Temptress On Bed

The anti-Christ sits on her bed jealous and scared.
Her blood red hair fires thoughts of prehistoric passion
Gems align her dark in bedazzling arrays of love & lust.
She tells me how much she aches for deeds to be done, but motivation lacks within.

I rest cross legged before her, smiling and pondering on the meaning of life.
I came to her in the middle of the night & now it’s half past evening.
Thursday’s downpour continues at the entrance of the cave
I cleaned her room in fits of boredom, God had ventured too far away to beseech.

Her name is silent, for I can not tell you the secret of my desire, though she is beauty & I miss her when she’s not around.
She’s plucking at her nails & I’m lost in space.
Pictures of the past decorate her home.
My perfect match in many ways.

A vest of innocence drapes across her delicate chest, beads of hope lie delicately upon her bed of hate.
I kissed her once, in a land and dream far, far away. I was younger then.
But I returned.
For the stillness of my life request constant feeding.
I ache for her.

I’m hungry. & tired. & stolen. & lost. & I ponder how I can seduce her now.
But the anti-Christ doesn’t care. She gives no love.
All woman perhaps, with the beauty of her youth intact, but cruel.
Like every woman I’ve ever met. Dishonest & brutish in the realities of the day.

& so I sit estranged. My beautiful, delicious, fresh, young temptress bathed in red.
I hold her hand & I know my limitations. For this is as far as I go.
Blissful girl with braided locks destroys my heart & the whispers of the storm ride high & circle
I love her. But she does not know.

I want to taste her.

But she is now far away.

~ thoughts of the golden one turn to fate.
© ed simkins 2015

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Crazy for you.

Undress for me.
Stand and shiver in darkened light.
I long for thee.
For single word you spoke tonight.

I yearn for you.
Your cherished face which I adore.
Aching, smiling, wanting you.
Now without, in need of more.

I long for you.
A sweet delicious, smiling thrill
In awe of you.
That God were real, then I would kill.

Your braided hair
Your soft delights
Your Nervous neck
So Virgin white.

& your beaming face
Which strikes my heart
Lost in space
& now departs.

My secrets told
In honest signs,
But My heart is bold
In these written lines.

That you were stood so close & near
Knowing of no midnight fear
Then hands of mine would tender be
& kiss your skin, so longingly.

& your cheeks of rosey simplicity
Would smile with touch & honesty
For child, or girl, or woman known,
For you my love, my heart has grown.

~ for you. the girl of my dreams.
© ed simkins 2015

Tripping on illusions

I’m not sure.
It’s all bizarre.
Maybe I’m dead.
Or lost.

The sun’s out.
The clouds are rolling.
Things just seem strange.
Not quite what I expected.

Last night I was at her door
I was smoking the air
I was straining to pretend she stood there
Smiling in her fluffy blue dressing gown.

I laid down my roses
Wished that she’d see them
Wished that she knew I’d been there
Wished that she’d call me

But death is a strange friend
One who just whispers
Reminds you of truth
Shows you the futility of dreams.

So I kissed you on your forehead
The way I always used to do before
I stroked your nose & saw you smile
I never knew love could feel so good

& then a shadow you became
& i’m back here in my garden
My mind is tripping with illusions
A late night expedition to the old house of love

My dreams are that something new would occur
Something amazing would grip me by my heart
That she or you would come & hold my hand
That the dreams would come to fruition.

I’d like to experience something like that again
Something pulsing like fresh blood through my veins
I’d like this summer sun to witness romance
& paint the flowers which I see in shades of love.

So I’m not sure you see
Not sure what this day is I hold in my thoughts
& I’m tripping on illusions
& I’m wishing in the garden.

~ You know that I love her, but I want to experience this life.
© ed simkins

In Love with a friend (a letter to Her).

I need now to stop you. I need your attention.
I have the ears of the world but it’s yours that I seek.
I have something to say & it burns me right through.
I love you.
Seriously. I love you.
I love you. I love you. I love you.  & it’s killing me so!

From the moment you walked in when your smile lit my heart
I cried & I knew, My face danced in joy!
These are the things that you set upon me
& I want to tell you but I know that I can’t.
So here to the world, & I scream through my heart…I love you.
…I love you!

You dolled up your face & you shook up my heart, a sexed up Lolita with a razor sharp tongue.
You laughed & you smiled & my knees they were weak, but I kept it together & I set your life free.
You came & we spoke & I sang with my passion, you held on my arm & we danced & we spun,
We giggled & we chatted & we conquered the night, & the success that you brought I owe in such honour.
So I love you my girl. I love you so much!

Your lipstick of scarlet seduced my young heart, as your hair in a plait softened my fear
Your perfect pink cheeks, alive like a fire, sparkling with warmth & the radiance naïve
& your Cleopatra eyes, which entrance, pull me in, I can’t tell you the secrets that stand behind mine,
These smiles you induce & the passion inside. Your clothes left unripped & your smile not yet kissed
You tell me of others & I stand there a friend, but I’m your slave don’t you see, & I’ve fallen for you!
& I’d scream your sweet name if only to attract, & I’d hold you beside for a second too long
For your dreams I desire, you love is my goal, but friendship averts such knowledge of these thoughts
& these smiles that you share or your eyes when we meet, In golden moments alone when the rest they don’t think
& In these seclusions I undress you, in these seconds that we kiss,
& in our asides i pretend that your flirting or more, I pretend you’re seducing & I’m begging, encore
Cause I need you, I want you & I’m screaming out loud, I love you desire, Its love that I’ve found.

The moments we share are bliss for my heart, you’re the drug that I’d kill for, The fuel for these words
When will you see that you’re the goddess I request, the girl of my dreams, I love you the best,
I love you my friend & I wish that you knew. I wish that you’re beauty could stay in my life
& smile for me more & never will regret, These moments together, & these days that we get.

Girl…
I love you. With all of your beauty, I love you.

~ written for the sweetest, prettiest, most fun, most desirable girl that I know. I adore you so, so much & so completely. I’m a fool but I love.
© ed simkins

Meal For One.

The predictable monotony of meals for two?
Or the purported individualistic freedom for one?
I am yet unknown to answer.

I watch the couples fight & sing, play and love,
I see their knives cut deep into each other’s hearts.
I cringe & wince at each stab & slice.

I feed myself alone
With dreams of love that none provide
Imagination feeds on the days gone past.

I saw a dream today which I invited to dine
She looked & cried and made me run & die
A lowly disdain which ruined her day.

Sauce of sweetness, a sour seduction
A failed mix of smiles & thought
I grabbed my coat & trailed away.

I sit here, in the glory of my cave,
The girl in two tone, rich in fascination
I talk to her alone, a secret whisper sown.

Her body fine, sweet salacious curves of youth,
Her gorgeous hair flowing poetically, I long to hold
She smoothed her dress, I wished to talk & shine.

But she knows nothing of the world I am
She sees my shadow tremble in broken lust.
Her power cripples me. I fail.

This meal for one in a single chaired room,
Filled with tears from the pain of age,
I pretend to love her, but no smiles exchange.

I made her laugh through crimson wit,
I heard her giggle & the flame of joy leaped softly across her lips
I wish she knew of the conversation held.

But her food grows cold, & I sit alone.
I wish she’d sit & enjoy my world.
Yet stranger remains a distant hope of love.

~ I watched a film of two & I saw her today. I cannot escape this fix of mine. It tears me so.
© ed simkins

Unseen by You.

The numbness of your thoughts.

Lips which speak of other men & break

The dreams I hold within, behind this mask.

I feel the pain.

I sink to feet.

My fire burns but no smoke seen – you cannot see.

You have no clue this love I hold; I yearn for you.

A ghost I am. Mischievous, amusing, blind & drunk.

You ignore me so. It kills.

You slit my wrists with paine of childish dismissal.

Fourteen again & treated so.

You hold my hand. But to you this is jest, not love for me.

You take my name & throw it round the rooms we play.

I long for you.

But you run right past.

I smile for you.

A fool. His muse.

I feel the weariness of love appear & conquer me.

& Numbness holds.

I want you.

I wish you knew.

That other man whose name you brandish like golden finds, what care he for you?

Nothing!

– Nothing.

But I my friend. I my smiling pretty, goofy, unashamed in ignorance, blissful girl,

I adore.

The softness of your touch which melts my skin & drains my brain in mush for you.

Or that waist which calls & screams for my hands to be emboldened & take you there.

Undress your clothes & sense the silkiness of your curves alone.

I long for you.

& though my kisses would range from slow to hunger, your smile would I confess each day fuels my mind.

But you talk of him!

As if god were more important than the joys of someone close who worships you.

You’re killing me!

& I see you do not care or know.

You put me down in words of jest & compete in ways with me that time will test.

Another touch of hand.

Warm, smooth, innocent ecstasy. A frivolous desire.

I burn for you; a crimson fire.

You push me far, & I can’t break through!

I m drunk in the words I write for you.

I wish that girl could love or kiss

Then aching yearning would I miss & dreams fulfilled.

Snuggled up with naked child who smiled.

I dream of you.

Perhaps one day you’ll call for me instead.

~ On being with my girl. She speaks but does not see.

© ed simkins

“I love you.”

Tell her.
Tell her how I feel inside.
See me cry with pained & scarlet truth.
Watch the rivers flower.

I speak no lie.
A broken man who dies. Eyes which burn & seek & yearn.
Tears roll. & merge with words.
I wish she knew.
I wish that guts were things that changed the world for me,
For mine would spill in granted defeat if only doors would open wide & smile.

I love you.
Your beauty sings.
Each delicate movement, each perfect feature born
You steal my breath.
You ignore my being.

I sleep alone, a ghost in clothes. A memory served with forgotten jest.
Deleted pictures burnt.
How I‘d change the world if god existed or controlled the world the way he should.

& Virgin youth.
With moistened lips & soft curved face. She pains me so; unwelcome frustration.
I cannot take the fruits I seek. Nor pin her down & tender love be made.
Metal bars surround her.
Teased desire.

What use is love?
Or lust?
Or want or dreams?
Abandoned night without her here. I bruise from day to day.
I seek her smiles.
I seek her kiss.
A long, slow, tender, sweet, delicious taste. Her soft young lips which play & shake, her nervous bite.
These the things I know of well.
For each night I dream of you my love. of how in love, in paired embrace, you and I would stay.
Long & take & question why.
that this feeling found, this sensation now
could not, should not, will not last a thousand years.

For if only you knew.
That I love you.
So tell her that from me.
Tell her.
“I love you”

~ When I think of the girl of my dreams.

© Ed Simkins