Midnight Suicide.

Hurting.
Crying.
Another late night.

Falling.
Breaking.
Mind caving in.

Face wet with tears
Heavy hand burdened
Death blowing sweet kiss.

Days end in collapse
Strength an illusion
Pathetic humiliation.

Unable to break out
Frustrated by limits
Entrapped by my dreams

Screaming through these old ribs
Frightened by my own age
Terrified by hers.

Loser to everything
Hated by all
Unknown by everyone

Dreams an illusion
Empty with frustration
Once was a child.

Exhausted by fighting
Missing her last kiss
Afraid of tomorrow

Desperate to return
To the days of my kingship
So long without love

Expressing my failure
Knowing my weakness
My midnight suicide.

~ what more needs saying? Another painful night.
© ed simkins

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wounded tiger

Happy smiles of golden mask
Which end in tears of solemn rage
Rejected buffoon which plays the fool
& tiger ensnared in cage.
No escape is made for time
for man who tries & dies
on every road I wander down
as time of mine it flies.
but plane shot down & weary ship
Where every wave he sails
Brings down shit like broken masts
& coffins complete with nails.
these echoes made of glories past
Where once i stood and smiled
I by now a distant hero
where every loss is trialled.
Sinking fast as forest glares
a tiger ‘fraid of striking out
my starving dreams i’m weary off
Continue years of drought.
Tiger crawled, approached his prey
Mask worn & manners held
But youthful princess knew my plans
ensured all trees were felled.
With dejected heart I could not close
In dusk I couldn’t approach
& every question asked in glee
Suffered a fatal reproach.
I wished to bite, to lap her up
To tear her clothes & see her sweat
But fate is cruel & such a game
Sees me foiled, & then I’m set.
On long walk home with laughs behind
From crowds of demons who reject
& so I stumble to this lonely spot
Where no-one will detect.
Where no-one sees me cry & bleed
& wish for blissful death
For I tried to break, I tried to strike
I longed for naked breath.
But death comes close & breaks my heart
In darkest night I fail
Her rejection causes such cruel pain
…Under moonlight cold & pail.

~ another utter rout.
© ed simkins

anger with a whore

a red lipped whore with frozen fingers,

telling me not to ask my fucking questions,

you make me sick, you foul my street

you look at me and ya get your kick.

your filthy habits screw my mind

a destitution for those unkind

you lie, you cheat, you leave me weak

you think your magic, you’re only cheap.

you bite the takers, you screw their cash,

you inject your poison & build your stash

i hate you with a venom born

of all the hate that i have learnt.

you sit in filth and break my dreams

understanding nothing of what i mean.

you look in hate with broken eyes

and blame me now for stolen skies

your life, your past, your wearied skin

you think i care for what you did?

you can blame the state, or blame your birth

i dont care what you think you’re worth

i dont care, i live my life

i love my children i kiss my wife.

for you to tell me that i’m wrong

to lead me on for just so long

to get you cash, to get your fix

i hate you woman, & all your sick.

a mistake was made, a bad day had

a bored husband with a weekend fad

you chase me down & i’ll slit your throat

let love and blood together soak.

so i’m off and out, i’ll fix my world

leave you behind my broken girl.

~ staring at candles too long makes you wonder about things

(c) Ed Simkins