’s crust melts in heated nights, each man abducts & loves his woman.

lingerie falls, like leaves from autumnal trees, & the echos of virgin sighs pleases me.

how can i ask for more than reality to bite or for these dreams of mine to occur?

i sit here naked; a newborn Bern. easily at home within this stolen painted cave.

thoughts repeat as i ask my question, & stories told return once more.

no sign of the prettiest girl, no sexual smile, no delicious warning signs.

the loins are cold, unwanted toys, imagination plays upon her crimson dress.

money that i own, i pay for you, a rich man’s pimp who buys for pleasure.

a day of motions without unrest or meaningless stress, night draws near.

bolted locks are crossed & fused, man entrapped in simple solitude.

rambling thoughts & precious deeds revealed in abused amazement.

brain empty, sugar spent. a neutral colour now. i rest my head.

~ just thinking & reviewing my day, my hopes, my dreams, my wishes & being at peace

(c) Ed Simkins

Un-Poetic Thoughts

So most of the world has gone – ventured forth & seen a new year begin.

Here in the land where time began, it’s twenty to eight & I’m wondering what to do.

In my head i’ve nothing to see, so i’m throwing out my house.

The stuff has gone and the walls are down too.

I’ve decided to follow the monkshood for the priests are scary sons of a-something.

I prefer the sanity of mountains and the intensity of boredom.

So that is my lot for the next block of 3 – 6 – 5 and all the nights too.

No screaming sexuality, no raucous conquests for me.

This maverick son of god follows the sanctity of nature, of a beauty born from thought.

So I wish you all well on this marvellous night of last minute festivities

I wish you all well on conquering yourselves.

& I only hope i see you at the end & kiss you goodnight again

– When the beauty of all is clear to see.

Happy New Year & spread the word of peace & goodwill.

*Love & Huggs & Kisses to girls, Hi fives & Smiles to the dudes & the rogues*

Be Blessed.

(c) Ed Simkins